I've been seeing this guy (we'll call him "B") for the last year and a half. It was a mess from the start. His ex-girlfriend ("J") was pregnant when we started seeing each other and I accepted the fact that I would be dating a man with a child. (I'm 22, that's kind of a big deal at my age.) After his son was born, we moved 1000 miles away to be closer to his son. After 2 months, I found out that he had kissed her and had been flirting with other girls. Considering this simply a minor offense, I decided to move back home and work things out long-distance. After 6 months of things looking up, we decided to try again. So I moved back down south and we started again. A month and a half later, I found out B had been consistently sleeping with J. Even two weeks after I had just moved back. Deciding to give it ONE more chance (I still don't know why, exactly) we argued and yelled and started to try AGAIN. Just tonight, I found out that he had seen a DIFFERENT ex and nothing happened, but he emailed her nine days ago, telling her he misses her, he still loves her, he wishes they could be together.

I don't understand how a human being could consistently do this. Every time this happens, I get yelled at for snooping, for not trusting him, and he somehow manages to make me feel guilty. I know I need to get out, but I don't know how. I don't have a lot of money, I don't have any family down here, and my friends are still new, and barely more than acquaintances. Help? Please?

I don't understand how a human being could consistently do this.


The reason why he does this is cause he knows you will always forgive him, what I would do is act like things are fine and wait till he's at work and pack my stuff and move out, if you don't have a lot of money than just rent a room for the time being, when you keep forgiving him and he screws you over you are not a "victim" you are a "volunteer"

He is abusing you emotionally, he is making or trying to make you think it is your fault for finding out, After a while you will be to scared to even check on him.

Go to a women shelter, move back that 1000 miles to your friends and family, If it is just a bus ticket home, get out.

You have been played from the start, by always rewarding his bad behavior, and doing what ever he wants, and then some.

Stop rewarding his bad behavior, and disappear from his life forever.

Call your family, and see if they can't help you get home.

Get out now. Go to a friend's house or a shelter until you can get back home. He doesn't love or respect you. He keeps doing it because there are no consequences for his actions. You deserve so much more.

As the others have said... LEAVE NOW! Call family and friends back home if you have to, or do whatever you can, and get out of there. I know these type of men unfortunately, and he's a text book case. There is an easy way to tell if he's lying to you. His lips will be moving!

You set the bar when you forgave him the first time, and no matter what you do, he is not going to change. He doesn't respect you, and will tell you anything you want to hear if it gets you to stay. Then he will go back to his old behaviour, and any time you question him, he will do anything to turn the blame on you. After all, he needs to justify his behaviour somehow, and he isn't about to take any responsibility for it.

Many times, these types of abusers are also prone to physical abuse if pushed too far. Leave and don't look back. It will be hard, but you will find that it was the best decision you ever made.