View Full Version : Does this sentence make sense?
flameruckus
Jan 4, 2009, 11:42 AM
Is this sentence grammatically correct? (I need it for a personal essay.)
As I look back on my life, I realize I have completed many accomplishments, cultivated beautiful personal relationships, and created a strong legacy to be left behind.
N0help4u
Jan 4, 2009, 11:50 AM
It makes sense but is rather long it would look better if you broke it down into two or three sentences.
As I look back on my life, I realize I have completed many accomplishments. I feel I have cultivated beautiful personal relationships, and created a strong legacy to be left behind.
smearcase
Jan 4, 2009, 12:39 PM
I think it is redundant in two places. Completed accomplishments? Accomplish is defined as completing. How about "achieved many goals".
A legacy can't be left anywhere except behind.
I would suggest "and created a positive and inspiring legacy"
I am just trying to get rid of the redundancy and this is just my opinion.