I recently got out of a relationship. It was only a month... but I can't get this guy out of my head. We met, we dated within a month... which I KNEW we shouldn't have... and now it's over. When I met him, all of my expectations and beliefs just went out the window. I am very, very---EXTREMELY picky when it comes to guys. I had never had a boyfriend because I had always rejected the guys. And then Ryan comes along. I can't even explain it... when I met him, it was instant chemistry. It was so strong, we both clicked instantly. We exchanged numbers and talked every day... we started dating after only a month, even though I knew better... I knew we shouldn't rush things but I couldn't resist and accepted when he asked me out. It was such a superficial relationship, we barely knew each other... which is why it did not last. As soon as we started "going out," we stopped talking as much and I told him that we didn't talk as much.. he said he didn't notice a change. I felt like breaking up but my friends said I should just go with the flow... and so I did. We spent SO MUCH time together. He offered me THE FKN WORLD & I "felt bad" about taking his money because I know how hard he works... so I didn't. I didn't want to be one of those girls who use guys for money. Anyway, I got busy with school and he did too with work. We barely saw each other and one day after a misunderstanding I kind of got mad and brought up the fact that our relationship sucked. I asked if he wanted to break up, he said no. The next day he came over, we hung out... made out.. but it wasn't the same. His kisses were weird... I didn't feel the same and neither did he. That same day, he texted me saying that "if I hadn't noticed, our relationship was slowly falling apart." So I told him exactly how I felt, I told him that I didn't think it was working out and that I didn't want to break up but that I didn't know what to do. [I wanted to try and work things out]. I think he wanted to end it there and then but didn't have the balls to do it. So we barely spoke that day. IDK to make a long story short, he basically wanted to break up but just couldn't do it, and although I HAD thought I wanted, I didn't. I ended up breaking up with him "on mutual terms" the next day and I felt VERY GOOD because I had been stressing the day before. As soon as we "broke up" he put some girl as his top 1 on myspace and she has him as number 2. She's leaving him saying HEY BABE HOW ARE YOU LOVE I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI, HEHE LOVE YOU LOTS. Is that?
I never slept with the guy, I'm a smart girl. I just don't understand why I am tripping so HARD when we ended it on good terms... I feel that he tried to play me. We break up and he's already talking to little girls like that? He would tell me he HELLA liked me, yet he didn't even want to or try to work things out. When we'd make out he always wanted to "go further." He tried to play me huh? I realized he started getting annoyed when I wouldn't F--- him. We had talked every day since the break up but he hasn't texted me for the past 2 days, he probably doesn't even care and I'm over here freaking out about nothing. I think I'm freaking out about the fact that I failed myself. I fell for his bull, I settled. And now that I realized he never liked me I regret not using him for his fkn money, but that just isn't me. It makes me mad though... U know? I guess I was starting to catch feelings for this guy, and I'm mad because I let this happen. Man, not to sounds conceited or anything... but I GET MAD GUYS... LOTS OF THEM... and for ME to be TRIPPIN over THIS GUY? It just makes me feel horrible. I have a future, he... um not so much. He works a dead end job... and I didn't even care!!

AHHHHHHHHH I just don't know what the fk is going on..?

This is like high school BS.


I think about this and at times IT MAKES NO SENSE THAT I'M TRIPPIN---"it was not working so we ended it"... but then I think about all the STUFF he told me and how it was all a lie and that makes me SO ANGRY. I somehow feel played, because I was lied to:| &&& because I was STARTING TO BELIEVE IT... :mad::(:confused:

MTHERFKER.


I don't want to feel this way...

I don't think this was a good guy, and I think you did the right thing on both counts: you upheld your principles of not using him for money, and you didn't 'f' him, but went according to your own speed. I applaud you for that. As for how you feel -- you can use all the logic and reasoning you want, but there's no controlling where your heart goes once you get the idea someone could be right for you. Because you are selective, you feel that much more strongly. You'll bounce back, just be glad you kept to your standards and keep your chin up.

Sometimes it just doesn't work. Doesn't have to be any one fault really, but it still sucks, because those darn feelings are still stirring around.

Lol @ This, what a loserrrrrrrrr.

Sucks that feelings change, but that is life and we learn, change and adapt to such things. All we can do is hope the next one is better

Six months later...


Hmmm... so it seems I had a super bias look on things.


I wasn't the best GF either. I think I pushed him away, I didn't feel that I liked him so it wasn't that big of an issue. He'd say I miss you and I'd say I did too--but I didn't mean it.

I had forgotten all about him... and then a few nights ago I had a "nightmare" that he was engaged. Why would I care? That dream messed up my game. Lol. I've been thinking about him ever since... it's ridiculous.

I'm about to graduate... he'd always talk about being there & now he's not going to.

It sounds dumb but I hope there's a PART 2... I need to redeem myself. I'm not who I 'was' during that time.


If it happens it happens, I guess.


Can't believe I haven't found interest in anyone else. BUMMER. That's what gets me, I'm super picky.



It's 4 am and I've been losing sleep over this. Holy sht. THIS ISN'T NORMAL... ESPECIALLY FOR ME.



I saw a pic of him and his 'new gf' earlier and it made my heart hurt, whatever that means. Lol whyyyyyy dammit whyy! I can't wait for this to BE COMPLETELY OVER.

Stop looking at his myspace page and let it go. The two of you only dated for a month and it didn't work out because it was a superficial relationship (your words),

Dating is suppose to be about getting to know one another but you missed and skipped that part. How did the two of you lose interest for each other within a month is beyond me but I guess it is a good thing.

Don't let the guilt keep those old feelings stirred up. And stay off his social page. The future is ahead of you not behind.

Thanks guys!

And I deleted him off my page a looooooong time ago. I came across it on my other friend's party pics album haha.

Anyway Talaniman, I think you hit the nail on the head when you say "Don't let the guilt keep those old feelings stirred up." That's exactly what I'm doing.


Thanks again!