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bmc_imr4308
Jan 1, 2009, 10:02 PM
I don't know if I am paronoid or what. My girlfriend has been ignoring me and according to her friend who I know I can trust, she says that this is starting the same way as is did when she broke up with her last boyfriend. This was a couple of days ago but just yesterday she told me that she talked to her and found out that there was a problem, which I had no idea about. So I don't know if I am just paranoid or if there really is something that I did and that she won't tell me. What I am asking is if I should keep trying to ask what is wrong or just let things play out.

talaniman
Jan 1, 2009, 10:06 PM
Just me I brace myself, and talk to her. Just ask her. What the hell is going on. And be ready for whatever she tells you. Sorry, but I hope it works out.

bmc_imr4308
Jan 1, 2009, 10:18 PM
Thanks man, I really would like to ask her what the hell is going on but she won't even talk to me. She won't answer the phone, text me back, or even call me back.

talaniman
Jan 1, 2009, 10:49 PM
Disappear from her life. Who does she think she is??

bmc_imr4308
Jan 1, 2009, 10:56 PM
You have a point there, you know she is acting this way and has brought this on herself. Thanks man for all your help.

411Help
Jan 1, 2009, 11:37 PM
Wow. Does this girl have any respect for you at all?

itried
Jan 2, 2009, 12:39 AM
Just ignore her back. Don't give respect if you are getting none.

bmc_imr4308
Jan 7, 2009, 10:46 AM
Oh get this, I just got a text from her brother because we are good friends and he told me that she ripped his out because she thought that he was texting me. Is it me or does it seem that this relationship isn't going to work out.

HistorianChick
Jan 7, 2009, 10:49 AM
Sorry, bud. Doesn't seem like it will work out, but seems like it's already over.

Best of luck!

Romefalls19
Jan 7, 2009, 11:08 AM
This relationship is already over. Put this one on the shelf, because even if she does come back, you want this to happen repeatedly?

bmc_imr4308
Jan 7, 2009, 11:12 AM
Well you guys have a point, this one is more then likely already over. Even though I could guess it, I guess I was just wondering on what the hell is going through her head. From what I hear from her brother and her best friend, it seems that I didn't do to end this.

bmc_imr4308
Jan 15, 2009, 09:36 AM
I don't know what Im doing anymore. I finally got the chance to talk to my girlfriend last night for the first time since she started ignoring me and asked her to explain why she was ignoring me. I think she was trying to confuse me by using all these weird analogies and stuff like that, but from what I got out of it, it just doesn't seem like she into me anymore. Until recently things have been great between us and I didn't notice anything wrong. I guess what I'm asking is, should I give her space and let her work it out or should I intervene and together we can figure this out.

plonak
Jan 15, 2009, 11:14 AM
You need to leave her alone. The more you bother her the more you're going to push her away.

You need to move on and respect her space. My ex is still bothering me after being broken up for 6 months, and let me tell you, it does no good.. he gets nowhere with me and only opens up more wounds for himself..

You need to heal, get active, meet new people, start new hobbies and better yourself.. that's really the only way to heal from the heartbreak

kctiger
Jan 15, 2009, 11:19 AM
I dont know what Im doing anymore. I finally got the chance to talk to my girlfriend last night for the first time since she started ignoring me and asked her to explain why she was ignoring me. I think she was trying to confuse me by using all these weird analogies and stuff like that, but from what i got out of it, it just doesnt seem like she into me anymore. Until recently things have been great between us and i didnt notice anything wrong. I guess what im asking is, should i give her space and let her work it out or should i intervene and together we can figure this out.

Seems to me that she isn't your girlfriend anymore... at least... she doesn't act like it. There are red flags thrown up all around your story... see the link below

Signs your relationship is coming to an end (Click Me) (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/relationship-redflags-302960.html)

liz28
Jan 15, 2009, 11:23 AM
Follow your intincts because they would never prove you wrong and I think you know the answer.

You can't keep reaching out to someone and that person is not reaching back because after all actions speak louder than words. Even though you might want to stay and work things out remember a relationship is about two people working together to make it work or last, not one.

If she stop communicating with you and stop doing the things she used to do, then yes it might be the end and then it's time for you step back and let go.

rainbowreedbr
Jan 15, 2009, 11:26 AM
Most likely as we females do, we give the cold shoulder when trying to escape for a little downtime.

Don't hound her about what's wrong it'll only make her upset or angry. It could also be some PMS-ing but that's a simple guess.

Your best bet if you really are worried is write a heart felt note, girls love getting them it's very important that you be open with how you feel like she's ignoring you and you just want to know if everythings OK between us.

kctiger
Jan 15, 2009, 11:31 AM
Your best bet if you really are worried is write a heart felt note, girls love getting them it's very important that you be open with how you feel like she's ignoring you and you just want to know if everythings ok between us.

I am going to use your quote here for a venting session... this is absolute BS! I don't know what kind of guy the OP is, but I am sick and tired of hearing that "girls need that," or "girls need this." I poored my heart out to my ex in a note awhile back, and she never even acknowledged it. Girls in general need to learn how to appreciate good when they have it good, period. I am not speaking for every girl, but I am tired of the guys always expected to pour their heart out and get absolutely NOTHING in return.

The OP on this thread has an obvious problem because she is NOT his girlfriend anymore... he needs to change his whole mentality. Love is a two way street, and even if she was his girlfriend, PMS or not, treating someone like this shouldn't be rewarded with a lovenote or roses... for future record, if any girls on here date a guy like me and expect me to reward you for this behaviour, you can kiss my be-hind. I devote enough of myself to someone without having to deal with that stuff...

Once again, no offense intended. I am just in a irritated mood today! I love all you guys and gals! :)

Guys love some beer, the remote, an HDTV, and some APPRECIATION!!

Romefalls19
Jan 15, 2009, 12:09 PM
Forget the PMS crap! Guys don't get a pass for SFS(Sunday Football Syndrome) so there is no way my fiancé is getting off treating me like crap because of PMS!

As far as writing a love letter, BULLSH!T! I am not going to pour my heart out to try and get you to come back, if my actions don't tell you that I love you enough then go find another guy to help fit your perfect mold.

Ahh that struck a nerve!

Fizzy Burst
Jan 15, 2009, 12:38 PM
This is what helps me in these situations. Just read it and think about it

"Do not dwell on the past and get stuck in the why and how, because you can not change the past. Do not get stuck in the future in the maybes, what ifs, and someday, because you can not manipulate or predict the future. Instead, stay in the moment. The moment is all you have to live for. Be as happy as you can be in the moment that you are in. Accept that moments change in the blink of an eye. When that moment changes, it is the past and don't dwell in it, because it can not be changed".

liz28
Jan 15, 2009, 04:56 PM
No Rome, guys don't get a pass for Sunday or Monday night football let alone any other day of the week but why is it that every time a female is in one of her mood it's PMS? Also, when the Giants lost this week you would've thought that a love one past from the way he acted. I hate when my fiancé pull that card. I hate that the

Romefalls19
Jan 15, 2009, 05:50 PM
Liz, I hope you didn't misunderstand my post. I wasn't implying that every time a girl is in a bad mood that it is PMS, I just did not like how the one post said that as a reason.

PS Tell him I said "fly eagles fly!"

expat2009
Jan 15, 2009, 06:08 PM
Buddy, you need to pull back and give her some space. If she's acting like this then something's up. Nothing you can do about it though---Whatever is going on inside her only she can sort it out--especially if you've done nothing wrong in your view. Whatever you say or do might just make things worse.

For now, you need to focus on yourself and let her come to you. Do not intervene, if she wants it to work then let her put some effort into it also, otherwise, it's not fair to you to have to pour your heart into a one-way relationship. Keep your dignity and realise that if she doesn't appreciate you then someone else will.

liz28
Jan 15, 2009, 06:08 PM
No, I understood your post but I just question the PMS thing. I'll tell my fiancé what you said even though I don't know what it means.lol

talaniman
Jan 17, 2009, 08:01 PM
How long has she been ignoring you, and is this the first time?

zeeniee
Jan 17, 2009, 08:16 PM
Hi bmc-imr4380,

It looks like the girl is avoiding you as she is not into you- for some reason, it sounds like it is her way of calling t all off without actually saying the words? I am sorry but if that is the case, that is a v poor, disrepectful way of tell someone they don't want to be with them.

I find this behaviour all rather 'fishy' if you ask me. I think they may be more to whatever reason she has told you. You will need to judge the situation with how she behaves, rather than what comes out of her mouth.
For now,
Do NOTHING.
Keep yourself busy
SHow her nothing
Let her have all the space she wants.

bmc_imr4308
Jan 19, 2009, 11:09 AM
All right the answer to Talaniman's question is about 3 weeks and yes this is the first time.

Zeeniee, the only way I knew something was up was because one of my best friends is dating her best friend. So I only found out through them. Yea I have made an attempt to talk to her but she won't take it and when we happen to be in the same place at the same time she doesn't even acknowledge Im there.

talaniman
Jan 19, 2009, 12:32 PM
You have tried, and based on her behavior, I leave her alone, as this will giver her time to think without your influence, and let your emotional dust settle.

Don't you think it's a red flag when someone treats someone, like she is treating you?

Of course something is up, and it can't be good. So no pie in the sky, hope for the best, attitude here.

Distance yourself as you prepare, for whatever, or confront her with your fears, and wash your hands of someone who refuses to communicate.

Poseidon934
Jan 19, 2009, 12:45 PM
This girl obviously feels something is wrong, and most likely it is not something you did. I would give her one more chance to tell you if something is wrong and if she doesn't answer then just leave it alone. If she wants to, eventually she will come to you. Most likely this situation is not worth you're time long term anyway since this girl obviously can be immature sometimes and has trouble communicating. Besides, your best chance at getting her back is by just living and having a good time without her. I know I had a similar situation happen to me and I kept pushing her to tell me what was wrong and it didn't help. Sometimes people don't know what is wrong but just need time to figure stuff out. Fair enough, but it's your time to so don't waste too much of it worrying about it.