Hey I'm 18 and my boyfriends 21
We are going away next Saturday for the weekend and I no I'm ready for sex
And he is so understanding telling me not to do anything I don't want to do
I'm just worried that its really going to hurt?
Please help I just want to make him happy

Dear Lovely,

No one can say for sure how it will feel for you, but it is quite common for the first time to hurt a little. It's likely to be less painful if you are really excited by him and glad to be doing it, which you don't sound like you are.

If you are not ready for sex, then do not do this now. You should want to do it and there will come a time when you will--if not with him, then with someone else.

If you are thinking of doing this only to please him and you don't desire it yourself, then you are not keeping firm boundaries between your needs and other people's needs. He is not an infant who needs to be taken care of. He is demanding something you are not obliged to give. He is already pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, so it's not true that he is understanding. He is not being considerate of your feelings.

Cancel this weekend. Tell him you are not yet ready for sex. If you go away for the weekend with him, he will just pressure you until you give in. So don't go.

Seeing as you say you are ready, then you must be on birth control and have been on it for over a month, right? and you know, he MUST use a condom, right? this being said, if he is as "considerate" as you say, then he would be willing to wait...you Will probably freak out a bit when he starts, and you don't want to do that... wait till you are older and even till you are married if you can. Make the first time THE most special...

I misread "i no im ready for sex" as "I am not ready for sex."

Apologies. But "no" does not mean "know." :)

If you were really ready, you would not be afraid that it is going to hurt, but excited that you're going to be with the right person at the right time.

I agree with Asking, though--if you're REALLY ready, you've both been tested for STDs, you've been on birth control for at least a year, and he's got a good supply of condoms that he's not only willing to wear, but glad to wear in order to protect you both.

Based on the spelling of the OP; I would say this person isn't 18 as she is reporting. Call me crazy but I think we are giving advice to some 13 year olds.

An 18 year old should know how to spell "know" rather than "no" unless there is a complete failure of the public school system. Furthermore most 18 year old girls would know based on hygenic feminine requirements and talking with friends who have had sex whether it's going to hurt or not and wouldn't come here for answers, she would already know by the time she's 18; a younger person wouldn't know because her friends haven't had sex yet.

This is the only Adult Board on this site, so I like to answer questions like I'm dealing with an adult since there is no verification of age other than how a person talks about the issues and problems he or she has.

I wouldn't go away to lose my virginity. Since it will probably hurt a lot, you may want to be in familiar surroundings near someone to talk to.

Weekends are for having a great time with your boyfriend... lots of fun activities and enjoyable sex.

Best wishes, :)

Well girly, I know that we can all say wait until your older, or make sure he's the right guy, and all that good stuff, but when it comes right down to it your going to do what you feel is right. I will say that you really have to be in the mood and want it for it not to hurt to bad. If your not in the mood then I would wait. And maybe use some type of lube, that would probably help a little, and not hurt as bad. But if he's willing to wait until your ready then you should have nothing to worry about. If your not in the mood then don't do anything.

Well girly, I know that we can all say wait until your older, or make sure hes the right guy, and all that good stuff, but when it comes right down to it your going to do what you feel is right. I will say that you really have to be in the mood and want it for it not to hurt to bad. If your not in the mood then I would wait. And maybe use some type of lube, that would probably help a little, and not hurt as bad. But if hes willing to wait until your ready then you should have nothing to worry about. If your not in the mood then dont do anything.

She probably already has. She asked the question in January.

Thread closed.

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