Let me ask a question, my nephew has lived with me and his father since the day he was born. She left when he was 2, gave my brother full custody 2 yrs but had visitation rights, which she used twice. She has not seen or attempted to reach him Since Jan 06. She does not pay child support. Legally, can parental rights be taken away from her.

Let me ask a question, my nephew has lived with me and his father since the day he was born. She left when he was 2, gave my brother full custody 2 yrs but had visitation rights, which she used twice. She has not seen or attempted to reach him Since Jan 06. She does not pay child support. Legally, can parental rights be taken away from her.



No, she cannot be (legally) stripped of her rights.

No, she cannot be (legally) stripped of her rights.

What would we have to do to strip of her parental rights which she does not use anyway.

What would we have to do to strip of her parental rights which she does not use anyway.



Re-read what has been posted - you cannot strip her of her rights. She is the child's mother and cannot lose her rights under these circumstances.

You cannot strip a natural parents of her rights. There is no such provision under the Law.

Anyone else out there that can shed some light? Has anyone experienced this? I am thinking along the lines of abandonment.

Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights New York - (http://library.adoption.com/articles/grounds-for-termination-of-parental-rights-new-york.html)


At what age is a child old enough to decide for himself which parent he would like to live with?

Her parental rights cannot be "stripped" as you put it. Why doesn't he go after her for child support? There are deadbeat mothers as well as deadbeat fathers out there. Why should she just be able to dump her kid on him and expect to skip free down the road? I have seen way too any of these women who have kids and then dump them on anybody that will take them. These mothers need to pony up some money to take care of their children.

Her parental rights cannot be "stripped" as you put it. Why doesn't he go after her for child support? There are deadbeat mothers as well as deadbeat fathers out there. Why should she just be able to dump her kid on him and expect to skip free down the road? I have seen way too any of these women who have kids and then dump them on anybody that will take them. These mothers need to pony up some money to take care of their children.

Because she does not work and if she did it would be a minimum wage job. $30 a month is really not going to make a dent. Sometimes it's best to just leave well enough alone. Kind of like" If it's not broke don't fix it". I really would just like to adopt him and make it official.

He already has a father. How could you adopt him?

He already has a father. How could you adopt him?

He can have two parents. I would be his mother. If God forbid something would happen to his father, I would not have to worry about having to fight for custody. With the courts being what they are today, even though she has not done a thing for him, she would fight for custody if she thought she could get a monthly check. That's the type of ingrate she is.

Anyone else out there that can shed some light? Has anyone experienced this? I am thinking along the lines of abandonment.

The bottom line here is that courts are VERY reluctant to grant a TPR. Generally, they will only do so to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child. An involuntary TOR is even harder.


Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights New York - (http://library.adoption.com/articles/grounds-for-termination-of-parental-rights-new-york.html)


At what age is a child old enough to decide for himself which parent he would like to live with?

A child is never old enough. Until a person reaches 18 only a judge can decide with whom the child can live. A judge will listen to a child's preference, but the judge will make the decision based on what they feel is best for the child.

If your brother has full custody and the mother has visitation and no custody. Then you and your brother can call the court and ask if he can petition the court to give you joint custody.

My ex brother-in-law had full custody of my nieces and they came to live with me and my husband until they got situated and got their own place. We went to the courts so that I could become legal gaurdians over them so that I could legally sign documents wherever it concerned my nieces while he was at work. We were told the only way it could be done is for him to either give me custody or joint custody, he agreed on the joint custody.

If your brother has full custody and the mother has visitation and no custody. Then you and your brother can call the court and ask if he can petition the court to give you joint custody.

My ex brother-in-law had full custody of my nieces and they came to live with me and my husband until they got situated and got their own place. we went to the courts so that I could become legal gaurdians over them so that I could legally sign documents wherever it concerned my nieces while he was at work. we were told the only way it could be done is for him to either give me custody or joint custody, he agreed on the joint custody.

I'm curious as to where this is, because in my experience, custody is something cranted only to a legal parent. Guardianship, however, can be granted to a non legal parent.

If your brother has full custody and the mother has visitation and no custody. Then you and your brother can call the court and ask if he can petition the court to give you joint custody.

My ex brother-in-law had full custody of my nieces and they came to live with me and my husband until they got situated and got their own place. we went to the courts so that I could become legal gaurdians over them so that I could legally sign documents wherever it concerned my nieces while he was at work. we were told the only way it could be done is for him to either give me custody or joint custody, he agreed on the joint custody.

Cindy are there any forms that have to be filled out prior to this? Also, we don't know where his mother is. The phone numbers we have for her have all been disconnected with no forwarding numbers.

Cindy are there any forms that have to be filled out prior to this? Also, we don't know where his mother is. The phone numbers we have for her have all been disconnected with no forwarding numbers.

You are probably going to want a lawyer, not just a form. It's a pretty complicated situation with the mother not being around.

Cindy are there any forms that have to be filled out prior to this? Also, we don't know where his mother is. The phone numbers we have for her have all been disconnected with no forwarding numbers.

Also laws vary from state to state. Unless Cindy lives in the same area as you do, her advice may not be applicable.

But, this is a complex issue and you really should consult an attorney to prepare the paperwork.

Right now we have a living will that if my brother should predecease me while my nephew is a minor, custody would go to me. Should we die together and he is a minor, custody would go to our cousin. My brother has full custody. Is this binding? I live in NY.

I spoke with a lawyer several years ago and she told me that should his mother contest this, the burden of proof for custody would be up to her and in the meantime he stays with me until the court decides.

Right now we have a living will that in the event that my brother should predecease me while my nephew is a minor, custody would go to me. Should we die together and he is a minor, custody would go to our cousin. My brother has full custody. Is this binding? I live in NY


A living will is a health care directive. It has nothing to do with custody.

If custody is mentioned in the living will, it is not valid so, no, it's not binding, even in NY.

"A living will is a legal document that a person uses to make known his or her wishes regarding life prolonging medical treatments. It can also be referred to as an advance directive, health care directive, or a physician's directive. A living will should not be confused with a living trust, which is a mechanism for holding and distributing a person's assets to avoid probate. It is important to have a living will as it informs your health care providers and your family about your desires for medical treatment in the event you are not able to speak for yourself. http://www.alllaw.com/articles/wills_and_trusts/article7.asp"

A living will is a health care directive. It has nothing to do with custody.

If custody is mentioned in the living will, it is not valid so, no, it's not binding, even in NY.

"A living will is a legal document that a person uses to make known his or her wishes regarding life prolonging medical treatments. It can also be referred to as an advance directive, health care directive, or a physician's directive. A living will should not be confused with a living trust, which is a mechanism for holding and distributing a person's assets to avoid probate. It is important to have a living will as it informs your health care providers and your family about your desires for medical treatment in the event you are not able to speak for yourself. http://www.alllaw.com/articles/wills_and_trusts/article7.asp"

I meant a will. I apologize for confusing the two.

I meant a will.

Doesn't matter. Custody cannot be granted in a will. Guardianship can be, but only if both legal parents are dead.

Okay Guys, thanks for your advice.

I meant a will. I apologize for confusing the two.


Custody cannot be assigned by Will - you can list your preferences but they are not legally binding.

Was the lawyer right when she stated that the burden of proof for custody was up to his mother? Would he remain with me should she contest it?

Are you married to the child's father, The step parent can adopt if the bio parent will sign away the rights to allow an adoption.

If the bio mother goes to jail long term, it can be a reason to take rights away in some states.

Merely not paying child support and not visiting is not grounds for taking rights away.

Are you married to the childs father, ? the step parent can adopt if the bio parent will sign away the rights to allow an adoption.

If the bio mother goes to jail long term, it can be a reason to take rights away in some states.

Merely not paying child support and not visiting is not grounds for taking rights away.


No, the OP is the aunt - the sister of the father. She has intentions of adopting the child and becoming his/her mother (from what I read).

A post containing a lot of the background was pulled.

Are you married to the childs father, ? the step parent can adopt if the bio parent will sign away the rights to allow an adoption.

If the bio mother goes to jail long term, it can be a reason to take rights away in some states.

Merely not paying child support and not visiting is not grounds for taking rights away.

I am the aunt. The child's bio father is my brother. I am just trying to see what my rights would be if something should happen to his father. I have a friend who is going through a custody battle and is in a similar situation. Nothing was left in writing and the child is a minor whose mother wants custody simply because the child will be receiving a SS check.

No, the OP is the aunt - the sister of the father. She has intentions of adopting the child and becoming his/her mother (from what I read).

A post containing a lot of the background was pulled.

No post of mine was pulled Judy.

No post of mine was pulled Judy.


Read backwards - " Today, 01:12 AM
Hildie
This message has been deleted by ScottGem. Reason: rudeness and orphans"

Wow Scott just when I was starting to like you! LOL Did not mean any harm in my comment and I apologize if I offended you.

Wow Scott just when I was starting to like you!! LOL Did not mean any harm in my comment and I apologize if I offended you.

I did pull a couple of posts that violated the rules. But none of them contained any info pertinent to this thread.

Let me summarize here. Your niece (brother's child) lives with you and your brother and has since birth. Your brother was granted full custody when he was 2, but the mother had visitation which she has rarely exercised. You are wanted to know 1) can her rights be terminated and 2) what will happen to the child if your brother dies.

1) It is highly unlikely that a TPR would be granted against the mother. Even if she is not visiting or paying support, the courts would be very reluctant to grant a TPR. There is a possibility you might be able to adopt, if the mother is willing but you will need an attorney to explore that avenue.

2) Custody can not be legally granted by will. While you can include a provision expressing preferences for who takes guardianship of the child, the bio paren't rights take precedence. So such a clause in a will would not survive a challenge.

I did pull a couple of posts that violated the rules. But none of them contained any info pertinent to this thread.

Let me summarize here. Your niece (brother's child) lives with you and your brother and has since birth. Your brother was granted full custody when he was 2, but the mother had visitation which she has rarely exercised. You are wanted to know 1) can her rights be terminated and 2) what will happen to the child if your brother dies.

1) It is highly unlikely that a TPR would be granted against the mother. Even if she is not visiting or paying support, the courts would be very reluctant to grant a TPR. There is a possibility you might be able to adopt, if the mother is willing but you will need an attorney to explore that avenue.

2) Custody can not be legally granted by will. While you can include a provision expressing preferences for who takes guardianship of the child, the bio paren't rights take precedence. So such a clause in a will would not survive a challenge.

Thanks for your help Scott.

Thread closed