My first boyfriend cheated on me so bad. He had sex with a girl he met through chat. It broke my heart when I found out on his birthday while having dinner. I tried getting him back by talking to that girl but it never worked. I cried into pieces and realized it was something I couldn't let pass.

My friend introduced me to her boyfriend's friend. I found this guy interesting. So we went out, and dated. In two months time after my first breakup, we were officially together. I was the first girl introduced to his family. Basically, first serious girlfriend. Apparently, this guy doesn't know much when it comes to relationships. I'd have to fight for seeing each other more than twice a month. His parents were strict. So strict that he would have curfews in going out and using the phone than I do wayback in college. Well, even when he started working.

We were so happy and overwhelmed with the relationship we had. I showered him with ultimate romantic surprises that he could never imagine. Because it's his first serious relationship, he could go as worse as having to be taught to open the door for me, get in the cab after me, and a whole lot more likewise. Those were simple coutersies that really disappointed me. But I managed even the worst you could ever imagine. For example, I cut my class to help him get his driving license. We were with their family driver, who was even harassing the people to get the job finished because it's almost lunch break. I had to tell my boyfriend to calmn their driver because it's embarrassing for the fact that we were only asking a favor from MY mom's friend. And then license was done without having to go in line. My boyfriend had to rush because he had an exam, which I understood. We were almost near the intersection where they had to turn left to go to my boyfriend's school, my way going back to school was to turn left. The driver asked me in a way asserting if it was already okay for me to go down at that point. It was 1pm of the heat. I just couldn't accept the fact that it was the driver who made the offer. So I had no choice but go down and walk. Before crossing the street, my boyfriend followed and asked me if I was okay. I just cried mad and asked him what he thinks. On that night we talked over the phone, he insisted that he had an exam and his Dad would get mad. I told him to ask his dad if what happened was just okay, and if his dad could afford to do it to his mom. He went back to the phone crying, and said sorry.

It's always his dad. Though I'd have to understand that he is so sheltered and pampered. But how about our relationship on the future? He was so insensitive with regard to my feelings, courtesies and what has to be done. Or maybe I was just so sensitive in the relationship. His parents would love me and thank me for coming to their son's life.

He finished college before I did. I was the typical girlfriend who would do assignments, projects, and reports, while he sleeps, or go to the gym. I even submitted his resumes for job applications, coach him for interviews, and such. I was just so in-love that when I found out he got hired in one of the call centers in Makati, I went there to have an interview for myself. Fortunately, I got the job. We were scheduled for orientation on the same date. And everything together followed. I overlooked my thesis to work with him. We were just so in-love that we wanted everything done together.

A lot of things happened, fights.. To the point that in involved his family. He was so transparent whenever we have a fight, his family is affected whenever they see him cry. His parents would not like me. On my end, I never told my mom whatever he does, I cry on my own so as to protect his name because I love him so much that I didn't want my family to get mad at him. Even when he pushed me to the street.

A situation triggered our breakup. It was an occasion before his mom should be confined in the hospital for a brain surgery, blood clot. It was apparent that I should wait at a mall so I could go with them to a family affair. Time was just so bad that he could no longer pick me up. So what am I to do? I can't go home alone. I told him to do something, I can't just be left there alone. He said he can't do anything. His dad told him that he can't go anywhere. His dad even talked to me that they are passed where I am. It was just so painful, I went hysterical.

It was just a week after our second year anniversary. We had to breakup. When we saw each other at work, he gave me back our promise ring and said that it could never be us. I cried and said sorry. But what can I do? I was at a mall 3hours away from our place at 7pm. He said he can't do anything, it's his dad. His dad told him to never get back with me. It was a choice he had to make. He told me he cannot fight for me. I called him and sent a text message saying sorry and begging for us to be okay, I told him I'll make the biggest mistake of letting him go. He said
He feels the same way but our relationship will never be welcomed by his family. All was just through a text message. After that, I never heard anything from him. No closure. No whatsoever. I feel I'm left hanging. I don't know what happened.

I still love him. I'm blaming it all to myself. I added to the pressure his family was having when his mom had to undergo a dangerous surgery. After 4 months, he had a girlfriend that I saw through Friendster. It was the month of my birthday. They lasted for only 3 months. And now it's been 8 months since we broke up. I just could not move on. I'm even getting my family's support. But I still love him. I want to get him back. But it's a battle of letting go and holding on. As he has perfectly moved on. I know I should not make any move for it will regret me in the end. For I know that if he really loves me, he should've done something. All's just complicated. How can I get him reach out to me. I really love him.

Hello and welcome on board.

To be honest I found it hard reading through your story and can't figure out the main issue of why you broke up!

But at the end you said 'he has perfectly moved on', so best to move on yourself, you can't change no one.

We had to break up because it was obvious to his parents that he is greatly affected whenevr we fight. He was so into me to a point that his parents think that he loves me more than his parents. They often see their son sad whenever we fight. They think that I can control their son.

I hate it when parents interfere in a couples life.

I mean who isn't greatly affected when u argue with a loved one, its part of the relationship.

His parents are selfish and ignorant too.

Look at it this way, now that you have broken up.
In the long run, it would have been you to suffer the consequences of his parents actions.
I have seen this with my parents, my dads mum was one dominating woman who loved to get in the way of my parents life together. She demanded things, she interfered etc.
It had a HUGE impact on my parents, but luckily they stuck together, only cause my dad was strong enough and chose my mum before his mum, cause if he had done otherwise my parents would have definitley split up.

Thank you.. Though I don't know what's making it hard for me to move one.. Early in the relationship I realized that his parents are not supporting our relationship.. It really sucks! I don't know why it's still him that my heart beats for.. Though, on the brighter side, I'm not as worse as before.. My depression led me to not eating for days.. And I had to consult a doctor.. I know I'll get by.. But it's just taking so long..

To be honest I haven't been through what you are going through. But I've had my fair share of heart aches. I lost 3 family members in a space of 6 months and 1 of them was my daddy, whom I loved and still love and miss so much.
I know it's a different scenario but the pain was there and still is. But as time goes by I learn to suppress it and carry on with life cause that's what my dad would have wanted.

You have to be strong for yourself. Time does heal.

Its been 2 years since his dismiss and my heart is still broken but it piecing itself up which I had to do alone.

Meet friends, hang out, keep yourself busy.

I found talking to a stranger like a physcologist helped me.

Be patient, and work on getting your life together and met new people and make new friends and be glad that chapter in your life is over. Don't look back, Good Luck!

A man (or woman) who comes with automatic inlaw troubles is no bargain. If he isn't capable of managing the balance of loyalties in the simpler stages of a relationship, I can't imagine what it will be like when marriage or children come.

One of the things that helped me to move on in failed relationships was to realise that whatever the problems were, they were very likely to grow. And I was better off with it ended now, rather than later when I had invested so much more of my time, thought, heart and energy into it. Then one day, I got to run into an old ex and all I can say is :eek: and :eek: about the problems growing.

You just may end up finding a wonderful man who doesn't require you to suffer the distain of his parents, and wouldn't that be nice?

He has some serious issues,

First ( first girl friend or not,) common things, like opening a door, the cab and so on are taught at home by the parents from early on, So I would say there are hidden issues there you are missing.

Next a man who has already graduated college that is going to let his parents break up a serious love, has a lot of problems he needs to deal with at home before he should start dating again.

Next honestly you and he should not care if his parents like you are not, sorry but a fact of life, my wife and I were married for 5 years before my mom and dad even meet my wife, We were married almost 7 months before they knew I married her.

I made a choice that my wife was to be more important to me, a real choice and that is how it is. ( and should be)

If he is out of college, he needs to be getting a job,moving out of mom and dads house and living his own life, and making his own choices, until then, he will never be a good catch.

I would talk to him seriously, this is his issues, not yours, and you need to make him decide, not you decideing for him.

He is just so sheltered and couldn't decide for his own.. It's his birthday on the 27th.. Should I greet him? Though he didn't greet me on my birthday. Instead, he got a new girlfriend on the month of my birthday. Which crcked me into pieces..

Are you crazy. Ignore him for the rest of his life. You can't change this idiot, so purge him from your memory and don't mess with guys like this.

You have problems of your own, don't add more to your life, decrease them not increase them.
Concentrate on your mature self not on an immature mummy boy!
Leave him be, you don't need him.

For his birthday I would go out with my girlie friends and celebrate your freedom :D

Hi dear. All the advice here is great and I also feel that you should not contact him again.

You gave up a lot and helped him advance for his future - invested way too much to get shunned by his parents or him, for that matter. Don't make any man the 'center' of your life, now or in the future. Think of all the time you wasted on him, and get mad at yourself for doing so.

We women have a tendency to want to give our all - and wind up with next to nothing for our effort or our own happiness. Being a 'Japanese Brat', you probably was raised with the idea that 'man comes first' and then there's you. Not in today's society - not in any country. The Japanese culture has so many wonderful things to offer: family unity, loyalty, respect, and a lot more. I really enjoyed my three years there.

But getting back to you - when you have met the right man, "share" your intelligence, knowledge and zealous goals and aspirations, but never give yourself up. This is what you did for him, and he did not appreciate it the way you deserve.

Any other man would have been proud of you and all your sacrifices and would still be at your side now.

So, take time to get over him and heal, then go out and party.. enjoy your youth and be glad that you're not in bed with "those three". You deserve better.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm801YYDE) P.S. If he's 'part' Japanese too, then you know you have no chance with him or his parents - it's way too late for him to change.

*sigh* I should be empowered by all of your posts.. I'm just so thankful for you guys..

You are welcome :)