View Full Version : I Still can't move on! And it sickens me
kay9191
Dec 17, 2008, 06:24 PM
I have finally stopped lying to myself and have admitted that I am NOT completely over my ex.its something that I have been trying to deal with on my own for about three months now and its really starting to get on my nerves.I refuse to talk to anybody about it because I don't want to bore people with how much of an this guy was and get myself upset.I REFUSE I REFUSE I REFUSE to sit around and mope and cry about this relationship because there are many others to come and I know that one day there will be a guy who treat me with the respect I deserve, love me for me "flaws and all" and who will act like a f ing MAN! And not a horny little boy who complains about what I don't do.I have definitely realized this on my own but there is still that small part of me that still wants to hold on, that still wonders... does he still love me?. even though I know that he wants nothing to do with me anymore and I have to put on a front as if I feel the same and there are times at which I do.I want to say something to him so bad because there are still a lot of unanswered questions that I would like to ask, but from my past posts I am trying to continue to with no contact whatsoever.Like any normal person in this world I need closure from this, but its really hard when you see this person everyday and one of my girlfriends has become best friends with him and she have a tendency to talk about my ex not knowing how I really feel about this person.im not jealous or anything, even though she gets to do all the things that I was never able to do with him, like go shopping and just hang out and also she's gained something that I have lost... a person to vent my problems to.he was the only person whom I felt that comfortable with to really truly oppen up to and I will say that he did the same as well.he was good for that among other things.he was an at times but he was also a good friend and that that is one thing he's known for is being a friend... I no longer have that so I have had to do something that I haven't done in over a year which is bottle up my emotions and try to cope on my own.I have tried to talk to other guys but I realized I don't have time for a relationship and I don't really like this guy that much anyway (my attempt to show myself that I have moved on).And I actually found out that talking to somebody else too.yeah it hurt a little bit but I actually don't feel that bad.sure I want to know who it is and everything but I really don't want to do that.I feel that trying to communicate with him only causes conflict and doesn't help either one of us with trying to move on (if he already hasn't made a complete turn around which I'm sure he has).im happy for him sad and a little surprised and curious all at the same time... (im not jealous at all just so you know:o)
rockergirl412
Dec 17, 2008, 06:39 PM
I know it's hard and I don't think your jelouse my best frined is the same with my ex she got to do a lot of thing with him like you metioned and I felt bad because I wished it was me.. but in your case I'd say talk to your girl friend and tell her not to bring him up... don't push yourself away from him ethier give it some time and as soon as you feel you want to talk to him talk it out get what ever it is you have to get out out in the open with him you never know what he'll say aren't you at least curious?
I made the mistake of not doing that a year later I find out things I wouldn't never picture him saying to me. :) I get what you mean I've been there don't try holding it in too much I know you want to see brave and just cope with it but something aren't better left inside you can really hurt yourself that way...
NorthernNiceGuy
Dec 17, 2008, 09:56 PM
Well I can tell you that three months after a break-up is nothing and that you shouldn't feel sick about not being over it. I am approaching 9 months since my break-up and while I am my old self again, I will say that I am not completely "over it".
Don't hold these feelings in, times like these are what good friends are for. I talked my feelings into the ground until I eventually got bored with myself and couldn't stand the thought of wasting anymore time on it.
I'm glad you're sticking with your no contact, it truly is the only way to go. I know you have unanswered questions but personally I think you should just leave them be. You're really truly over it when you could care less about the answers to those questions.
You got the right attitude and you seem like a great girl. Just hold strong and time will heal these wounds. Just last night my friends and I were joking and making fun of how pathetic I sounded during the first few months... In time, everything will be all right!
talaniman
Dec 17, 2008, 11:54 PM
Nice rant, feel better?
kctiger
Dec 18, 2008, 06:48 AM
Three months is nothing, I am approaching four, and like Northern, I am getting my old self back, there are still brutal times where I completely miss her. My best friend is now dating her room mate, which makes for a really awkward situation and something that I don't know how to handle.
The worse thing to do is hold your feelings in. Let them come out until you get sick of talking and thinking about them. There is nothing wrong with venting and going off on these rants like you are doing. Don't worry about the time factor, as everyone is different. All that matters is that you are doing what is best for you... carry on!
jmw0713
Dec 18, 2008, 08:50 AM
That's what this site is for... ranting and letting bottled up feelings out!
Your doing well. It will take time. I'm 3 months in as well, and I'm getting hung up on my ex.
You will go through good times and bad times. Just keep moving forward.