Have recently split up with a g/f after 7yrs soon after having a kidney removed with cancer. I've got the all clear now but feel lonely as I miss the companionship of being in a relationship. I’d just like to meet and date again and be more sociable. As I don’t drink going to pubs is not my thing. I’m not a clubber either and use the gym t work so I’m finding it difficult meeting new people . I’m a positive and strong minded person, though possessing excellent diplomacy skills so feel I’m a good catch! LOL Have always dated people I have known socially so have never done the ‘pick-up; scene.

What advice could you give re a natural route to meeting women for friendship and possibly more that’s not sordid or tacky?

What's the rush? People come along when you least expect it and stop looking. Don't try to force a new relatinship but give yourself time to heal from the last one. What's for you won't pass you by!

First of all, I would like to commend you for going through such a difficult time in your life, and still having such a positive attitude about your future. It sounds like any woman would be lucky to have you!

What are your interests and hobbies? You might try getting involved in a co-ed sport, Since you like to go to the gym, it sounds like you are an athletic person. How about volunteering some of your free time to a cause you believe in. Cancer causes might be a good place to start. You just may meet some women that have gone through similar things, and are easy for you to relate to. There are lots of women in breast cancer fund raisers! ;)... and you would be helping to raise money at the same time.

You could also try coffee houses. You sound personable, so you shouldn't have much of a problem with striking up a conversation with someone. Just put yourself out there, and you shouldn't have too much of a problem.

Good luck! :)

OMG I must admit that fundraising stuff isn't really my bag and feel it would be inappropriate to pursue that just to meet women! :) Great suggestion though!

As a starter for ten are there any typical do's and don'ts that are par for the course re friendship creation? Basically just want t the ability to go watch plays, movies etc with company...

I didn't mean to get involved in charity work specifically just to meet women, you would be helping contribute, but is definitely a place where you would have the opportunity to meet women. For instance, twice a yr. my sister and her friends form a team, and walk for breast cancer. It's fun, they dress up in stupid costumes, have crazy fun, and meet other people on the walk. There are both guys and girls in the walk. Last yr. she met her now fiancée on the walk, and they are getting married next yr. So it was just a thought.

As far as creating a friendship, just be yourself first and foremost.

Make eye contact with women, and smile.

Don't use silly pick up lines, like haven't we met before, or the old "did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven" Uugghhh!

Be genuinely interested and attentive to what the person is saying.

Compliment her (if you mean it!) on something that strikes you. Her eyes, smile, the way she smells, her outfit, etc.

Ask her about herself, instead of talking about you, unless she asks. Ask what she does for a living, and then ask a few questions about her job or career. Or ask her about other interests, and go from there!

Don't invite her to your flat right off the bat. If you arrange a date, plan something fun that is neutral, so she doesn't feel pressure. For example, don't plan a huge romantic dinner for your first date.

Don't ask too much about her personal life right away. Keep the conversation to career, hobbies, other activities, etc.

That's just off the top of my head, and it's late in the AM here in Canada, so my brain is a little tired. Haha! I'm sure others will come along and give you some other suggestions.

Make a list of things you like to do and make a plan to pursue them.

My advice has always been to build a life that you enjoy, with people and activities, that make you happy.

Build the life that makes you happy, and they will come.