PDA

View Full Version : Visitation safey issue


jade4141
Dec 9, 2008, 07:36 AM
Hi.. I was awarded sole legal and physical custody in our divorce decree<Md>.He was given reasonable visitation with advanced notice and basically comes and goes as he pleases with the last absence being a year long before he decided to come around again.My ex is a member of a 1%er motorcycle gang that he joined after we split up,he is also ironically a repo-man even though he himself is $23,000 in arrears for CS.He currently has a general contempt order in place and still makes no payments.. anyway.. I found out that he *hides* repo-ed cars:), uses them for personal use<which Im sure is not legal> and then picked the kids up this Sunday in one.I do not want my kids placed in situations that are illegal and worry about their safety because of his affiliations.. what if any are my chances of getting supervised visitation based on his actions?Thank you

cdad
Dec 9, 2008, 01:58 PM
Hi..I was awarded sole legal and physical custody in our divorce decree<Md>.He was given reasonable visitation with advanced notice and basically comes and goes as he pleases with the last absence being a year long before he decided to come around again.My ex is a member of a 1%er motorcycle gang that he joined after we split up,he is also ironically a repo-man even tho he himself is $23,000 in arrears for CS.He currently has a general contempt order in place and still makes no payments.. anyways..I found out that he *hides* repo-ed cars:), uses them for personal use<which Im sure is not legal> and then picked the kids up this Sunday in one.I do not want my kids placed in situations that are illegal and worry about their safety because of his affiliations ..what if any are my chances of getting supervised visitation based on his actions?Thank you

What proof do you have that he IS doing anything illegal ? That's really what the courts are going to want to know. Is belonging to a motercycle club illegal ? ( no ) So at best its guilt by assc. Until he crosses a line then your not really looking at anything illegal. So going for supervised visitation at best is a crap shoot unless your holding proof.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 9, 2008, 04:07 PM
Go back to court with all of your evidece and proof, to get his visits restricted.

jade4141
Dec 10, 2008, 04:59 AM
It's not illegal to be MS13 either but it doesn't mean my kids should be involved in the lifestyle.Being around people who've been convicted of murder is probably not the healthiest environment.I have a 3 inch file folder of "proof" including traffic violations involving speeding and the kids ,ages 9 & 8,not wearing seat belts.Putting a club's needs before your children's is wrong,you may not agree,but kids should always come first. I have to deal with the kids feelings at being blown off by their father sometimes for weeks at a time usually without a phone call that he's not coming.No I'm not a vindictive ex ,it would be nice if I could send my kids off without worrying that a state troopers going to be knocking on my door.It would be nice if he took care of them financially but he chooses not to.Such is life unfortunately.

JudyKayTee
Dec 10, 2008, 06:10 AM
It's not illegal to be MS13 either but it doesn't mean my kids should be involved in the lifestyle.Being around people who've been convicted of murder is probably not the healthiest environment.I have a 3 inch file folder of "proof" including traffic violations involving speeding and the kids ,ages 9 & 8,not wearing seat belts.Putting a club's needs before your children's is wrong,you may not agree,but kids should always come first. I have to deal with the kids feelings at being blown off by their father sometimes for weeks at a time usually without a phone call that he's not coming.No I'm not a vindictive ex ,it would be nice if I could send my kids off without worrying that a state troopers going to be knocking on my door.It would be nice if he took care of them financially but he chooses not to.Such is life unfortunately.


Arguing with people who are trying to help you is never a good idea.

Kids should come first, yes. Should you protect them, yes. If you've been collecting evidence long enough to have a 3" file, you probably should have made your move before this.

So go to Court and prove your accusations.

As far as the financial end - are you concerned about safety during visitation or child support? Again - if you aren't getting support, go back to Court, get an Order, get it enforced.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 10, 2008, 06:23 AM
All you can do is go to court, or refuse to let him see the kids and hope he does not take you back to court for contempt. That in real life is your only two choices. ** or try and move far away, another state perhaps

I know courts are not fair and even with great evidence they are slow to act, I have had that happen to me time and again, but court is your only real choice.

** and to be a little mean, this is the man you made a choice to sleep with and have a kid by, so a little better choice earlier in life would have prevented this.

jade4141
Dec 10, 2008, 07:38 AM
Arguing with people who are trying to help you is never a good idea.I really wasn't arguing just making a point.I know people are trying to help and I appreciate it.My concern is safety,receiving CS won't replace my kids if something were to happen to them.The CS issue is already being addressed.I disagree with his lifestyle and he can do what he wants as long as he keeps the kids from being involved and doesn't place them in immediate danger .The issue is his behaviors when he does have them.He wasn't always this way ,he was a really good dad at one time.

jade4141
Dec 10, 2008, 07:46 AM
All you can do is go to court, or refuse to let him see the kids and hope he does not take you back to court for contempt. That in real life is your only two choices. ** or try and move far away, another state perhaps

I know courts are not fair and even with great evidence they are slow to act, I have had that happen to me time and again, but court is your only real choice.

** and to be a little mean, this is the man you made a choice to sleep with and have a kid by, so a little better choice earlier in life would have prevented this.
__________________Well I'm not going to refuse visitation,he's the only one allowed to violate the court orders.He became a far different person after 7 yrs of marriage and I take full responsibility for my poor choice but got 2 great kids out of it:)