Hi I am new to this forum. I need help. I am lusting day and night over my best friends husband. I think he likes me too. What can I do?

I am married but can't help thinking about my best friends husband. I often catch him looking at me smiling at dinner parties. I look forward to seeing him. I think about him all the time. How do I know if he feels the same? Help I am confused.

I need to talk to someone about this. Please help me!!

Are you having problems with your husband?

This could lead into a big mess, do you want to head down that road. Not 1 person could get hurt but multiple people can

Since when?

Hi, shireen2009!

What do you mean by "lust"? If this is concerning having some kind of sexual relationship with him, is there a reason that you think it might be okay? I'm the kind of person who would find it hard to lust after someone about whom I really cared. Or, do you mean something deeper and more significant than lust, please?

Thanks!

Leave him alone, and stay away from him. Its real simple, as long as your lust is the stuff of fantasy, and you don't cross the lines of good behavior, or morality. You have done nothing wrong.

But the minute you cross that line to answer your lust, you run the risk of screwing up a lot of lives, friendships, marriages, and your own life.

If you cannot cope with those feelings, be a friend, and stay away from them both, especially him. It will pass, if you don't keep it alive in your mind. Don't dwell on it, get busy with some real things in your life.

Your choice.

No need to spam other post with your question be patient as this is not facebook, or a blog!

I know you guys are right.
The thing is that I see my friend quite a lot and her and her husband visit us quite a lot (yes I am married too). But I find myself thinking about her hubby lots . I think what a good bod he has, what fantastic muscles. We share the same interests in films etc . My friend gets bored of his films, but I often want to talk to him about them. I find myself looking at him a lot. He smiles a lot whilst talking to me, we can't help it. I don't know if he fancies me, but any opportunity he gets he tells his wife to call us over or they come to ours. What shall I do . Is this normal or does he fancy me?

I want him to fancy me, it excites me. I know I could never do anything about it. But the whole thought exites me. Why do I feel like this. Why do I lust for his bod. He is so georgeos. A perfect specimen of a man. But why?

You need to grow up and stop lusting over something that is clearly not YOURS! It's as simple as that..

I remember this quote from somewhere "Affairs always end in tragedy"

Why don't you go find something else to entertain your mind.. Jeez people these days creating all these problems in their lives.. no wonder majority of Americans are depressed.. it's despicable

"A dog with a bone in it's mouth runs to the lake. While at the lake it sees the reflection of the bone in the water. So at this point the dog drops the bone that it has in it's mouth while tring to get the bone it sees not knowing it is just a reflection in the water. The dog lost the bone and ends up with nothing!"

My point to you is that,. if you mess with your friends husband, it will only leave you with nothing! For you to lust after your friends husband is just wrong any which way you put it! LUST starts with an L because it does not LAST!

You can't control your feelings, they are yours and you just feel them, but you can control what you do about it. I strongly suggest you enjoy the feelings, but control the actions.

Its not that hard. Maybe you need more practice. Whatever you need talk to your husband about those needs.

If this woman is really your friend you will not pursue anything. You're married and your best friend is married and you could devestate your whole entire life for lust!I think that you need to stop lusting this man and because through it all... he married her and not you

Hi Shireen, I've read the answers so far and it is far too easy to say forget and move on. I am in a simliar situation as yourself as you'll see if you read my post. My difference to yourself is that it is not lust that drives me in my case, but a genuine caring of a good friend whom I really would like to be with. However, I accept that I would rather keep her as a friend than risk making one silly move and lose her friendship forever. Although you might say if the friendship is strong then it hopefully would survive. Not mentioned in my post is the fact that although she is engaged, her fiancé seems to think their relationship has gone as far as it can and may in fact have reached a conclusion.
With the festive period coming up, then it may be the one chance you and I have to have a few drinks too many (but without making fools of ourselves. In fact being the only sober one has its advantages too as I've found out in the past!) and test the water so to speak with our respective 'victims'!!
Perhaps with our similair circumstances, we could use each other as test subjects i.e. I'll tell you of signs my friend makes to me and you tell me as a woman what it would mean from your perspective and vice versa! Good luck and be careful. Boxman.

Shireen:

Like Talaniman said, you can't help your feelings, you really can't. They occur, they disappear.

You can control your actions!

I'm glad to read that you know that the other posters are right! And that you don't want to act on it!! It's a smart move, just think of how much your life would change, and the guilt you'd feel... and the hatred people will more likely then not direct towards the two of you... I think that would suck ever bit of excitement out of the whole thing!

I think that most people wants someone to want them! To be lusted for and to lust.

How is your marriage going? I red an article in a local news paper last year that encouraged people to use any feeling of excitement and lust and pour it into the relationship they are in.

As with the looking and smiling at each other and him wanting to invite you and your hubby over... well could it be that you are reading too much into it? That you want it to be a sign of him liking you? Seeing as you want him to want you... I really think you are reading too much into it! It just seems that way to me.

And of course it probably has happened somewhere on the face of the planet, that two people break out of a marriage to be with each other... but in this case, I think that he is just being friendly, i.e. within any normal 'being friendly' way.

I also think your feelings of lust are clouding your judgment when it comes to the signals you think you are receiving, and your mind is re-coding the signals some how.

I think you should grab a hold of yourself and start telling yourself that he is just being friendly, b\c you and his wife are best friends, and you and your hubby are friends with best friend-lady and her hubby! And its nice to have friends, and to see them and do stuff together, i.e. as two couples e.g. to eat dinner together and what not!

This can possibly destroy not only your family but his also. If there's a void your husband is not fulfilling this is something that should be communicated.

-Goodluck.