What's up guys and gals! Just thought I toss out a new topic in my life. As most of you know I am in a relationship and everything. Well lately she has been really "off" and depressed, kind of snapping on me. She hasn't been able to find a job and her ex recently was released from the rehab facility. So today she snapped on me again and then when I thought everything was fine and we were going good through texts... I get the line "we need to talk tonight when you get home"


I just really needed to get that off my chest, I know the whole don't just to conclusions stuff and just be relaxed but it still weighed pretty heavy.

Hard to say, and obviously your mind wants to jump to conclusions. I HATE that line. May as well just leave work now and have that talk, cause work productivity drops to zero at that point. She seems really stressed though, so who knows man... I am as perplexed as you are.

Eeek. What a sick feeling! You know that it is not going to be about anything you did, but what she is going through, right? Or maybe it isn't even what you are expecting.

I know how hard it is to love (care) for someone while they are going through trying times. I have been there. Best of luck tonight! Give an update!

Yea I know... Sucks with work... I'm like come on! Now the time is going to drag by and no way can you have a talk like that over text. And who knows what's going through her head but whenever someone gives you that "we need to talk" line, immediately you think "Sh!t it's over. I'm trying to not jump to conclusions and am fighting the urge to text her a bunch. Thankfully I have this site to filter out my thoughts and urges ha ha.

Southern, I agree it is EXTREMELY hard to see them going through hard times. It's like you are the one who is helping the most but often times that puts you in the cross hairs when the wraith hits!

You have a good head on your shoulders and know it is stupid to immediately think of the worst possible conclusion (even though we do). Keep your head up. I am sure it is something that doesn't have anything to do with your relationship.

If the worst comes to the worst, take some of your own advice mate.

Yea, It does show one thing, how much I have changed over the year since my break up because last year, it would have been me texting up a storm and begging for some type of explanation and what's going to happen to us. Now I know to give it space and even though the worst possible scenario is in my head, I'm not going to immediately suck into that one.

Dazt, yep. The thing about it all is, I know have so many support lines that I know I can get through it a lot better. I have made a great circle of friends on here and everything, I came here last year a cocky kid who wanted to find out ways to get his ex back and now I am the one telling the same cocky kids that it ended for a reason.

I'm not going to give you false hope or anything because I have no idea what she's going through, but if it makes you feel better I've told my husband that we need to talk before because there's something we need to go over that I just don't want to forget to tell him. Just like a "set some time aside later so we can discuss something." I know my mother-in-law says "we need to talk" a lot and it always got my husband and I in a panic. Once she asked if I wanted to move in with them (before we got married). So it's not always bad.

Very true. You learn a lot when you join this website don't you?

Anyway - it might not be what you think it is. But, if it is, you've been here before and you got through, you can do it again.

We're right there with you!

Ha ha Yea, I know it's not always bad and she is under a lot of stress and it could be a simple apology for how she has been treating me. She is really nervous about her ex because of their past and how he treated her, the whole out of work thing.

Just whenever someone hears that line, you always think of the worst

Ha ha Yea, I know it's not always bad and she is under a lot of stress and it could be a simple apology for how she has been treating me. She is really nervous about her ex because of their past and how he treated her, the whole out of work thing.

Just whenever someone hears that line, you always think of the worst

That's true, but the way I look at it, if you think the worst and it's nothing, it feels a lot better than being surprised with bad news.

Dazt, Yep.. This site has been such a great aid to everything in my life, relationships usually go a lot smoother when you learn some of the things that I have on this site.

So have you spoken with her. Do you know what the poblem is?

I know the line we need to talk, Means a bad news in a relationship

But it could be many many things! She could even say sorry for being so snappy lately.

Anyway I hope it all works out for you :)

Yea, It does show one thing, how much I have changed over the year since my break up because last year, it would have been me texting up a storm and begging for some type of explanation and what's going to happen to us. Now I know to give it space and even though the worst possible scenario is in my head, I'm not going to immediately suck into that one.

I guess I'd ask for a headline. You obviously ARE worried. I think if I asked for some time to talk to someone, I'd tell them what I wanted to talk about. So you think it's bad to let her know that her remark has you worried? I guess I could go either way on this. In any case, it's only a few hours.

No, she was completely vague and don't really want to push the envelope with the issue. I told her I am worried, and she said "why" and I told her I have only gotten that line twice in my life and it never worked out well and she goes "ok then"

Well. That does not sound like the best reply
You poor your heat out and she goes OK then..

Well if I was you man I would personaly ring her up and say look.
If you want to talk to me about some personaly issue you are having awesome but

If you are going to break up with me just do it. Because I really don't want to drive all the way to your house to be dumped.
And 2nd I really need to get on with my work

So what's it to be?

We live together ha ha... So I have to go home and face her anyway. I'm doing my best to just calm down because I feel if I call her I will only be angry and she wants to talk face to face. I would like to know if it is ending though.

The waiting game is what sucks about this!! They always know how to push our buttons in our mind don't they?

Dude you have to update us.. to see what she says

I hate waiting as well! Arf!

I feel like I need to call her now. I am totally unproductive at work now. Thanks Rome! :)

Seems to me that she wants to tell you what's on her mind. It might not be anything bad so don't worry until you know what its about.

I wish I could update you guys on what is going on, as well as calm my rational right now.

Oh, word of advice! Googling "we need to talk" does NOT yield promising results, well unless you want your relationship to end.

Stop worrying :D! Patience is a virtue.. if she wants to end it, it wasn't meant to be..

With your quote on the bottom of your profile it sounds like you are quite ready for whatever is about to come your way... I've been googling lumps on the babies head and that's not got me anywhere.. so maybe don't really on Google to provide you with answers

Lol.. This is true... Just sucks I got the line at 12pm and I don't get home until 5

Ha ha Chrissaay, I know Google doesn't have all the answers but I sure wish it did. Would make things a lot less stressful in life

Yikes.. its well past 5pm here in England! Its nearly 7pm

So I finally texted her saying "I can't be kept on a string the way I am. If it's a personal matter then tell me, but if you are going to end it please tell me now.

She responded "No way am I ending it, I just really wanted to apologize in person for the way I have been treating you. You have been there for me all along and to take things out on you isn't fair to you. I'm sorry"

So for once, I get get all worked up for nothing. Thanks to everyone for keeping my head on straight and not letting me fly off the handle

Good news man! Good thing you didn't over react! :)

Lol Yea I know... I could have flipped out and sent a thousand texts and push her over her breaking limit. I simply stated how I felt the best I could without being aggressive and then just let it happen.

Whoever says this site doesn't have use after you healed is so wrong ha ha.

Awww G-Man... will be thinking of you!! Hope its nothing... Just assure her that you're not going anywhere, remind her of the special-ness that you two have, and listen to her. She's going through a lot of emotions now with this ex thing...

Here's hoping for the best!

Oops... answered before I read the thread... Phew!! :D Good!

Lol thanks Historian! I know she is going through a lot with this arseclown getting out. We have the girls to think about and it's stressful for both of us. We meet him Saturday and have already typed up the "rules" and holiday visitation, she wants it to be made clear to him that she wants nothing to do with him or his life other than about the girls. He tried texting her a few days ago about stuff she has been up to and she flat out said not to text her unless it's about the girls.

Good for her. She's being a good Mom. I'm proud of you for being there for her during all of this. And especially at Christmas... yuck. Keep that chin up. It will get better!

Rome - when you get home, be sure to say a quick sorry for considering the other possibility, when she brings up the other stuff.

Thanks everyone! And I will Wolf.. I can swallow my pride with the best of them lol

Good Luck Rome. I read a lot of your advice and it is always dead on. Hope everything turns out to be something not so bad and you both get through it.

Ha! I called it!

FAITH wins that one

I said that she would probable just say sorry for the way she was acting!

And hell yeah. You told her if your going to end it. End it now!

Way to be the Alpha male dawg ;)

And HA I got a REDI from dazt.

It was sound advice ;) thanks

Never had any worry that you would have dealt with whatever comes your way.

Glad it turned out great.

Thanks Tal and everyone else who helped me through it all!

Wow I hate that line, emotionally does she feels secure in the relationship? Have you been supportive during her time of unemployement? Let me tell you sometime not having a job can way down on someone real hard. Trust me when I say this, she is feeling overwhelm a little. It's not your fault, her emotions are all over the place. Also when you have that talk with her the key thing to do is LISTEN let her vent. The last thing you want to do is turn it into an argument. Please keep me updated

Well done Rome , amazing the lessons we learn from this site.

Makes trying to help others all that more worthwhile :)

Karma is a wonderful thing!

I'm really glad that everything is OK! Honestly, I was waiting to get back home to see what happened. I had a feeling that you had nothing to worry about.

Whenever I get that text, I usually respond with, "Yeah, we do...last night, I came home, and dinner was cold, the dishes weren't done, and I'm running out of clean underwear."

Just kidding.

Good to hear you're still alive and kicking. How're the little munchkins?

Ha! i called it!

FAITH wins that one

i said that she would probable just say sorry for the way she was acting!

and hell yeah. you told her if your gonna end it. end it now!

way to be the Alpha male dawg ;)

and HA i got a REDI from dazt.

It was sound advice ;) thanks

Haha I totally saw that as well. I wanted to give you a balancer but your advice is always so good that I needed to spread the rep.

On another note were all happy you kept your cool rome. Glad the world did not blow up in your face.

Ha ha Sneezy, the little munchkins are good... Causing problems as usual but I wouldn't expect anything less from 2 girls lol. They are already saying those stupid Jonas brothers are their boyfriends! Someone help!! Ha ha...

Jonas Brothers?? That is exactly why I cannot have daughters... Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers... why can't they just enjoy stuff I like to listen too? Probably not going to happen.. :)

Nope it won't. I find it funny that they think they are cute because we have already decided that they aren't dating until they are 18.

You DO realize that by the time we have kids, we'll talk about britney spears, kanye, madonna, etc. they'll consider them the "oldies"?

Oh dear god! Ha ha... Maybe I can trap them in a closet and only let them listen to these "oldies"