The long and the short of it... physically 100%: spiritually 100%; logically 10%...
Okay I keep thinking about that meatloaf 2 out of 3 ain't bad song... our relationship physically/sexually is totally amazing... my heart, my soul the person I am that only myself admits to... same batch as his... we totally get each other & are amazingly compatible on these levels... The plot thickens... career wise & financially, I'm pretty solid... him--not so much, as in he can't even get a credit card & lives pay cheque to pay cheque... I have loaned him a few thousand dollars for car repairs etc... and I have called it even, so as not to destroy that male pride thing... I don't want this to be about money... I know when people read this it will seem so corny, but our relationship is SO amazing in 2/3 of the mind-body-spirit realm... He kind of sucks as far as financially having a head on his shoulders; however, I feel a great part of this is his own personal decisions, as he chooses to spend money on cigarettes & pot... BUT can guys get over their mate being financially stable, when they're not... can girls (o.k... me) get over not being able to get over their guy not being able to wine & dine them... like seriously, I want to go on vacation & I'll end up going with girlfriends form work because he says he can't afford it & I know if I paid I would probably hold it against him... part 2... I'm almost 40 & he's 33... is there some kind of guy-girl maturity meter that this has to to be compared against... As I write this it kind of seems so obvious, but your head and your heart don't seem to operate on the same frequency... part 3... If the tables were turned and the guy was 40 & financially more stable & the girl was 33 and kind of sucked common sense-wise, but the other components of the relationship were amazing... would this even be an issue?. part 4... I have 3 kids under 12 that I'm supporting & I want to be sensible for their future , and for mine... DAMN this stupid heart not matching the brain thing! I know you can't change people.. but is it in any way, shape, or form reasonable to think that the common sense/financial differences are something that can be overcome, when the other parts of the relationship seem so in sync?

...I don't want this to be about money...

This sentence says it all.

For you it IS all about money.

You have it and can make more and show him that you have it...

If he doesn't fit your 'ideal man' image,why are you involved with him?

He shows bad taste in the pot buying(I smoke cigarettes so I won't say that's bad)and this behavior is probably contributing to his other responsibilities.

Again,why are you still keeping him around?What redeeming quality are you showing your children if he is all this much of a financial burden?

I get it,you have ,he struggles to follow you.

Is that what you see as part of the compatibility?

You can be 100% in everything, and be 3 for 3, but still not be compatible. Being willing, and able, are two different things, so better let him go.