I left my husband over a year ago. It’s a long story, but I felt that I had to make the choice that was safest for our then 8 week old child. My husband was emotionally abusive and a possible danger not just to himself (bipolar & suicidal) but maybe to our son and me.

I got a lot of flack from family friends and people from our church when I left. Probably because they didn’t know what was really going on behind closed doors. The only one that didn’t outright condemn my choice told me that leaving meant that I would stay single or risk committing adultery. They feel that since he never hit me and I had no proof of adultery, (it wasn’t until long after I left that the adultery came to light and I still have not shared my knowledge of it) I was not justified in abandoning my marriage vows.

However, now my (soon to be ex) husband has begun dating a very nice Christian young woman. It seems that they are not meeting with any opposition from (my former) church or his ultra-orthodox family.

They’ve declared that since I left the family and their church, I was never really one of them. I’m not sure if they mean that I was never really a Christian or I was never really a member of the family.

I am torn because when I got married I meant it to be for life. But I feel as if my hand was forced when my husband became a threat to our son’s safety. And I could not imagine that little boy growing up to believe that the way my husband behaved toward me is the way that men should treat women. I made the wrong choice when I married him, but I thought that I was doing the right thing by marrying a Christian man that I loved who came from a long established Christian family that is very active in the church.

I’ve always heard that the only grounds for a Christian divorce are either adultery or abuse. But scripturally I only find grounds for divorce when adultery is a factor, and even then it is strongly discouraged. Also, it seems that remarriage, even after divorce on scriptural grounds, is still considered adultery. So what are the real grounds for Christian divorce?

And now that I will be divorced, am I really to remain without the companionship and outlet of marriage for the rest of my life?

Just out of curiosity - what specific religion? I can address the Roman Catholic religion and annulment/divorce and to a certain extent Jewish divorces but I've never heard the part about adultery/abuse being the only grounds.

Just out of curiosity - what specific religion? I can address the Roman Catholic religion and annulment/divorce and to a certain extent Jewish divorces but I've never heard the part about adultery/abuse being the only grounds.

Anglican Catholic - basically UBER conservative version of the Episcopalian church. But I would be curious about other Christian denominations as well. (I consider Christianity to include pretty much any denomination that believes in the Trinity.)

Anglican Catholic - basically UBER conservative version of the Episcopalian church. But I would be curious about other Christian denominations as well. (I consider Christianity to include pretty much any denomination that believes in the Trinity.)



Hmm - don't know anything about Anglican Catholics and/or the Episcopalian Church. I could research but it sounds like you need someone who actually knows or has experienced this.

Well, I'm not looking for our specific church to sanction the divorce. I had to just leave our church. So I guess I'm curious about Christianity in general.

What is the Roman Catholic take on divorce and what, if anything justifies it?

I know that we in our denomination have a lot of divorced people. One close friend is now on his third marriage. One divorce, one death. God does not want you to divorce, but I think he will forgive it in certain cases. Adultery, abuse, among them. It is not up to man or any church to condem or agree with your decision to leave a potentally dangerous situation. I certainally don't.

Well, I'm not looking for our specific church to sanction the divorce. I had to just leave our church. So I guess I'm curious about Christianity in general.

What is the Roman Catholic take on divorce and what, if anything justifies it?



My first marriage was Roman Catholic. As I recall - and I'm reaching back - there is no Catholic divorce, only annulment on very limited grounds. You have to prove that it never was a "legal" (Catholic) marriage. I recall incurable insanity at the time of the marriage was one of the acceptable grounds - quite frankly, I thought I qualified because I must have been insane to marry him in the first place. :)

Anyway - I had to have some grounds that it was not a valid marriage in the first place and there was no middle ground.

I WAS told that there was no objection to me getting a civil divorce but if I ever pretty much laid eyes on another man I would be committing adultery as, in the eyes of the Church, I would be married until one of us died.

Maybe things have changed. I don't know.

My husband got a "Jewish" (religious) divorce and had no problems - I believe he proved they were incompatible and that was that. (The Jewish divorce is in Hebrew so I only know what he told me.)

Wow... I grew up in a somewhat legalistic place so I KNOW of what you speak. You know, the apostle Paul didn't even give the Church the remarry even for adultry. ( Jesus did in the Gospels) Abuse is NEVER to be tolerated and I think good ol common sense needs to come into play here. The Lord Jesus would NOT want you to endure NOR you child to watch an abusive man.. PERIOD. So I don't think that it is black and white, I believe you should pray about it and be led by PEACE. I believe with all of my heart you are free to marry again but ONLY a Christian.

Wow...i grew up in a somewhat legalistic place so I KNOW of what you speak. You know, the apostle Paul didn't even give the Church the go ahead and remarry even for adultry. ( Jesus did in the Gospels) Abuse is NEVER to be tolerated and I think good ol common sense needs to come into play here. The Lord Jesus would NOT want you to endure NOR you child to watch an abusive man..PERIOD. So I don't think that it is black and white, I believe you should pray about it and be led by PEACE. I believe with all of my heart you are free to marry again but ONLY a Christian.



OK, why only a Christian (said she, a Catholic married to a Jew)?

Christian/non christian/Jewish all have their place. For a person to marry outside of their faith starts the marriage with one foot in the grave so to speak. If a person marries within their faith at least that part of the union does not generally become a problem.

Christian/non christian/Jewish all have their place. For a person to marry outside of their faith starts off the marriage with one foot in the grave so to speak. If a person marries within their faith at least that part of the union does not generally become a problem.


Donn, do you actually believe this? One foot in the grave?

I don't think you can genralize like this. I'd be very curious in the statistics concerning "mixed marriages" and divorces but I'm sure there aren't any because no one much cares except for this thread.

I don't know if I'd have the guts for a mixed religious marriage because it must be pretty complicated when children come into the picture. But I wouldn't knock anyone else's "mixed marriage" because I had a non-mixed marriage and that turned out pretty badly.

Wow...i grew up in a somewhat legalistic place so I KNOW of what you speak. You know, the apostle Paul didn't even give the Church the go ahead and remarry even for adultry. ( Jesus did in the Gospels) Abuse is NEVER to be tolerated and I think good ol common sense needs to come into play here. The Lord Jesus would NOT want you to endure NOR you child to watch an abusive man..PERIOD. So I don't think that it is black and white, I believe you should pray about it and be led by PEACE. I believe with all of my heart you are free to marry again but ONLY a Christian.

I don't have my Bible with me right now... but I was reading last night in the gospels and I got the impression from Jesus' brief words on the subject that He considered re-marriage adultery too. Where did you find that Jesus grants remarriage in cases of adultery?

Judy,
Did not expect you to agree with me about that. And it may have been a bad analogy, I have to defer to scriptures about what it says about marrying outside of the church. It is not frowned upon, but it is clearly taught that you should if at all possible marry within your church.

Well, I'm not looking for our specific church to sanction the divorce. I had to just leave our church. So I guess I'm curious about Christianity in general.

What is the Roman Catholic take on divorce and what, if anything justifies it?

If the marriage is without defect and therefore valid, there is no divorce and remarriage permitted in the Catholic Church.

If the marriage is found defective, then it is void and annulled. Reasons for annulment are many.

Q. How could a marriage qualify for an annulment?
A. If any of the following conditions existed at the time of the wedding, it is possible that a marriage would qualify for an annulment:

* If the marriage ceremony was not legally acceptable to the Catholic Church (this affects only Catholics and Orthodox Christians)
* If either spouse was not free to marry
* If either spouse was not adequately prepared to understand, accept and fulfill God’s plan for married life as the Catholic Church teaches it
* If either spouse did not intend, from the beginning of marriage, to accept God’s plan for married life as taught by the Catholic Church (examples would be the refusal to have children, or to be faithful, or to marry for life.)
The Tribunal: Frequently Asked Questions (http://www.dioceseoftrenton.org/diocese/tribunalfaq.asp)

Sincerely,

De Maria

Judy,
Did not expect you to agree with me about that. And it may have been a bad analogy, I have to defer to scriptures about what it says about marrying outside of the church. It is not frowned upon, but it is clearly taught that you should if at all possible marry within your church.

Are you referring to the scripture that mentions people being "unequally yoked"?

(I am kicking myself for not having my little pocket New Testament with me so I can actually look these passages up.)

Well first please understand that people who condemn you without asking or knowing the facts are not being Christian, they be being nosey bussy bodies,

There are too many of them. And they hold double standards for women and men. If it is wrong for you, it is wrong for him, so their accepting him, is just a sign that those people are not following Christian teachings.

There are two levels of marriage in the US, marriage is controlled by the government and marriage is a civil contract. So with that you have the dual issue of breaking the contract that gives each specific rights to each other under state law.

From that you get a divorce, there really is no christian divorce document except though the catholic church where the Bishop gives a annulment of the marriage.

The divorce in court is the ending of the civil marriage, no matter if you are a christian or not.

The issue is that under and in a Christian marriage the husband is expected to be a Christian husband, loving and putting his wife ahead of hisself.

Obviously your husband had to be like this before the marriage, did you expect him to change?

Esp since your ex has moved on you are free to do so also.

So since we are forgiven while we should not look for ways to sin, at times life leads us into ways and things we have little control over.

In the real sense of the bible, just living together binds you in the flesh to that person ( as married) so there are many who sin of all types. But they can all be forgiven

Matt 5:32
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
(KJV)

Let's analize this.

According to Jesus, (and here he is addressing men, but it should be obvious that women would come under the same constaints) the only acceptable reason for divorce is adultry.

Now, if a man had an adulterous wife, divorced her, and then another man married her, he would be guilty of adultery.

So what about the first husband (or wife as the case may be)?

I can only give what I believe, and it is this:
If God grants a divorce, then you are divorced and I think you are in the same position as if your spouse were deceased.

That is only my opinion. You should not violate your conscience. Take what the scriptures say, but do not add difficulties that are not present.

Judy,
Did not expect you to agree with me about that. And it may have been a bad analogy, I have to defer to scriptures about what it says about marrying outside of the church. It is not frowned upon, but it is clearly taught that you should if at all possible marry within your church.



And if I had been in love with another Christian, that's the person I would have married. I did not and he was not.

My other concern is if somebody posted that White should only marry within their race; Blacks within their race; Hispanics (or anybody else) within their race, people would be screaming discrimination. When it comes to religion it somehow becomes acceptable to discriminate.

And, for the record, the Jewish part of my husband's family was not terribly thrilled - this is not just a Christian thing. Word is that they actually sat shiva. I don't know if they actually did.

Not a personal problem with you, Donn, and I hope you know that - it's just a thread on a board.

Well first please understand that people who condemn you without asking or knowing the facts are not being Christian, they be being nosey bussy bodies,

There are too many of them. And they hold double standards for women and men. If it is wrong for you, it is wrong for him, so thier accepting him, is just a sign that those people are not following Christian teachings.

There are two levels of marriage in the US, marriage is controled by the government and marriage is a civil contract. So with that you have the dual issue of breaking the contract that gives each specific rights to each other under state law.

From that you get a divorce, there really is no christian divorce document except though the catholic church where the Bishop gives a annulment of the marriage.

The divorce in court is the ending of the civil marriage, no matter if you are a christian or not.

The issue is that under and in a Christian marriage the husband is expected to be a Christian husband, loving and putting his wife ahead of hisself.

Obviously your husband had to be like this before the marriage, did you expect him to change ??

Esp since your ex has moved on you are free to do so also.

So since we are forgiven while we should not look for ways to sin, at times life leads us into ways and things we have little control over.

In the real sense of the bible, just living together binds you in the flesh to that person ( as married) so there are many who sin of all types. But they can all be forgiven

You know, I was kind of hoping that you specifically might weigh in on this one.

I definitely understand your clarification on the points of civil marriage and divorce. Thanks, that's something that is easy to overlook, so I appreciate the reminder.

As far as knowing that my husband was like this before we got married, in hindsight, there were red flags. He was very tender and gentle with me before we married though. His demeanor changed greatly as his mental health deterioriated shortly after we got married. But if I had been older and wiser I would have seen the signs before tying myself to him for life. I was only 16 when we began dating and 19 when we married so even though my age isn't an excuse since I made adult choices, I was naïve and thought that since our relationship had a Christian foundation, we could work through anything.

So since my husband has moved on, I would be free to remarry someday? I must confess, the thought of spending this life alone is rather daunting. I don't know if I can resist my flesh indefinitely. I was a virgin when we married but am obviously no longer. And I crave that companionship that I thought would come with marriage. I know that if God's will for my life is that I will remain single then He will equip me with the ability to do so, but I don't know how.

I really appreciate your input.

I don't have my Bible with me right now... but I was reading last night in the gospels and I got the impression from Jesus' brief words on the subject that He considered re-marriage adultery too. Where did you find that Jesus grants remarriage in cases of adultery?

Check out Mathew 5:31. I googled it because I didn't have a Bible handy. If it IS the verse I am referring to.. he says it pretty clear.

Your husband was not loving you as Christ loves the church. He was living outside of Corinthians where it shows the chain the woman submits to the man BUT the man submits to God. How can you submit when the chain is broke? It says for women should submit to their husbands, the Bible also tells men several times how they are supposed to treat their wives. The husband is not to take on the role of the dictator, but show respect for his wife and her opinions as well. “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it...” (Ephesians 5:28-29). “So I say again, each man must love his wife as he loves himself.

You say you have found out about his cheating so it only FURTHER proves you did the right thing.
The Bible says if the unbeliever leaves then you are free... by his behavior he left the marriage even though he did not do so officially by divorcing you.

I think you DO have grounds for a divorce called mental abuse, fear of harm to you and your child. Fir a parent to be in constant fear of harm to her/his child is a LOT of mental abuse.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

You divorced him because you feared for your life as well as your sons . God knows your heart you didn't leave him just for the hec of it . Or cause you got tired of him. Or wanted to go out and full around with other men... You did it because you have a good reason to . You feared for your life as well as your child's..

You can re marry . Under the circumstances of what happened from what Ive read I think god would be OK with it.

He wants man and woman to be truly happy. Take a look at adultry look at most people today they get married get tired of each other and move on and find someone else . Its as if marriage has just became a dating process till a person gets bored and moves on to the next . Trust me on this I'm starting to understand the lord pretty good of late . I think under the circumstances if your huband is a well wacko out to hurt you and children. God would be OK with you getn outa there. . Be happy re marry . The lord will understand your situation...

Second off your decission is between you and god . The church members have no say so in the matter. If they are pressuring you . You can always leave and find another church.
I don't know your church. But I do know certain churches for what ever reason think there all powerful and push around the followers to the extent they say you talk to who we tell you , you can talk to . Or if you don't do what we say we will take away your salvation and won't get it back till we let you have it back and if you happen to die before we decide to give you it back then god will punish you in hell. Jehova witnesses do this I've read . If a church tries to control you and psu you around. Leave and find another . The rev jimmy swaggart discussed this on TV before.

My advice move on and find you a nice christian man . Ever heard the saying what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger .

You should be a lot stronger after facing such a hardship as you have faced . Put your faith in the lord and everything will fall into place and be allright

Check out Mathew 5:31. I googled it because i didn't have a Bible handy. If it IS the verse I am referring to..he says it pretty clear.

It still sounds to me like Jesus is saying that remarriage is adultery. Can you explain where you read that Jesus accepts remarriage in cases of adultery?

GirlWSlingshot,
Yes that is what Jesus is saying.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

The Bible says that if the non believer leaves then the other is free.
Even though you left physically, he left in his heart long before.
All I know is God knows our heart and he can and does forgive.
Look at David he committed adultery and then had Uriah killed, yet God said that David was a man after his own heart. WHY?
I believe that once we are freed in our spirit to really know and love God with a pure heart then we can understand the difference between that and licentiousness.

It still sounds to me like Jesus is saying that remarriage is adultery. Can you explain where you read that Jesus accepts remarriage in cases of adultery?



That's what I was taught - remarriage is adultery - but I have no references to back up any of this, if it is or if it isn't.

It still sounds to me like Jesus is saying that remarriage is adultery. Can you explain where you read that Jesus accepts remarriage in cases of adultery?

If it's the one that most people quote me when defending remarriage, as we understand that verse, it is in cases of unmarried couples living together. The word used is "fornication".

Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Therefore, we believe the so-called "common law" marriages which are recognized by the State, are not true marriages in the eyes of God. They are cases of "fornication" and may be dissolved and the individuals are free to remarry.

Yes Jesus is saying that remarriage is adultery unless the husband dies you can not re marry . And if a person messes round on you , you can divroce them . Yes according directly to the bible you can not re marry ever again slingshot or touch another man that's what it says . I said maybe Jesus would make an exeption in your case cause of what's happening... But if you want to stick to all scripture or nothing. Than even if he beats you you can not divorce him

But I can't see Jesus seting up in heaven saying I don't care if that man breaks your arms ,legs and hurts your child you will stay with him or I will burn you in hell fire...

Im not holding any punches you want an honest answer your getting one

I would suggest talking to some preachers and asking them for advice . A preacher is a certified man of god and knows more about gods will than us in this chat room. If you like I could ask some preachers if there is some kind of loop hole and some how you can pull this off be OK with god and get a new hubby. If not I bid you good day and a merry christmas

De Maria,
Very good.
You are right.
Fred

If you like I could ask some preachers if there is some kinda loop hole and some how you can pull this off be ok with god and get a new hubby. if not I bid you good day and a merry christmas


I don't think there "loopholes" when it comes to theology, religion, the Bible.

I don't know that this is the place for this but I am confused about the whole "matter of conscience" when it comes to the Roman Catholic Church.

About 3 years ago a prominent business man/politician in my area, divorced from first wife (Catholic marriage), separated from second wife (civil marriage), committed suicide. Big Roman Catholic funeral, burial in RC cemetery. When people questioned it the Bishop said that it's up to God to judge, that it's a matter of conscience, that it is not the job of people to make judgments. Bishop spoke of the "sin" of being judgmental, driving other people from the Church, with one's opinions and judgments. I've been searching for the article and will continue to see if I can find it.

I remember the "old days" when you couldn't have a RC funeral and be buried in a RC cemetery if you were living outside the faith.

Would OP's question be a matter of conscience?

I know many very strong Christians that are divorced and remarried.
I have to ask does God forgive divorce and remarriage?
I would think he can and does just as he does for any of our sins and short comings. He can forgive an adulterer, a murderer, and anything else so why not a Christian that made a bad choice in who they married?

I know many very strong Christians that are divorced and remarried.
I have to ask does God forgive divorce and remarriage?
I would think he can and does just as he does for any of our sins and short comings. He can forgive an adulterer, a murderer, and anything else so why not a Christian that made a bad choice in who they married?



That's pretty much where I was going - you just said it better!

JudyKayTee,
I know a person who was married in a civil ceremony who was divorced and wanted to married a Catholic.
He went through The Church red tape of getting the first marriage annulled as though it had never been and married the Catholic.
The lived happily ever after.
Peace and kindness,
Fred
.

JudyKayTee,
I know a person who was married in a civil ceremony who was divorced and wanted to married a Catholic.
He went through The Church red tape of getting the first marriage annuled as though it had never been and married the Catholic.
The lived happily ever after.
Peace and kindness,
Fred
.



I understand that the first marriage was never recognized by the Church. No problem. Glad they lived happily ever after.

What about God and forgiveness and a matter of conscience?

JudyKayTee.
That is up to God on what He forgives.
It is my understanding tat he forgives a confessed person who has remores and asks for forgiveness.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

To this poster,

Quote:
Originally Posted by ironsheik7 View Post
If you like I could ask some preachers if there is some kind of loop hole and some how you can pull this off be OK with god and get a new hubby. If not I bid you good day and a merry christmas

You responded:

I don't think there "loopholes" when it comes to theology, religion, the Bible.

I don't know that this is the place for this but I am confused about the whole "matter of conscience" when it comes to the Roman Catholic Church.

About 3 years ago a prominent business man/politician in my area, divorced from first wife (Catholic marriage), separated from second wife (civil marriage), committed suicide. Big Roman Catholic funeral, burial in RC cemetery. When people questioned it the Bishop said that it's up to God to judge, that it's a matter of conscience, that it is not the job of people to make judgments. Bishop spoke of the "sin" of being judgmental, driving other people from the Church, with one's opinions and judgments. I've been searching for the article and will continue to see if I can find it.

I'm pretty sure Ironsheik is not representing the Catholic perspective.


I remember the "old days" when you couldn't have a RC funeral and be buried in a RC cemetery if you were living outside the faith.

Its still true today. I hope you find that story. If you do, make sure to double check the sources. Not everything that the Newspapers print is true.


Would OP's question be a matter of conscience?

I think it would be a matter of canon law. Here's a real good resource to contact on the matter.

Experts Answer Catholic Faith Questions on EWTN (http://www.ewtn.com/vexperts/conference.htm)

However, since she isn't Catholic, she'll probably just be referred to her Church.

De Maria,
Very good.
I think the person with the divorce question is an Episcopal r Anglican.
Fred

I think we should see what Church the OP is referring to.

N0help4u's
I could not find it.
If you know please let me know.
Thanks,
Fred

It still sounds to me like Jesus is saying that remarriage is adultery. Matthew 5:32[/B] But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

When Jesus speaks about her that is divorced He means the woman that is rightfully divorced and not any divorced woman ,because to God a woman that is divorced for any other reason except adultery is not considered divorced but still remains a wife! Whosoever shall marry a rightfully divorced woman commits adultery!


[/QUOTE]Can you explain where you read that Jesus accepts remarriage in cases of adultery?[/QUOTE]

Marriage is a testament of two parts.If one part breaks it while the other part honours it , then the second part is free of that testament , therefore free to make a new one!
If it isn't so then why is God going from testament to testament with us although we keep on breaking it? He is our example!
Your ex did not honour your testament , so you are free to make a new one and you will be the one to choose with who you will make that new testament, Christian or not.
Did Joseph marry an Israelite? Did Moses? Was Ruth an Israelite? But Jesus came out of Ruth's genealogy!!
All I am saying is... let your Father give you , your husband !

Marriage is a testament of two parts.If one part breaks it while the other part honours it , then the second part is free of that testament , therefore free to make a new one!
If it isn't so then why is God going from testament to testament with us although we keep on breaking it? He is our example!
Your ex did not honour your testament , so you are free to make a new one and you will be the one to choose with who you will make that new testament, Christian or not.
Did Joseph marry an Israelite? Did Moses? Was Ruth an Israelite? But Jesus came out of Ruth's genealogy!!!
All I am saying is ...let your Father give you , your husband !

Thank you, that was a very thoughtful and insightful response. It made very good sense.

What does the god in your heart tell you? Stop looking for approval outside yourself. Deep in your soul you know the answer." Be Still and know that I am God" Be still long enough to listen to your heart.

I believe my god is a god of common sense.
Did you fear for the safety of yourself and your child? Yes.
Do you own the decision for your ex to remarry? No
Should you have to live alone for the rest of your life because you could not predict the future of this man's behavior when you married him? No way.
God's common sense shows you did nothing wrong and shouldn't have to repent for the rest of your time on this earth.

I think you absolutely did the right thing to leave him, the sooner the better and I applaud you courage to take this action.
All of the other people showing their "disapproval" of your decision were not married to him and I believe have a hell of a nerve to look down on you. Their opinions, their chosen bible verses, their interpretation of those scriptures don't add up to a hill of beans. And this goes for any particular "church" too.

The only thing you have to answer to is your heart, your god and your conscience.

Be happy and listen to your heart/god when and if you choose husband #2. Choose wisely!

adam7gur,
Ypurs is a good sense answer.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

Matthew 5:32[/B] But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

When Jesus speaks about her that is divorced He means the woman that is rightfully divorced and not any divorced woman ,because to God a woman that is divorced for any other reason except adultery is not considered divorced but still remains a wife! Whosoever shall marry a rightfully divorced woman commits adultery!


Can you explain where you read that Jesus accepts remarriage in cases of adultery?[/QUOTE]

Marriage is a testament of two parts.If one part breaks it while the other part honours it , then the second part is free of that testament , therefore free to make a new one!
If it isn't so then why is God going from testament to testament with us although we keep on breaking it? He is our example!
Your ex did not honour your testament , so you are free to make a new one and you will be the one to choose with who you will make that new testament, Christian or not.
Did Joseph marry an Israelite? Did Moses? Was Ruth an Israelite? But Jesus came out of Ruth's genealogy!!
All I am saying is... let your Father give you , your husband ![/QUOTE]

Any other reason except adultery??? What about a wife that is beaten or abused by her husband in any other way? Is she bound to remain married in the eyes of god?:confused:

Not honoring the testament means the husband was hard hearted which would cover beating and abusive behavior.
Also the Bible says whatever God put together let no man put asunder. If God put them together he would be submissive to God and honor his wife.

NOhelp4U,
You have made a very interesting point...
Thanks,
Fred

cozyk
If adultery of the flesh is a reason for divorce before God, how much more is adultery of the mind?Adultery is not only about sleeping with someone else except your husband/wife, it is about not keeping the testament!
Hope that helped you understand that God has the common sense you are talking about.If we cannot see it then it is not God's mistake , it is ours!
So to answear your question... beating and abusing IS adultery!!

adam7gur,
I like your reasoning on that.
It makes sense to me.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

Your husband was not loving you as Christ loves the church. He was living outside of Corinthians where it shows the chain the woman submits to the man BUT the man submits to God. How can you submit when the chain is broke? It says for women should submit to their husbands, the Bible also tells men several times how they are supposed to treat their wives. The husband is not to take on the role of the dictator, but show respect for his wife and her opinions as well. “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it...” (Ephesians 5:28-29). “So I say again, each man must love his wife as he loves himself.

You say you have found out about his cheating so it only FURTHER proves you did the right thing.
The Bible says if the unbeliever leaves then you are free....by his behavior he left the marriage even though he did not do so officially by divorcing you.

Very good!

adam7gur,
Yes, that is very good.
Peace and kindness,
Fred