Good evening,

First of all, English is not my mother language (French is) so feel free to correct anything wrongly expressed - tks.

I'm 23 (man) - she's 38. We work in the same company in Paris. We're both single.

We have known each other for about two years now and have been doing stuff together for the past 8 months. Our main activity since the first time we did something out of work together, consists in going out for diner and then watch a movie in a theater. From time to time we do other stuff too (long walks in the city, watch a play, spend the day together doing all kinds of things,. ).

It has been 3 months now since I first started to have feelings for her (not friendship wise) and I still haven't told her a word about this.

I haven't said anything yet because :
- we work together,
- I don't want this to end,
- she's 15 years older than me and wants to settle down (I can't possibly think of having kids already).

It's getting more and more painful to think about her all the time without being in a relationship with her.

I don't really know what to do.

Thanks in advance for your wise advices!

First of all, your English is pretty good, so I applaud you for that. I have seen people whose native language is English do a worse job typing than you have.

Secondly, I see nothing wrong with what is going on here. Some of the best romances blossom out of incredible friendships. Does she have any feelings for you? Also, I am not sure that just because you don't see yourself having kids right now, you can't be with her. Of course she is feeling the biological clock ticking, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't be open to a relationship with you. It's not like she would be in a rush to have children and get married to the first guy she meets. All relationships take time to develop, and with a strong foundation, like the one you two have, it provides a healthy platform for success.

The age difference could be a problem for her - especially because of the baby issue. You don't want to overwhelm her by coming on too strong. That could change your relationship forever. Do you know if she dates much? Does she ever discuss other guys with you?

I think you should find a way to approach the subject. Something subtle. Next time you make plans for dinner, pick a restaurant that has a reputation as being romantic. See how she reacts to that.

The age difference could be a problem for her - especially because of the baby issue. You don't want to overwhelm her by coming on too strong. That could change your relationship forever. Do you know if she dates much? Does she ever discuss other guys with you?

I think you should find a way to approach the subject. Something subtle. Next time you make plans for dinner, pick a restaurant that has a reputation as being romantic. See how she reacts to that.

I had to spread the rep, but that's a good idea for sure.

Thanks for your feedbacks.

I know that she doesn't date much as we spend a lot of time together. I have never known her with someone else. We spoke once or twice about other guys in the frame of the kind of relationship she is looking for. Basically she explained that she wants to settle down.

So I can't say I never approach the subject 'relationship', I just never discussed 'relationship with me'. I'll try what you're suggesting, propose a romantic place (well we have already eaten in such a place - last Saterday) and then have the guts to talk to her about this but in subtle way (hardest thing to do I guess... ).

Any idea of how to introduce the subject?

(I know I'm lame at such things ;o)

You're not lame - it's takes a lot of courage to act on this, especially with a friend. Maybe you could ask if she has ever thought about being with you...

Give her a single red rose, and tell her your starting to really care about her.

Simple, straight, and honest.

Do you see each other at work a lot? Just asking because if this doesn't work, then working with a person that has rejected you is tough, and the relationship may change for the worse.

If she is worth it take a risk.