Couchcarrot
Dec 23, 2008, 10:22 PM
The secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Karen, I know we had a wild fling for a while,
but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee
around here. Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?"
Karen simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."
_________________________________________ ______________
A husband and his wife are sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly, the drunk stands
Up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL,” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed,
And the husband looks at the drunk and says, "Excuse me, sir, you just farted
before my wife!"
The drunks replies, “I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn.
____________________________________ ___________________
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small southern town out in the country. She orders the fried chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she chokes on a chicken bone.
Well, these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking,
And they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over, and the second country boy starts licking his rear.
She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his coveralls back up and says to the other excitedly,
"You're right Billy Bob, that Hind-Lick Maneuver works like a charm."
but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee
around here. Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?"
Karen simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."
_________________________________________ ______________
A husband and his wife are sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly, the drunk stands
Up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL,” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed,
And the husband looks at the drunk and says, "Excuse me, sir, you just farted
before my wife!"
The drunks replies, “I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn.
____________________________________ ___________________
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small southern town out in the country. She orders the fried chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she chokes on a chicken bone.
Well, these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking,
And they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over, and the second country boy starts licking his rear.
She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his coveralls back up and says to the other excitedly,
"You're right Billy Bob, that Hind-Lick Maneuver works like a charm."