Just a little backstory before I go into my question.

I was not born a naturally gifted athlete, nor was I born with a gifted athletic body. But I was born with a semi-athletic mind. When I was younger I did everything. Soccer, Skiing, T-Ball, Football for 1 year. But the thing was, I wasn't in very good shape. Lets just say by 5th grade I had a 2nd chin.

Now I entered Wrestling at 6th grade.I was a naïve little fat kid who thought that wrestling would be like WWE. Boy, was I wrong. It was really tough for me my first year, I was out of shape and I had no idea what I was doing. The whole time I would cry to my mother begging to quit and she would not let me.

So I told myself in 7th grade that I would not do it again. But something about wrestling, that feeling made me want to contuine the sport, and I did. And happily my very first match in 7th grade I won! I was extatic. Now in Middle School Wrestling where I lived the season was 4 dual meets and 2 tournaments. And trust me I really, really, REALLY wanted a medal my 7th and 8th grade year. But I never got it... and It killed me inside. 6 times in 3 years I had sat down in the stands congradlating my team mates on their medals and yet I couldn't have one on my own.

So In my 3 years of middle school wrestling I got a pretty good body (well a lot better than where I was) But stilll no medal. So When I moved down here to Tenneessee I had no idea what to expect in High School Wrestling. So I joined my team and well lets just say I was introduced to weight cutting. Granted in middle I watched my weight and worked out after practice. But my freshmen year I came in at 5 "6" and 143 lbs. Now I had the hardest time maintaing 140 last year. I wore layers, I cut out some foods. Then on Tournament days I would end up stuffing my face and the process went on again. But unfournately. I STILL didn't get my damn medal in freshmen year! Even in the freshmen only tournaments I just.. couldn't win. So I told myself I would work extra hard over the off season. I joined football and let their weight lifting program take me over. I even went to a wrestling camp to broaden my already fundametally sound move set. I've a very good techincially wrestler... I just don't have great arm Strength

But a Sophomore this year I expected the worst and boy did I get it. I came in at 5 "8" and 146 lbs and was ready to tackle anything in my path. And so far My Biggest enemy has been weight control and weight classes. See I had originally told myself 140 because I can't beat anyone at 145. Well I hit my training plan hard. My usual day would be this

Breakfast: Banana
Lunch: 2 pieces of turkey, 1 piece of whole wheat bread, and an apple
Practice: Layers would include Under Armour, a shirt, and a hoodie in a heat induced wrestling room. Most of the time we'd run between 1.5-2 miles then wrestle. By then I'm soaking wet and dehydrated when I got home
Dinner:Salmon, a Salad, and some yogurt. Then I would also run some more. I started running 1.1 miles, then 2.2. Eventually I weighted in at Hydration test 138 lbs and 9.something body fat. They told me the most I could go down was 132, which meant I could wrestle 135. Now I'm naturally at 146 person and I didn't want to get down to 135. I would feel like , I'd be crancky, my body just doesn't like it. But... because I can't beat the 140 either and our 135 can't maintain his weight I had to get down to 135... and lets just say that I don't enjoy being down here at all. To maintain weight I end up eating a Banana, same lunch as before, and a salad with chicken almost everday! That's IT! Whenever I get the snack munchies I usually end up eating a load of grapes, melon, whatever fruit I can find. If I'm not at school then I end up running 5.2 Miles a day. That's what I did at Thanksgiving to make sure I stayed down after eating.

I can't take all this feeling hungry and being sore constantly and not getting something out of it, granted my body has adjusted to my new diet. My weight is taking over my life, and I'm paranoid about it. I like Wrestling a lot, and If I hadn't joined in middle school there's no way I would have the body I have today. Trust me I couldn't have imagined ever being able to run 5 miles everday for a week. But I don't want to live like this, and I just want some appreication *cough* A MEDAL *cough* for all this hard work. I must have put in at least over 70 miles running into wrestling. Everyday I'm starting to lean towards quitting if I don't get a medal this year. Yes my mind will say "ALL THAT WORK FOR NOTHING" and at days I'll feel like crap for being a quitter but I'm just sick, and tired of living in misery! Sick and tired of sitting at the lunch table with an apple while everyone else is eating real food and not giving a care in the world about their weight. Also, With the holiday's coming up and the baking I want to be a part off (Because all I think about is food) and yet. With my schedule I won't be able to do anything:(
Thoughts?

Guy, just so you know, living in misery as you put it is not worth a medal. YOu enjoy what you are doing, work hard at doing it... but you are still suppose to enjoy it. I am sure proud of you for making all of these crappy adjustments but Guy, you are miserable. Failure is not in your nature, I have seen it in too many of your posts. You aren't a failure if you don't get a medal. In my mind, you are one of the hardest working and devoted kids out there... there is something to be said for that. (comparing you to many other kids I know) You are a great kid and you shouldn't have to stress out about your weight! Striving to be the best you can be is the most important thing here. And you do that! Good luck at the tournaments, I just know you will do great.
I don't know what else to say except you are a hard worker and at some point it WILL pay off sweet guy;)