My daughter and her husband live with us. They have 2 daughters ages 6 months and 18 months who share a room with them. I overheard them having sex this afternoon while their 18 month old daughter was lying in her crib awake. I know she was awake because I heard her talking while the bed making bouncing noises associated with sex was going on. This is a small room and one end of her crib touches their bed. The ends of her crib are not solid but have bars instead which means she can see them and they can see her. I confronted my daughter about this and she admitted her daughter was awake but was not looking at them. While that may be true, she can still hear. My concern is for my granddaughters. Is it illegal for them to have sex while she and/or her younger sister is in the room? I would think at the very least it is not the right thing to do.

Obviously it's probably not a positive thing for the child. However, I seriously doubt they're any laws against it. Such a law would be intrusive to families. I'm sure you could talk to a social worker if you are that concerned. However, I wouldn't suggest it as a first step. I'd talk to your daughter and her husband about it first.

I saw a similar question asked in here and a Christian expert said that in most states there are laws against it. I have confronted my daughter about it and she got upset. I was using the toilet at the time and I couldn't help but hear them. I realize that as married people that they have a right to have sex, but that they should not be doing it with their children in the room. I'm really surprised it didn't kill the mood for both of them. That would have done it for me.

I don't know what that expert said, but no, there are no laws against this. One might stretch this as an endangerment to the welfar of a child, but it would be a stretch.

And how is anyone going to know about it? You going to turn your daughter in? The only way this would become an issue is if its part of a pattern of neglect of the children.

I would try to turn this around. I would assume your daughter and her family are experiencing hard times that have resulted in them moving in with you and sharing a room. So I would make some offers to watch your grandchildren so they can have some alone time. I would also see what can be done to expand the living quarters or maybe get some screens to separate the kids part of the room.

Your daughter and her husband are entitled to physical intimacy. Especially if they are experiencing some hard times. Forcing them to be chaste will just put an additional strain on their marriage.

This room is small and there is no room for dividers. Adding on to the house is not an option as we are low income ourselves. Their bedrom is right next to the bathroom as is my bedroom and they can't help but be heard when someone goes in the bathroom whether it's to use the toilet or whatever. I don't have a problem with them having sex, but they need to do it at a time when no one is up or no one is home and moving around in the house; I sure don't want to hear it. If I have to go to the bathroom real bad, I am certainly not going to wait until they are done to do so. I could watch them, but I do more than the average grandparent does in the way of babysitting and doing things for my grandbabies, a lot more. Whatever happened to my house, my rules? I will not have them corrupting my granddaughters. I honestly don't see how they could be in the mood for sex with one of their babies in there anyway. That sure would kill the mood for me.

I notice you didn't give any explanation as to why they are living with you.

I'm sure you are a helping and concerned grandmother. But I do believe you are making way too much of this. I seriously doubt that they are close to corrupting your granddaughters.

While I agree with the my house, my rules sentiment, rules, in such a situation need to be tempered with common sense.

My son-in-law lost his full time lumberyard job at the end of July and 2 months later they were kicked out of their apartment. He is now working nights at the local Walmart, 28 hours a week which is not enough for them to afford their own place. It's not just my granddaughters that I don't want exposed to that. I don't want to hear it, either, and if I have to go to the bathroom, I am going to go. They have a right to have sex, but their timing is lousy. Common sense should tell them that having sex during the day is not a good idea when there are not only their babies here, but 3 other people as well- me, my hubby and my 30 year old autistic son. It's not fair for us to have to restrict ourselves to the front part of the house while they are doing the deed. You are not answering my question. How can they be in the mood for sex with their kids in the room? It would be a mood killer. I am not making too much out of this. My hubby also agrees that they shouldn't be having sex with their babies in the room.

My son-in-law l...is now working nights at the local Walmart, 28 hours a week . . . Common sense should tell them that having sex during the day is not a good idea when there are not only their babies here, but 3 other people as well- me, my hubby and my 30 year old autistic son.

How can they be in the mood for sex with their kids in the room? It would be a mood killer. I am not making too much out of this. My hubby also agrees that they shouldn't be having sex with their babies in the room.

To answer your question, people have been having sex in the same room with small children for thousands of years. It's doesn't really require much explanation. If both parties are motivated, they just do it. It's possible that your daughter is inhibited but giving into your son in law. You'd have to ask her. But that's not really at issue. What is going on inside their heads isn't really your business at this point. I don't think the 18 month old is even going to remember this when she is older and it will only be a big deal to the extent you make it one.

What I want to ask you is, if the son is working nights and you don't want him and your daughter to have sex during the day, what hours when he is home would be acceptable to you? Obviously, they can't have sex at night if he is not there. So what hours would work for everyone? If you can name some reasonable amount of time and then give them some privacy during those hours, wouldn't that satisfy everyone's needs? When is he home when you can tolerate the thought of them having sex?

I do not think they are harming the children - they are very young and will not remember. The good news is that through all their problems, your daughter and her husband still hava a healthy, loving relationship.

I understand the concept of your house, your rules. But I think you are over reacting to the situation. They are married adults. Do you think that in all her years in your house she never heard you and your husband?

Personally, I'd think that treating it like it was a good thing if a child sees it rather than a traumatic "OH MY GOD!" thing would give a child a healthier attitude towards sex.

Sounds to me like your issue isn't the kids seeing it, it's YOU having to hear it.

My son-in-law works Wed. Thurs. Fri. an Sat. and has Sun. Mon. and Tues. off. My daughter may have heard us having sex at some point, but we never did it with her in the room and usually if we heard anyone near our door we would stop what we were doing until they left the area. We used to live in Michigan and would come down here every summer to visit. My son slept on the couch and me, my hubby and I would sleep in my younger sister's old room as my old room was otherwise occupied. He and I tried some quiet sex play while our daughter slept nearby, and I just couldn't get aroused no matter what he did, and yes, we were quiet. You may think I am making too much out of this, but I am entitled to my opinions and feelings. No one has the right to tell me how to think and feel. I am done with this issue and am moving on.

You may think I am making too much out of this, but I am entitled to my opinions and feelings. No one has the right to tell me how to think and feel. I am done with this issue and am moving on.

Yes you are entitled to your opinions and feelings. But rememer YOU opened this issue, you asked the question. If you weren't interested in the advice of others or weren't going to listen then why ask the question?

I'll answer my own question here. Your reaction is typical of what we often see here. People ask a question expecting to get backup and affirmation of their opinions. When they don't get, they react pretty much as you have reacted.

The fact is the reaction you got is that YOU seem to be the problem here and that, at the least, your reaction to the situation was over the top. You have the right to ignore the advice but you do so on your own.

You are certainly entitled to your feelings and opinions... since it is your home, and it bothers you, tell them so.
Just as you have your feelings, so do they however and they obviously don't mesh with yours in regard to how someone could want to have sex with a small child in the room. It won't emotionally harm your granddaughters however, so you don't have to worry in that regard.

You live in a small house and you are sensitive on this issue. Propose that they try to confine themselves to "dates" on Sunday and Tuesday evenings, when you will let the kids sleep with you at the other end of the house. Ask them if they need to do it at other times, they be extremely quiet and stop when you are using the bathroom. That's the best compromise I can think of. But you need to communicate with both of them about this and let them offer their side. Listen to them as you would want to be heard and think before you object to whatever they say. The key here is communication.

This is not a legal or moral issue. It's a matter of taste and sensitivity and respect--on both sides.

I don't believe my reaction is over the top. My daughter and son-in-law need to respect our feelings on such matters. We are willing to meet them half way on things, but it can't be all their way all the time. This is our house, and I repeat, our house, our rules. May I suggest that you contact fr_chuck on here. He is the Christian expert who said that it is illegal. He didn't answer my question, but he answered a question similar to mine. I suggest you read the question pink4life252 asked and read the answers not only fr_chuck supplied but others as well. I am not the only person in this world who feels like I do.

My son-in-law works Wed., Thurs. Fri. an Sat. and has Sun., Mon., and Tues. off. My daughter may have heard us having sex at some point, but we never did it with her in the room and usually if we heard anyone near our door we would stop what we were doing until they left the area. We used to live in Michigan and would come down here every summer to visit. My son slept on the couch and me, my hubby and I would sleep in my younger sister's old room as my old room was otherwise occupied. He and I tried some quiet sex play while our daughter slept nearby, and I just couldn't get aroused no matter what he did, and yes, we were quiet. You may think I am making too much out of this, but I am entitled to my opinions and feelings. No one has the right to tell me how to think and feel. I am done with this issue and am moving on.

You asked for our opinions and we gave them. I'm sure you meant to thank us for taking the time to help. Your welcome.

Thank you for your answer. There is no way the kids can sleep anywhere in the house other than where they are. There are only 3 bedrooms in this house- the one where they and their parents sleep, mine and my hubby's room and my son's room, that's it. I don't know what else to do other than maybe to take them and our son for a car ride once a week so they can have some alone time or to stay in the livingroom for a short period a couple times a week on his days off.

I believe they should avoid doing it once she turns 2 years old. Anyway, this is normal in other parts of the world as well. But wise parents quit doing it before their children before they acquire a sense / realization of these kind of activities.

Besides, it's also not right to 'overhear' what's happening in your daughter's room with her husband - respect their privacy as well. And if you don't like them having sex in your home ask you wife to inform your daughter.

They'll be careful.

The brain structures that make long term memories form at around age two. Not that children can't learn earlier, but it's not memories of specific events.

I was on the toilet tending to some very urgent business, something I could not wait to do. Our walls are thin and I couldn't help but hear what was going on. I was not straining to hear. I could hear it loud and clear.

Well I'm married. Yes me and my husband have a healthy relationship. Part of that relationship, being marriage, is sex. I only think it's about 5-10% of it. But your daughter is married. Maybe this is something you need to comprise on with them. Give them a set time that they can have marital activities without you having to hear it.

If you are offended by them having martial relation in front of your grandchild... Why not offer to take her to the park and give them some time to have those marital relations.

If you are offended by it occurring with you in the house (which trust me I understand why you prefer not to... Once upon a time I heard my father in law and I rather of not) Since he does work nights maybe figure out a way for you and her to work out a system where if it's possible you can get out of the house. Not where she forces you out but lets you know a good while in advance. Or give them a few hours alone (like a set time for if they want to without you hearing them)

In Texas there are too many rednecks for that law

But if it were you and your spouse or her in laws, and you 2 were having marital relations, you would probably feel a little violated by them hearing you.

Just look at the situation in reverse, like did your daughter ever walk in on you when you thought she was sleeping? Or what if she came home earlier than you planned and she heard you and you didn't know it.

It's a healthy natural act that most married couples that love each other do. Which depending on age, drive and a number of different factors the amount but still

It's too cold this time of year to take her to the park. She also has a 6 month old sister, and there is the matter of my 30 year old autistic son. A few hours is a bit much for them to be having sex at home. We have babysat them here when they have gone to the movies.

Like I said I live in Texas... It's about 70 degrees here. But I'm sure there's the movies or something.

Yes a few hours is a bit much but I'll leave you and your judgement to set the times and activities. You are a very smart person and you know your situation better

She has never ever walked in on us having sex and anytime we did and heard someone close by we stopped what we were doing. We don't have sex anymore anyway as my hubby has ED due to diabetes. I did not purposely put my ear to the door and listen to what was going on in there. As I stated before, I was on the toilet tending to some urgent business that couldn't wait. Our walls are thin and I couldn't help but hear. My hubby and I always had sex at night and we were very careful about the noise we made. The few times we had sex during the day it was always when our kids were at school and my hubby was working the second shift.

Neither did I with my father in law... it happens

And she probably did try to be careful and didn't you heard her

He works at night and night shift throw things off a bit

Didn't know*

Sorry bad typing

Trust me my father in law is pretty much thought I was asleep and forgot I was in the military...

I wake up at for a.m. and do push ups and sit ups... it's my job and my rank in is private.. I'm a 68w (medic)

And because I wake up so early... me and my husband when I'm on leave and I can see him do have some sort of marital relations. But after waking up that early it's more in the afternoon. My father in law is at work and yes we do have to be in your situation some of the time where it's 2 families of not the highest income and yea it's hard.

Me and my husband don't get to have marital relations often because he can't live with me right now but that will change.

I don't believe my reaction is over the top. My daughter and son-in-law need to respect our feelings on such matters. We are willing to meet them half way on things, but it can't be all their way all the time. This is our house, and I repeat, our house, our rules. May I suggest that you contact fr_chuck on here. He is the Christian expert who said that it is illegal. He didn't answer my question, but he answered a question similar to mine. I suggest you read the question pink4life252 asked and read the answers not only fr_chuck supplied but others as well. I am not the only person in this world who feels like I do.
What would you suggest they do?

The problems (did I mention all of them?) --
1. It's a small, crowded house
2. The children sleep in the same small bedroom as your daughter and her husband.
3. Your son-in-law works nights.
4. Your daughter and son-in-law are home together during the day.
5. Nearly everyone else is home during the day.
6. Sound carries easily in the house.
7. It's too cold to take the children outdoors during the day.
8. There's your autistic son to consider.
9. There is little privacy for anyone in the small house.
10. Money is in short supply for motel room or any alternate private place.

All that makes for a tough situation, doesn't it. I wouldn't expect a young, healthy couple to refrain from sex for very long, even under those conditions.

At one of the offices where I did counseling, the walls were thin, and clients did not always discuss problems rationally and quietly, so we set up white noise makers outside each door during sessions. If your grandchildren are that small and close together, your daughter and her husband must enjoy their sex life--and probably, like any young couple, can get in the mood pretty quickly. In your situation, a noise maker could be put inside the couple's bedroom, near the wall that adjoins the bathroom, or one could be set up in the bathroom and turned on when necessary.

As for their children watching--as children get older, they know their parents have sex. The children don't know completely what happens, but it can be reframed as a loving activity (some kids say mom and dad "wrestle" at night). We adult children don't even like to think of our aging parents (and even our aging children) indulging in such a thing as sex, but my three sibs and I have finally accepted the fact that our parents had sex at least four times during their 50-year marriage.

I agree with you Lioness... for the time being, I think you need to clean out your bedroom somewhat and put the children's bed in your bedroom for them. It is your house, your rules!!

Also, I think it is a mistake for you to be angry about this when you confront your daughter. Just be matter of fact. It is your house!! Your rules.

You may get much farther if you talk calmly to your son in law(daughter at store)... ask him how he thinks this problem can be solved. My mother in law always had much more success dealing with me than dealing with her son.

They need to get out of your house as soon as possible. Think of that day. :)

Good Luck!

I agree with you Lioness. Your house, your rules. As I said in another question, have a calm talk with your son in law and ask him for ideas on how to solve this *temporary*problem. IF your husband is a good guy, he can solve this temporary problem by having a talk with the son in law.

I think you have to cool off; anger is making this temporary problem grow.

Best wishes to you,

Are we positive this is illegal? I've seen no proof of this being illegal.

I was not angry when I brought this up with my daughter. She was the one who blew up. There is not enough room in our room for even one baby crib let alone two even if we did clean it out and the youngest has problems sleeping and I don't want my hubby's sleep to be disturbed. He is nearly 10 years older than me and is not in good health. I wish that we had a fourth bedroom for the babies. I don't want them sleeping in our room anyway. It's not my place to have to get up with either one of them during the night. I raised my kids, it's time for my daughter and her hubby to raise theirs. You have a good idea about me talking to my son-in-law and I just might do that. You are the only one who has agreed with me and I thank you. Yes they will be getting their own place as soon as he can find a full time job. Right now he is only working 28-29 hours a week at Walmart and that is not enough to support a family on and pay rent. They stand to get a good amount on their next income tax refund and a good amount on their next stimulus check if that goes through. I love my granddaughters, but I need a break every now and then from them and I am not getting that. I am 51 and my hubby is 61, by the way.

I was on the toilet tending to some very urgent business, something I could not wait to do. Our walls are thin and I couldn't help but hear what was going on. I was not straining to hear. I could hear it loud and clear.
Perhaps they become annoyed about or uncomfortable at bathroom noises that they have to listen to when in bed or in their bedroom? -- shower, running water, blow dryer, toilet use and flushing, electric toothbrushing. It works both ways.

You have a good idea about me talking to my son-in-law and I just might do that.

I don't think that's a good idea at all. I don't know what your relationship is with your son-in-law, but unless it's a very good one, talking directly to him will probably exacerbate the situation.


You are the only one who has agreed with me and I thank you.

I think that should tell you something, but apparently it won't. Like I said you weren't looking for advice but validation of your own feelings.

I needed to use the toilet, what was I supposed to do, go in my underwear? I didn't know that they were having sex until I was already on the toilet. Besides, this is my house, and my rules apply here, not theirs. Are we not ever to use the bathroom when they are in their room? This si our house, not theirs. The bathroom is next door to our room, too and we hear the same noises in there that they do. The bathroom is in between the two rooms. I'm getting tired of being ganged up on. I have received more than enough replies. No more, please. If anymore are sent, I will not reply.

I was just commenting that the walls are thin for them too.

I live in an 800-sq ft, 2-bedroom and one-bathroom house with two other adults, one autistic. I wasn't being against you, since I know how small my house is so can imagine yours, but was just trying to imagine all possibilities.

I'm guessing they want out of your house as much as you want them out.

My daughter said that she did not hear me in there as they had the radio on. I would have thought she could have heard the toilet flush, though. My son is autistic, too.

My daughter said that she did not hear me in there as they had the radio on. I would have thought she could have heard the toilet flush, though. My son is autistic, too.
You and I both hope this is a short-term problem with them living there. Did you read my post in your other thread, where I mentioned white noise machines?

I remember my family of four staying for two weeks with my grandparents and uncle in their 800-sq ft house, one bath, two bedrooms. I slept on an old couch on the sunporch, my parents slept on the living room hide-a-bed with the baby's crib scrunched in a corner, my little brother slept in the recliner, we had to have a strict schedule for the bathroom, my mom cleaned up at the washtubs in the basement in order to free up the bathroom a bit, and mealtimes were a scream. Ask me, and I will tell you stories.

***ADDED -- Forgot to mention, we always stayed there in July when my dad could take a vacation from his job as minister 650 miles away. Do you want me to tell you how hot and humid it gets in July in Chicago? And this was in the '40s and '50s with no ac.

Lioness, I am considered the Jobs Expert here, so if your son-in-law needs help with a resume or job hunting, please let me know. I've helped people with that sort of thing since 1985

He does have a job, but it's only 28 hours a week. We live in Litchfield, IL. Not sure if you can help him considering where we live. Not sure if we can give out email addresses on here.

He does have a job, but it's only 28 hours a week. We live in Litchfield, IL. Not sure if you can help him considering where we live. Not sure if we can give out email addresses on here.
What is his usual occupation? Does he have special skills? More than a h.s. diploma?

It's not the best time to be job hunting with too many people losing jobs every day. I know where Litchfield is, and will Google a bit for you and even make some calls after I find out more about his skill level and job requirements. Don't post your email address here.

>threads merged<

At 18 months for the oldest the kids neither have a clue what sex is... nor will they remember any of it by the time they do have a clue. Now if they were years older that would be totally different.

She may not know what sex is, but it is inappropriate for them to be having sex in the same room with her awake or asleep. I have gotten a lot of responses and you were not the first one to tell me this. Please remember this is my house, my rules. Enough on this subject.

Are you asking to have the thread closed?

I will not do so if you are just going to start another thread along the same vein on another board. That's just silly.

If you don't like the advice you're getting, I'm sorry. What YOU feel is appropriate and what some of the rest of us feel to be appropriate are two different things.

Yes, it's your house, so your rules.

Just remember that when you don't see your grandchildren because your daughter won't bring them to see you at YOUR house because of YOUR rules (after they're on their own again, of course)---and because of the hard feelings this will cause.

And don't feel at all surprised when the rules at THEIR house include you not influencing their children.

You've drawn a hard line---and if you aren't flexible, you're going to feel the consequences of taking a hard line in the long run.

However---if you really want this thread closed, please let me know. I will close it.

I will, however, not condone you starting another thread on the subject elsewhere on these boards.

I just want people to leave me alone on this. I've received enough replies, thank you. It looks like you don't think I should have a say about things in my own house. When they get their own house, they can do as they please and even though I may not agree with some of their rules, I will respect them just as I expect them to respect my rules while they are here. I am not saying they can't have sex, I just expect them to exercise good judgement when doing so and having sex while their kids are in the room whether awake or asleep is not good judgement. Just as you folks are entitled to your opinions, I am entitled to mine. How can you end the thread on this and not allow me to start another thread on the same subject? Are you the moderator on here or something? What happened to freedom of speech? Am I not entitled to that like everyone else is? I am 51 years old and I have been a mother for almost 31 years. Please do not treat me like I am a dummy. I did not come here for advice. I just wanted to know if anyone else on here felt the same as I did. I did not ask to be ganged up on and told what to do in my own home. I will not be saying anything more on this as I have had enough. Thank you for letting me have my say. I know what I am going to do about this situation here at home.

Thank you for letting me have my say. I know what I am going to do about this situation here at home.
Yes, Synnen is a moderator.

Are you saying you don't want my help with finding a job for your son-in-law? His finding a second job or a good full-time one will solve your problem.

It's not that I don't think you should have a say in your own house.

I just think that if you're asking THEM to be celibate, you'd better be willing to be so yourself. There is really NO time for them to have sex from what you've said here. I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty ticked off if someone told me what I could or could not do in my marriage bed. Yes, it's your house, but it's THEIR kid.

Either way--I'm not sure, still, whether you want the thread closed.

If you don't want any more replies, the only way to have that is to close the thread.

If you only want to hear from people who support you on this, I suggest you talk to your friends, because you will get people on BOTH sides of the issue here.

I just want people to leave me alone on this. I've received enough replies, thank you. It looks like you don't think I should have a say about things in my own house. When they get their own house, they can do as they please and even though I may not agree with some of their rules, I will respect them just as I expect them to respect my rules while they are here. I am not saying they can't have sex, I just expect them to exercise good judgement when doing so and having sex while their kids are in the room whether awake or asleep is not good judgement. Just as you folks are entitled to your opinions, I am entitled to mine. How can you end the thread on this and not allow me to start another thread on the same subject? Are you the moderator on here or something? What happened to freedom of speech? Am I not entitled to that like everyone else is? I am 51 years old and I have been a mother for almost 31 years. Please do not treat me like I am a dummy. I did not come here for advice. I just wanted to know if anyone else on here felt the same as I did. I did not ask to be ganged up on and told what to do in my own home. I will not be saying anything more on this as I have had enough. Thank you for letting me have my say. I know what I am going to do about this situation here at home.


Lioness, you answered your own questions. In your original post you asked if it was illegal... no it is not. You felt it was, at the very least, inappropriate... for many people it would be, but given the children's ages the point was made that from a developmental standpoint, they are not in any emotional danger, so others would not be concerned.

However, from your comfort level it is inappropriate... fair enough, then say something to them if you want to... tell them exactly what you have just posted if you feel that will make a difference in the situation... offer to watch the kids once in awhile so they can have some time alone, whatever you think would help you to be more comfortable. At the very least, you would have made them fully aware of how you feel on the matter. You have two choices that have been suggested to you... speak up or ignore it... the choice is yours.

Yes, wondergirl, I do want your help on this matter. Any help getting my son-in-law a new job with better pay and more hours would be appreciated. It was not me who said it was illegal. Fr_chuck, an expert on this web site said that in a post made by another person, pink4life252. I suggest that you contact fr_chuck who is a Christian expert here that it is illegal.

How old is your daughter ?

Not intending to be confrontational here, but if you weren't interested in hearing the opinions of others then why did you post the question, not once but more than once? As was mentioned if you want only answers supporting your belief, only talk to friends the believe the same way you do. If you want unbiased opinions we are good for that here.


I sense a major attitude here. It would be wise to entertain the ideas of others. Look what happened to Brittney Spears, surrounding yourself with only those who agree with you has major downfalls.

Maybe I'm offbase here, but you say you and your husband don't have sex anymore. Does this factor into your situation at all? Does the fact that your daughter and her husband have sex remind you that you and your husband don't? I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to determine if there are other reasons you are so upset about this.

Yes, wondergirl, i do want your help on this matter. Any help getting my son-in-law a new job with better pay and more hours would be appreciated. It was not me who said it was illegal. Fr_chuck, an expert on this web site said that in a post made by another person, pink4life252. I suggest that you contact fr_chuck who is a Christian expert here that it is illegal.

You may need to go back and read that thread again because fr_chuck never knew the age pink4life252 was referring about and they never responded back with the age. He also said they would have a problem with social services as did others have suggested given a certain age. I see no type of neglect the kids are being subject to but in the coming months they should refrain from this activity in front of the 18 month old. As parents you knew what to expect from two married adults( one being your daughter) moving into your house or even if they just stayed a few nights. If you would have laid ground rules before they came and they didn't comply that's a different story, but it seems you didn't.

The fact that my hubby and I don't have sex anymore has nothing to do with the situation here at my house. I just don't think it's a good idea for them to have sex with their babies in the room. It is an exercise in poor judgement on their part. I can't believe that there are people here who think it's OK. Would any of you feel comfortable having sex with your babies in the room?

My husband and I don't have any babies yet so I can't really answer that, but we have two extra bedrooms in our house, so it won't be an issue when we do have babies

I think it went to your email address. Check that.

The PM feature isn't activated for new members.

With out asking them how do you know that they didn't put a sheet up to cover the bars for the child to see! Maybe offer to sit with the kids if they need some "alone" time! It will be worse if they din't feel that way about one another and be arguing! But I understand what you are feeling

Thank you for quoting me, but as I remember I have never posted to this thread.

I will relate GA law on the issue.

In GA it would be illegal to curse in front of a minor child even.

If you have sexual conduct or even show your body parts to a child, this can be considered a crime.

Now there are excepts, changing of clothes in a public bathing facility.
And I would assume changing clothes at home

But sexual conduct, even if it does not involve the child is a listed offense. I have never know it to be inforced in the state for in the home of the parents but are grounds used by DCFS ( children's services) for child abuse and neglect. And for custody hearings in court.

While for a very young child, I am sure it is done often, and I am sure it is done with blankets covering many times more than people will admit.

In the end, If it was my home and I did not like it, I would have it easy, my way or the highway, as the owner of the home, tell them in YOUR house that is not the way it is done.

Fr_Chuck: They did not cover the end of her crib facing their bed. They do not have blankets large enough to do that for one thing, and my daughter admitted to me that her 18 month old was not even looking at them, which told me that the end of her crib was not covered. Even though she did not look, she still has ears and can hear. Myself, having one of my kids in the room would definitely kill the mood for sex. My daughter did get mad at me for saying what I did, but they used poor judgement and I let her know that. I am glad that you agree with me that this is my home and that what they did is not the way things are done here. Most people on here have disagreed with me. I do a lot of things for the them and the babies, a lot more than most gramdmothers would do. I was raised to believe that when you have kids you don't always get to do what you want to do when you want to do it. I sure didn't raising my kids. This is the point I was trying to get across to others on here. I do give them some alone time, but they are not satisfied with what time I give them. I have things of my own to do and can't always help them out. It is not only stressful for them living here, but it is stressful for me as well and I need some alone time as well and don't always get it when I need it. Thank you for responding Fr Chuck.

While I'm not disagreeing with Chuck, I'd have to see the wording of the statute to see how it would apply.

But I certainly doubt is a prosecutor would take the case. One of the things people fail to understand about our legal system is that a large portion of reported crimes never get prosecuted. This is because the prosecutors office has to decide where to put its limited resources. So there is a prioritization and many crimes get dropped because there is not enough of a case or the crime is too minor.

Basic simple thing here is they are responsible for raising their own kids. You may not like or agree with some things. Odds are few people ever completely agree on that even in the same family.

THere are idiots out there that think its perfectly fine for a 5 or 6 year old to still be nursing. Now for example I think that's just plain sick because those kids are plenty old enough. Not like kids that aren't even two years old yet. Who were not being given a free show. I knew one woman who's son still slept with her every night STILL at 4 years old. Now that's wrong as well, but its her kid. I don't know if or when it stopped as she is no longer in my circle of friends.

If what they are doing is so grievous its dangerous to the kids in some manner then call the authorities... otherwise let them raise their own kids.

Smoothy, I am done on this issue. The problem has been taken care of. Yes I do agree with what you said in this message.

Trust me I get caught in the Middle of my Mom and my adult brother all the time. Both are strong willed. We all are. Thus this sort of conflict. Its because we all care about others.

Hello lioness:

I been reading here... I thought you was done yesterday... I guess you like arguing... But, I'm glad you're still hanging around, so I TOO can tell you that you're wrong.

You keep on saying that she's your daughter and this is YOUR house so you can set the rules... But, you can't. I know, you don't like that... But, it's true.

In terms of the LAW, your daughter and her family are TENANTS, and as such, are protected by your states landlord tenant law. That gives them a WHOLE lot of rights, including requiring YOU to give them notice when you enter THEIR room...

I wish THEY were our clients, instead of you. I'd tell them how to retaliate against you for, not only being a lousy mom, but being a lousy landlord.

excon

excon-They are not paying rent in this house, and yes this is my house. The problem has been resolved. You don't know me so you don't know how I am as a parent/grandparent. I do all kinds of things for my daughter and my granddaughters. I made sure those babies had a Christmas. I change diapers, I babysit, I give baths, etc. I am a good mother. You were not there when I was raising my kids so you have no right calling me a lousy mother. I took good care of my kids- fed them, clothed them, got up with them during the night, I stood up for them when others ridiculed them. Yes, they are tenants of a sort, but they are not paying rent, and my husband and I as landlords have rights, too. If I feel that they are treating their kids wrong, I will speak up and tell them so. I do love those little girls very much. There are people who would disagree with you about your perception of me. You don't know me and you have not walked a mile in my shoes. No one but God has a right to judge me. I only keep on because I am provoked from the likes of you. FR_Chuck agrees with me about the my house my rules thing. I will not have my daughter and her hubby telling me what to do in my own home. Yes, it is their place to raise those girls, but that does not give them the right to walk all over me like a doormat and tell me what to do and when to do it. By the way, why are you an ex-con?

They are not paying rent in this house, and yes this is my house.... By the way, why are you an ex-con?Hello again, lioness:

Do they receive MAIL at your house?? They DO?? They're TENANTS.

I don't care that you changed their diapers when they were little. THAT'S what parents are SUPPOSED to do. It doesn't give you license to run their lives TODAY. It's your behavior, and your words TODAY that I'm judging you by.

Why am I an excon?? I broke the law. Are you looking for a reason to judge me?? Have at it.

excon

Not much to say that hasn't been said. Of course, it probably isn't the best thing to have sex while your child watches. (keep in mind the child is an infant and won't remember) also it sounds like you don't need advice, any advice that was given to you from the last 6-7 posters you just fired back with an excuse and explanation.

You have to negotiate a time to fit ALL needs, if you love your granddaughters you will sacrifice more time for your daughter and her HUSBAND to be intimate. I know going through hard times, your spouse and your affection is sometimes the only thig that keep someone afloat.

Think outside the box and embrace the opportunity at watching your grandbabies more often (whether you think you do enough or not) and also helping your DAUGHTER with this hard situation!

Hope this helps!

Closed.

This is no longer about helping the OP, but about arguments back and forth.

It is ALSO not about Adult Sexuality, but about family law.

I suggest at this point that another thread be opened in "family law" or under "parenting" if the OP still feels she needs help with this situation.