Me (26) and my husband (32) have been married a year now. Initially we planned to have a baby after 2 yrs of marriage... well that plan didn't stick! I am 7 weeks pregnant now.
My husband thinks that it is not the right to have a baby because, 1: Affordability 2: too soon and 3: we have lots of disagreements, due to which the environment is hostile. He thinks you should have a baby only when you want to.

Although, I agree with him to some extent, sometimes you can't be logical/practical... its a baby... it has happened and I am loving the feeling!

He says that he cannot stop me from having the baby, but he will resent it since he did not want it in the first place...
I want my baby to have a loving mom and dad... I am confused!

Your advice is appreciated!

You and your husband not getting along is not really the issue. Weather or not you have a baby is not going to change that. Either way, you should try counseling to solve your marital problems.

As far as waiting until you can afford it - we would all be waiting forever!

If you are feeling happy about the baby, then your question is answered. Giving up a baby or having an abortion is something that you live with for the rest of your life. It never goes away.

Good luck!

My wife and I are going to have are third child. I held out for years until we recently were going through some rough marital times and gave in to go for another one.

Your husband has issues if he is saying he is going to resist or resent the very life that came from his body. Abortion should never even be thought of! It's murder! The repercussions of emotion distress you would have to live with is crazy.

You should seek counsel from someone that has experience in these matters.

Your husband is just not ready to grow up and become a man.


I hope you let your heart lead the way.
You'll be in our prayers.

You and your husband not getting along is not really the issue. Weather or not you have a baby is not going to change that. Either way, you should try counseling to solve your marital problems.

As far as waiting until you can afford it - we would all be waiting forever!

If you are feeling happy about the baby, then your question is answered. Giving up a baby or having an abortion is something that you live with for the rest of your life. It never goes away.

Good luck!!

I agree. No one is ever completely ready. If you are wanting the baby now, then go with that. It would be worth it to see if your husband comes around. This is a precious gift.

God bless and good luck :)

Yes, and if you do abort, will you see a empty swing every time you pass and hold this against him.

What if the abortion causes you to not be able to have a child in the future or for some reason you can't

And while it may not be the case, often after the child gets here they become mom and dads entire world.

Yes, and if you do abort, will you see a empty swing every time you pass and hold this against him.


Yes. You could have resentment towards him for the rest of your life. You need to explain that aspect to him.

My view on abortion,ONLY and I mean ONLY if the pregnancy was from something like a rape or hate crime... etc

A life is a life,his lack of feelings toward an unborn fruit of his loins(and yours) shows you where the loyalty,love, and commitment for a relationship lies.I hope you can see this.

Both of the posters above have issues that would probably require some kind of counseling(for them and/or both of their respective partners too)

Making a baby is easy.

Planning for a child is a good step,it's what responsible people do,but a responsible relationship requires 2 adults,2 people who(hopefully) have a good relationship and can provide a child with love and care.

Making a baby to settle a fight is a very poor way to rejuvenate a dysfunctional relationship,adding more stress to an already unstable lifestyle.And very poorly planned parenthood.

Age makes NO difference.

Put yourselves in the other persons shoes and look at what they are doing.What would you 2 do in each others position?How would you help that other person to get past the trauma they are going through(Yes, children in bad,dysfunctional households end up where? Lost,and without the other parent at home,, probably in a dysfunctional life themselves)

Is this a harsh response? YES,it is meant to be.Both posters need a reality check.

By the way,if you are looking to give a negative response via the rating system,please take the time to look over the rules of this site.Negative responses are for FACTUALLY INCORRECT STATEMENTS,not if you simply disagree with this post.If you feel the need to state your disapproval do it in another post.

Thank you.

If he doesn't want to have a baby then he shouldn't be having sex with you. Your husband is selfish.

What do you mean when you say "He thinks you should have a baby only when u want to"? Do you mean that he wants a baby only when he want one?

I agree with anyone else "there's never a right time to have a baby". What was your using as a precaution to prevent you from getting pregnant? Your husband might be saying he doesn't want a baby now but that might change once the baby is born, iif you decide to keep it.

Anyway counseling might be good since the two of you are having problems. What problems are your having anyway?

Is this a harsh response? YES,it is meant to be.Both posters need a reality check.

I'm sorry, are you speaking of me?

It's not like you don't have nine months to work through it...

I'm sorry, are you speaking of me?

No, I think KBC was referring to the OP and her husband.

I'm sorry, are you speaking of me?

No not you.

And I apologize for the very harsh wording.

Abortion issues really give me a red neck.

Still my words are my opinion on planning to be parents.

To settle a relationship difficulty with the idea of having another child,, well that's just wrong,adding more to a problem.We all know how hard it is to raise kids.How will someone change fr the better while being even more stressed raising another child?

Both of the posters above have issues that would probably require some kind of counseling(for them and/or both of their respective partners too).

Oh, I'm sorry. I was just confused about this as well. When you said posters, I thought you were referring to me and jjwood...

As to the op... I have had two abortions. The first I was young. It was in my best interest to have an abortion. My second abortion occurred with my boyfriend who passed away in September. yes, we were being foolish and stupid. I didn't want to have the second abortion because of my health and possibly not being able to conceive again. He didn't want the baby because, as your husband says, we were not ready.

This caused many fights. I finally went with his decision. I have had resentment since that has happened. I always wondered why didn't I just listen to myself.
He always said that baby would come back to us, but it didn't make me feel any better. Well, our baby did come back to us and he is no longer here. We didn't know I was pregnant when he passed, so I have gotten a chance once again at the precious gift that left us two years ago.

So you are in a situation to where you can learn from your mistake and keep a precious gift and go to counseling with your husband, or have an abortion and still go to conseling because of built up anger. The choice is completely yours. You do what is best for your well being.

so you are in a situation to where you can learn from your mistake and keep a precious gift

Let me clarify what I meant by mistake... as to what kbc is saying, yes it is responsible to plan for a child, but you didn't like me and my boyfriend didn't.

Thank you all for your advice... I really appreciate it!

I have decided to have the baby... my husband is pouting but I have faith that he can never resent his own child and things will be OK :)

My parents have been a great support and I am thankful to have them. My mom-in-law can't stop shedding tears of joy ever since she found out.

Thank you sooo much!

This truly is wonderful news.

I am sorry again for the rash and harsh post.

The blessings you will receive for having a child are too numerous to count and I wish you and yours good health and a happy life with this new addition to your family!:)

That is good to hear and I am glad you have family that will support you. I think your husband will come around once your bundle of joy is born, if not then screw him.

Best of luck and congratulations! Take care of yourself and don't let him stress you out.

If you want the child and you know that you'll be a loving mother then stay with it. I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant and unmarried at the time. But I had him and I am so thankful to have him. And as much as I love my husband, if it came down to him or Jack. I would take jack. And my husband knows this, so I just love him more for that!

Best wishes to you and your family! :)

Congratulations Saaj! I wish you all the best.

UPDATE:

My husband's friend knocked some sense into him and his encounter with our 3 yr old neighbor only helped.

He has come around is now looking forward to the baby! Thank you all for your support and prayers :D

Congrats I am glad to hear that

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Babies are so special

Good to hear it will work out well for you.

WOOOT. I'm so glad to hear that! :)