KottonKandii
Dec 4, 2008, 08:11 PM
It seems that any more I go into periods of extreme sadness, they used to seem more spaced out like every few months, then it was every few weeks and now it's just constant. I feel like I could just cry on whim, +& I hate having suicidal thoughts because that's just not me. As if the emotional problems weren't causing me enough distress things in my life all of a sudden seem to hit the fan recently. My parents are always either yelling at each other or me, I've heard my mom tell numerous people she has no reason to be rpoud of me and if you knew my mother yu'd get why I can barely stand her she thinks she has every medical disease out the I swear and she treats my brother like he can do no wrong but w/e. My dad really is sick, in the past year he was diagnosed with COPD and Loopus I truly have a strong feeling of almost hatred for my father we never were close strictly because growing up I was isolated from my father because him and my mother were separated and soon after that we moved away from him when my mother fell ill (Brain tumor) we moved back in with him but even from early years all he's done is scream at me.. Sometimes he'll chase me into my room and raise his fist at me but he'll never hit me. On top of them always fighting and yelling at me I'm not very clsoe with any of my family and the one guy who means everything to me isn't exactly stable he was taken away from his mother and ran away from his brother to his best friends house he lived there until his friends mother started problems for him and he moved into a friends house. My only source of contact to him at the moment is through his friends cell which is rarely answered... We both hate it but anymore it just seems my emotion problems only persist... It's hard living here, a+& it even harder not being able to have a stable source of communication with the one person who makes me happy. So often I just want to run away from here and go live somewhere else..