Would some one help me please? … are there any kind people left out there?.
Let me start by saying I am a person who was so naïve so innocent that I thought all my troubles would be gone after high school, that I would graduate university fall in love and live happily ever after… I can’t believe I was so naïve… I went to study my favourite subject psychology in order for me to work one day as a clinical psychologist cause I thought that there is nothing better than helping people… I worked hard…really hard but kept failing each year for two years at the end of those two years I got depressed…seriously depressed… and then I was diagnosed as being severely Dysgraphic (sort of like dyslexia but I am only bad at writing not reading),

Even with the university getting the doctors report they refused to help me with my past grades… I couldn’t take it… I couldn’t take it at all I had to get away I went back home my spirit broken, desperate, and depressed I thought I should help my dad with his job as he needed someone he can trust mean while I studied business administration in an open university near by… I never ever thought I would be studying business administration…ever! I wanted to help people…this was far from it... the girl that I fell in love with is now in love with my brother (yet he doesn’t give a S$%” about her)…. I have been dying slowly ever since I went to university but this… coming back home and seeing her with him this just buried me deep under …its been a year since then and recently I have just wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and just disappear…you know? Just stop existing… there is no point to anything is there? No point what so ever.. you go to school for 12 years then you leave to university for 4 to 8 years…you graduate and go through the same routine day in and day out until you die…just like a hamster running inside the wheel … is there a point anyone? Is there any reason why life is so important? Why I shouldn’t just cut my wrists in a warm bathtub?.

As someone who studied psychology, you should already know your thoughts are a result of your depression and that you are not clear headed at this time - so don't do anything extreme! As someone who studied psychology, you should recognize that you're going to need help to get through this, so don't be shy – See your doctor, book a session with a counselor, or if nothing else, call your local crisis or suicide hotline for help.

Going forward now:

Your post seems to say that you have lost "purpose" in your life.

No matter what you do in life, you can help others - Perhaps not always through your direct employment, but certainly through volunteering your time, money, or skills to people and organizations in need. Most people work their shift, and then live their life outside of their working hours. If your true goal in life is to help people, you must turn your thinking around and question yourself on what it is you CAN do.

Perhaps your business skills can be used to manage a non-profit agency? Maybe your business skills will let you make a good living that allows you to be philanthropic. There are many possibilities - There is lots of need in the world.

The one thing you cannot do anymore is continue feeling sorry for yourself. Being a victim means your life will never improve because you've given up. Understand that you are young, and in the big picture, the years you've spent in high school and college are just a very small part of the whole.

Your above post is great. I would read it again!

You are a clever person, with a whole full life ahead of you.

No.1 forget about this girl, she is breaking your heart.
No. 2 if I were in your shoes, and I have money saved I would pack my bags and go travelling, spend quality time with yourself, it will do you a world of good. Instead of mopping around feeling sorry for yourself!

When I was 19 I packed my bags and left home, I travelled, and settled in England for 6 years. I left alone! Before that I was innocent and naïve too and also very dependent on my parents. I know this will do you good if you do travel because from my experience, it made me strong, independent and full of life.

Life is short, so make the most of it.
Don't do stupid things to yourself as a cry for help, help yourself get through this, be the stronger one out of it all.

Zk85-You may not know it but you have done the right thing by letting someone know how you feel. A good first step. Find a good physician and tell him what you've just told us and let him help. Next ,since you want to help others you don't need a degree to volunteer your time at a children's clinic or hospital or church organization. Reach out for those less fortunate and I guarantee you will meet some good caring people to be around and your help will be greatly appreciated. The kind word or heartfelt help you can give to another may be the difference in their lives as well as yours. You are a lot more valuable than you know and even though you may not know it someone out there needs you, you just have to find them. Good luck and comeback. You'll never be alone or useless here.

Yes, Talaniman, that was great! All of the responses are great!

-you are important
-don't let women (or lack of) control your feelings
-get away (travel)
-help others
-DON'T do anything drastic

Please follow the advice of the answers you have received already. They are great.

You need some lessons in how to take minor setbacks in stride and learn the lessons they offer so you can make the most of what you do have. If you encounter a boulder in the path, then find another path. If your aspirations or even your expectations don't have a solid foothold in reality, then YOU are setting yourself up for the heartache, not the world, or the university or your brother and his girl.

Don't quote me here but it was something like Edison's (pre-lightbulb days) thousandth experiment that discovered that copper would conduct electricity. Someone once asked him if he wasn't utterly discouraged by the 999th experiment and he said "Heck NO!!"... he knew 999 substances that would not conduct electricity and therefore he was that much closer to discovering what would. Now there's the attitude you need!

I personally understand about getting trapped in "Victim" thinking but I am telling you, if you want to see a real victim, visit a critical ill children's ward - offer to do some volunteer work there. Call them today and ask what you can do. For me, I took AA meetings into prison (its a long story why that was my epiphany of choice but it was) where I would walk in with problems galore and, encountering seriously train-wrecked lives in there, leave with NOOOOOOO problems, only challenging opportunities to learn some lessons!

Your lesson is about what are you going to do with your life that is productive. So get your mind out of the swamp, man, and get busy figuring that out. Make sure its attainable too, okay? You need a new dream and you will have to be the author - get busy!

Hello ZK85,

I would like to look at your problems from a biochemical point of view.

Most people believe that when you are depressed it MUST be psychological and then you are told what you should think and how you should feel on the assumption the mind controls the body.

Most people with depression are found to be hypoglycemic (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/what_is_hypo.html) according to a four hour Medical Test for Hypoglycemia (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/testing_hypoglycemia.html).
It can also be testing with the Nutrition Behavior Inventory Test (NBI) (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/nutrition-behavior_inventory.html)

If you have a metabolic disorder such as Insulin Resistance (http://www.google.com/search?complete=1&hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&safe=off&q=define%3A+insulin+resistance&btnG=Search), leading to the hypoglycemic syndrome it means that you brain is deprived or proper amounts of Biological Energy called (ATP) (http://www.google.com/search?complete=1&hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=define%3A+adenosine+triphosphate&btnG=Search), which is necessary to energize the biochemical machinery of brain cells. This energy is required to manufacture the feel good neurotransmitters (http://www.google.com/search?complete=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=define%3A+neurotransmitter&btnG=Google+Search) such as serotonin (http://www.google.com/search?complete=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=define%3A+serotonin&btnG=Google+Search).

This condition may have been interfering with your ambition to become a psychologist, because a person with a debilitating metabolic disorder often cannot reach their full potential.

Thus before you make any final decisions about your future I suggest you investigate the possibility of having hypoglycemia. If so, the first step is to treat it without recourse to drugs with the adoption of the Hypoglycemic Diet (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/hypoglycemic_diet.html).

Once you start feeling a bit better it is time to reassess the purpose in your life. It may be worthwhile studying:

Values Clarification Course (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/psychotherapy/values_clarification.html)

Which will help you to choose the career and kind of life style that would be satisfactory to you.

Please discuss these matter with a Nutritional Doctor or a Clinical Nutritionist or a Psychonutritionist.

But the upshot is that most of your problems could be due to a nutritional disorder that causes all sorts of 'psychological' problems.

The answer can be found in the following articles:

Depression is a Nutritional Disorder (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/depression_disorder.html)

Depression: a Disease of Energy Production (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/depression_energy.html)

Please discuss with your therapist.