I broke up a few months ago from a long term relationship. In the relationship there was no love on my end. It was mostly out of convinience and that I knew it would be a nightmare to end it. Eventually it did end and I had no plans on being with anyone for a long long time. I saw a couple guys that I hung out with and we did fun things and had a good time but nothing serious. Then I met Greg a few weeks ago through some friends and at first I was like, this guy is totally not what I'm use to. I agreed to go out with him a couple times and things just spun from there. I told him I couldn't get into anything serious because I needed to find myself. He was fine with that and said we would be friends at first. So he hung out and we went places and he told me one night last week it was never just friends. That I am deep in his heart but he can't say the L word yet because it gets him into trouble. So that's fine but now I've fallen deeply head over heels for this man and find myself running the other way and he notices that. He tells me that I have my guard up and he feels me pulling away from him. Then he doesn't come over. Ask me if I don't mind that he doesn't come up so then I'm freaked. I'm like omg... what did I do now and I better run now before I get hurt worse. I truly want things to work long term with Greg but just don't know what I'm suppose to do now. For once in my life I feel like I could finally be in love with a man instead of just going through the emotions and pretending because it's better for everyone else.

My first inclination was not good, so I will try again. Get some professional counseling to help you deal with your insecurities. Since you have never actually felt in love, there must be some deep seated issues in your past. Please get then out in the open and dealt with before you hurt anymore people in your life.

Set boundries, decide to date a certain number of days a week or a month. Then date for a number of months and see how it is going

The key here is you meet greg a few week ago, great, so in a few months you may be ready to be seroius. Just take time.

Tell him that it is not him and you are scaring yourself because you think what you are feeling may be love for him and you are not sure what to do or how to be with it. Be honest and tell him you don't want to lose him but you don't want to get ahead of yourself more than you feel comfortable with. If you just keep backing off and running you could just end up losing him because he will likely misinterpret things as you are not interested at all or not enough.