I am 30 years old, and I feel sad, lonely all the time since my break up. I know Im not the only one having a break up, I just don't understand why I can't get over this one.and why I am not able to forget him. I need him to be with me so much that it hurts... as if some energy is going out from my body through my hands, and when the energy goes out I feel emptied and start crying till the pain is gone a bit. And then I ask all over again why he wanted to hurt me so much. And what can I do not to feel like this anymore, because I'm really tired, and exhausted, and I feel it is absorbing from my powers to do other better things. I feel demotivated, clueless and I feel that my life's aim is over.I want to forget him. I need to know if this feeling is understandable.

...I need...so much that it hurts...I feel emptied...im really tired... exhausted...demotivated, clueless and ... my life's aim is over. I need to know if this feeling is understandable.

It is to me, because that pretty much sums up how I felt when I discovered this site. I was basically waiting for death, gutted and hollow, with nothing having a point, and so sad I was physically sick. Please read and apply the suggestions in the sticky posts in the Relationships forum and accept that it will take time, perhaps a lot, to heal.

I'm sorry about your breakup. I know from firsthand experience what you are feeling. I broke up with a college friend of mine, and we are still friends to this day. However, it does sound like you have become depressed. Don't worry, it is a very common problem. You need to seek professional help so that it doesn't get worse. A county mental health clinic can help, or if you have insurance, go see a psychiatrist. Either way you need help. Eventually you will get over him, and move on. It is painful, but it is not permanent.
Take care!

It will take time, perhaps a lot, to heal.[/QUOTE]

Just how long... can u tell me pplease... a minimum and a max?

Well to be honest... There is no correct answer for that. It all depends on you. I've had a friend who was devastated for over a year, and moved to be closer to him only to find out he had moved on and was living with someone else; or a couple of friends who, quoting the famous Lady Chablis, "Two tears in a bucket. motherf**k it!"
The main thing is, YOU WILL GET OVER HIM. It hurts for awhile, but you get to survive this one. And maybe in the process find somebody else. Cheer up! It is not the end of the world...
Worse things could be happening...

GET OUT!!
Make yourself feel better, I know easier said than done.
Keep yourself busy. Meet new people. Make new friends. Connect with old friends. Join a gym. Take a class. Better yourself.
I'm sorry for your broken heart. Know that it will heal.

Thanks a lot.. I feel A LOT BETTER since I read your answers.It's been already 5 months, so I guess I prefer to heal late than never. I already changed my job and my country, and I will soon go to a gym... :):):)

"The main thing is, YOU WILL GET OVER HIM. It hurts for awhile, but you get to survive this one."
That was the best thing I heard since a lonnng time... thanks a lot.

I already changed my job and my country, and i will soon go to a gym...:):):)

Well changing your country might have been a little extreme! ;)

Haha, yup it is... but the good thing is I was lucky to have a better opportunity abroad... So it was not only for him... He was not my only problem, he knew it and still hurt me because he wanted me to suffer as much as he suffered when he was dumped by his ex, he also said he wanted me to loose myself confidence and make me think that I should commit suicide because I am losing someone like him that loveddddd me so much. But with your kind help, I think Ill get over that soon.. It's along story I don't want to bither you by giving hthe whole thing... just THANKS!!

All good answers. I know it hurts, and breakups suck, period. The main thing you have to do is just focus on yourself, and improve your overall impression of yourself. The easiest thing to do after a break up is think that we aren't good enough, and the person who broke our heart was perfect... not the case.

The best thing to do is just do everything possible to feel good about yourself, cause one day, when you look in that mirror, you truly will see how beautiful you really are, and realize that life is waiting for you! Good luck, and you will be fine.

That guys a jerk. It's a great thing you are no longer with him.
Keep your head up and shine, it won't be hard to do better than that guy.

I'm sort of going through the same thing except as long as he's in my life I won't be able to get over him, and he'll always be in my life because we have a child together.

Did he tell you he could make you loose yourself esteem if he wanted to? Did he tell you he thinks you would jump off a roof because he is no longer with u? Did he tell you that he knows that you love him but he will leave you cause he wants to hurt you?and finally, did you tell him all your secrets just so he would nail you on each one of them and even not believe you anymore? I do not think the dad of your kid did all I have been done... my mistake was that I believed what he showed me in the beginning, and I loved him... I will never allow myself to love again, because all that I get is wounds.

And by the way, thanks compsavvyimnot, your words soothed my pain... some confidence never hurts... eveybody knows Im beautiful, and I had noticed that he didn't like when someone told me so...

He's done some messed up stuff that has left me in a pretty crappy situation. I was trying to relate to your problem, but you twisted it.

Im sorry:Pi got a bit carried away... didnpt mean to be naggish... but can you tell what kind of things he did?

Hi, o'm hurt because my superviser does not want to take me as his student in Phd. I did my MS with him, and yes I did mistakes many times, but being a human its natural. He selected my two friends to work with him but ignored me completely, rather said that he does not have vacancy. I'm badly hurt for this rejection. I don't understand what might the reason be

We all have our own choices to make. When we make a bad one,
We can always choose again, having a little more knowledge.

Maggie 3

You don't know what pain is.

The people responding to you are shallow reflections of hackneyed adages and regurgitated garbage. I envy their stupidity and the shallowness of their emotions. If you truly loved this man, the pain will never go away. It will destroy you, one way or another. My sincere condolences.

Wow Deus you just described my 12 years of emotional pain... yes, people who are worried that it took 5 months or a year to recover don't have a clue as to real emotional pain... but despite the fact that the pain never goes away the only way it can destroy you is if you let it. I envy the people who can recover in less than 12 years, lol... but more importantly I have learned to let the pain come, experience it, and then go do something, anything, but do something, from eating bacon to cleaning the car. The pain doesn't last as long as it did the first year (every minute) or the sixth year (every week)... but for a relationship that was 32 years long I would be lame if I said I will ever get over it... but I will get better with every passing moment based on the human strength to survive... and more importantly I bring hope to myself because the true picture in knowing that I truly, unconditionally loved and that is something few people can experience... moving on means acknowledging that you didn't stop loving... but the relationship had to stop because someone was unhappy in it. This wasn't my fault because each person lives in only one place... inside their own mind. If you change your own thinking you will heal enough to feel the pain but not let it destroy you.