I split up with my long term ex last Christmas and immediately got involved in a rebound relationship with a special guy at work. This didn't work out as I never truly believed it was something real and put it down to rebound. He never truly believed I cared about him and by late spring it was over.
We hardly talked for a few months but although I have seen other men my feelings towards him haven't changed.
Last weekend at the office xmas party he said he thought I never cared about him. I explained that I did. He knows I am seeing someone new now and he is too. He said he cared about me but obviously this new guy was making me happy as I seemed really happy recently.
We got a little drunk and agreed to meet up to talk the next day. This didn't happen, what with hazy hangovers etc.
I spoke to him yesterday after work and he again said he cared about me but guessed it was now water under the bridge. His new girlfriend is going away for 2 months on boxing day and I don't want to move in on him whilst she is out of the picture but its gone on so long, I still feel really strongly for him and I don't know what to do. I don't feel I can just leave it. I asked how he felt about her and he said she was really into him, and she was good for him, but didn't disclose his own feelings.
The guy I am seeing is funny and makes me feel really good, but he is moving to Italy in 2 months and it's the guy from work who pulls at my heart strings. If I tell him how I feel will it push him away and could it be too little too late? Should I keep myself to myself and let him come to me if he wants to make something of it? We've both been hurt in previous serious relationships and my head says its so much easier to stick with the new guy as its all very easy and enjoyable, whereas with the work guy I feel so emotional and upset about the whole situation.
Am very confused. Please give me your advice. We are all aged between 27 and 32.
Thanks.

Could it be you want him now because you can't have him?

could it be you want him now coz you can't have him?

I wanted him all along, its just I didn't believe myself because I thought I was on the rebound. Can it still be a rebound a year on?

No where did you say anything about breaking up with the current people, your both involved with, and that's a red flag for people who need constant attention from others, and will cheat to get it.

That you even entertain the notion of taking the opportunity to scratch your itches because you will both be alone for a while is nothing but selfish LUST, and will never be healthy for either of you. That is cheating by you both.

What's worse, he ducked your question when you asked him how he feels about her. SHEEEEEEEZ!

No wonder your attracted to each other as your both alike, selfish, and impulsive, and sneaky, and needy.

Do it right, at least and give the b/f his freedom, and if this guy wants what you want, wouldn't he do the same?

If not buy a back scratcher, for that itch, and save yourself from being played.

As my current guy has chosen recently to move to Italy, I don't think he is serious in any way so that's not an issue. Besides we only see each other a maximum of once a week, and haven't had any conversation about being exclusive or committed to each other.

I spent most of this year single trying to get over my previous relationship and give myself time. I don't need constant attention at all.

You have a good point that he hasn't mentioned anything about finishing with his girlfriend and hasn't been clear how he feels about her.

I wrote on this website because I feel my heart is being torn apart at the moment and I don't know whether to take a gamble on the person I have feelings for or let him come to me should he feel the same. The only advice I have received is cynical and no help whatsoever. Never mind.