PDA

View Full Version : We made a connection but.


babyblueberry
Dec 31, 2008, 10:03 AM
Hey everyone!
This past Monday I went on my first date with this guy who I've had my eye on for quite sometime. It went really well and we shared common interests, and spoke throughout the whole four hours we were together.

My question is... I texted him today, Wednesday, and said how much of a great time I had and we should do it again. The problem is, he texted back saying he's free whenever and that I should let him know when to hang out again. I feel like I'm chasing after him more than he is for me.
Am I just over thinking things?
What should I do exactly to make it not seem like I'm not desperate or clingy? :confused::confused::confused:

Ber Rabbit
Dec 31, 2008, 10:42 AM
I dated a guy who started the relationship similar to the way yours is. He told me up front he was not good at getting "hints" and asked me to tell him when it was OK to start things like holding hands, kissing, etc. I figured he was bluffing, we hung out together for 11 months and he didn't so much as attempt to hold my hand. I had met him in a bar so it took me that long to trust him. It was 11 months to the day when I reached over and touched his hand to hold it. I initiated the first kiss as well. Once things had been initiated he was very affectionate and we dated for almost 2 years before he broke up with me. I scared him off talking about marriage while we were in college. He really was a great guy, probably one of the most honest and dedicated men I've ever met.

Clingy is when you're constantly texting and begging him to go out with you. A simple "Hey, I'm free _____ lets do something" once or twice a week is neither chasing nor being clingy.
Ber

talaniman
Dec 31, 2008, 11:02 AM
I think its so important in the early stages of dating, to keep your life balanced enough, where you don't have to count on someone else to have a good time.

Nothing wrong with inviting someone out once, but not you making all the moves. Thats no fun at all.

So don't invest all your interests, and time into someone that can't carry there end.

magikman
Dec 31, 2008, 12:45 PM
Tough call at this point babyblue... Maybe he doesn't have the confidence to ask you out again, or is playing games, or just isn't that into you. It could be a multitude of things, or it could mean nothing. (I know, what an ambiguous answer!)

Having been on both sides of this situation in the past, I'd say give it a shot. If you want to see him again, I see nothing wrong with biting the bullet and casually asking him out. If he continues to be wishy-washy after that, then you need to ask yourself if this is something you want to deal with. Good luck!

babyblueberry
Dec 31, 2008, 01:35 PM
Thank You so much for your advice! It's a tough situation and I'm not sure what to do.

talaniman
Dec 31, 2008, 02:29 PM
If you don't know what to do, do nothing. Until you do know.