12 Things Not to Say to a Cop



I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

Are you Andy or Barney?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not going to check the trunk are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

When the Officer says "Gee Son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?", you probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?"

"Aren't you the guy from the Village People?"

Nice.

I like the last one. :)

When he/she pulls out the ticket book, say:
"I'll take a cheesburger, fries, and a chocolate shake."

(I liked #1 & 7)

In real life I have actually heard

" I pay your salary" I told them I needed a raise.

And while not as funny, some of the real ones,

"don't you know who I am" my answer no sir that is why I asked to see your license

"I will have your job for this" my answer, you would not want it sir, you have to put up with people like you

And of course the guy with the joint behind his ear who could not understand how I knew he had drugs in the car