I'm not hear to be judged, so please refrain.
I'm fourteen and my boyfriends fifteen, we've been intimate for a while now. However we just recently began having intercourse. (seriously don't judge me based on my age) I'm completely comfortable around him and we both care for each other a lot. But I'm just not getting pleasure or anything.
It still hurts a bit in fact.

We've always incorporated lots of foreplay, different positions, anything I want really but I barley feel a thing.. It just frusterating!
I don't want to hurt his feelings but I think he's starting to take it personally.

Hes gone down on me and it feels okay, would feel better if I could feel it more "strongly"?
He's knows what I like, he knows how I like it.
He'll do anything I want but nothings helping.

Help..

Number one,I can't morally propose any information.I think you are too young to start engaging in any sexual acts other than on yourself.

Teenage pregnancies have been such a problem for so many years,I seriously doubt you will get any help in here.

While I do appreciate your honesty,I can't see advising you in something I believe is wrong and irresponsible.

KBC

It is age, at 14 you are not phsycially or emotionally ready to be having sex.
And to be honest no one here will tell a child how to have good sex.

I don't see how you think you should be getting preasure when you are not even old enough about you own body to know what might produce pleasure.
You said not to judge you but you put yourself out here in the open and out in public so now people have a right to jucge you if they so desire.

I am sure that there will be some that give you answers more fitting to your question, but not me.

You're 14 years old, your body isn't ready for sex, that's why you aren't getting anything out of it.

Wait 6 or 7 years, you'll enjoy it more then. Better yet, wait until your engaged or married, it's even better then.

Ha seriously, these were the answers I was NOT looking for.
But its expected.

Look, I'm not an idoit. I'm have safe sex.

Letmetellu - Trust me, I'm veeerrrry aware of my own body and what produces pleasure. Please don't talk to me as if I'm a child.

Fr_Chuck - No one treats me as a child, and I'm not. So please don't talk to me as if I am one.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

This is extremely frusterating. How old to you have to be to be taken seirously? I posted my age to be honest about my situation and to try and find seriouse answers.

Please don't answer if your only going to reply with some "moral advice". I've had enough of that in my life, I don't need it from people I don't know.

It is age, at 14 you are not phsycially or emotionally ready to be having sex.
And to be honest no one here will tell a child how to have good sex.

Trust me, I'm both phsycially AND emotionally ready. Please don't tell me otherwise.

If you didn't want us to judge you, why would you tell us your ages?

Secondly your too young, in 2 years when your hopefully more mature I'm sure you will agree. Or in nine months when your pregnant, whatever comes first

Number one,I can't morally propose any information.I think you are too young to start engaging in any sexual acts other than on yourself.

Teenage pregnancies have been such a problem for so many years,I seriously doubt you will get any help in here.

While I do appreciate your honesty,I can't see advising you in something I believe is wrong and irresponsible.

KBC

Please don't tell me I don't know the meaning of love. Besides you don't need love to have sex. Although in this case I do believe it's there. Yeah maybe I am young but how old were romeo an juliet? Ha, yes that might sound stupid.

ha seriously, theese were the answers I was NOT looking for.
But its expected.

Look, I'm not an idoit. I'm have safe sex.
Letmetellu - Trust me, I'm veeerrrry aware of my own body and what produces pleasure. Please don't talk to me as if I'm a child.

Fr_Chuck - Noone treats me as a child, and I'm not. So please don't talk to me as if I am one.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.


There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. There is no birth control on the market that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STD's. In fact, you could still get pregnant or get an STD even when using three different birth control methods at once.

So don't claim to be having safe sex, because it doesn't exist.

As for not being a child. Honey, you're 14, you couldn't be more of a child. One day, 10 years from now, you'll look back on this and wonder what they heck you were thinking.

We all thought we were brilliant when we were 14, it takes growing up, learning, living, to realize how naïve you where then.

As for tips on sex. Well, you aren't even legally allowed to have sex at your age, so I won't help break the law by giving you tips. Sorry, if you want to continue with this you'll have to figure it out on your own.

If you didnt want us to judge you, why would you tell us your ages?

Secondly your too young, in 2 years when your hopefully more mature im sure you will agree. Or in nine months when your pregnant, whatever comes first

If a twenty year old was having protected sex would you assume they'd be getting pregnant? Probably not. I told my age to be honest.

You are 14. Your body hasn't even matured yet! There is a reason that you are suppose to wait until you're older to have sex. I know you will probably be angry with me, but that's fine. There is one chance in a million that the "relationship" you have with this boy will last even into your late teens. I know you will say that I'm wrong, and that you love each other and will be together forever, but there are so many corners you can't even see around right now.

You WILL grow up, and your thought process will change, your personalities will change, your likes and dislikes will change. Neither of you are going to have the same interests, same opinions, etc. once you grow up some. It just happens! It really does!

Right now you should be going to the mall with your friends, going to school dances with your gf's. doing your homework, playing sports, and all of the other things teens should do besides being sexually involved with a young boy. Do you know that if by some stroke of luck, the two of you are still together when you turn 17, he will be 18, and you will most likely be committing a crime? Sounds harsh, but I not saying it to be mean. I'm only saying it because it's the truth.

I know it's all fine right now, and you don't yet have the ability, because your brain hasn't yet fully developed, to see further on down the road, but I would stop worrying so much about sex, and start focusing on other things. There are too many pregnant teens, and there is just no way a 14 and 15 yr. old children, can raise a child. Think about it okay?

Sorry to disappoint you.This is a moral site.We believe in moral activities.Morally speaking of course.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

Responsible young persons DON'T HAVE SEX.Period.

There is NO SAFE SEX,by that I mean condoms break,yes really!

Birth control isn't 100% effective.

Can you even imagine what it would be like to have a child at 15 years old?Heck,your not even legal to drive,much less have a job that pays enough to support a kid.

Look up the amount of money it takes to raise a child from birth till 18,and then see what collage costs.

This could go on and on.

You did post this question and we are giving you really good advise,abstinence IS safe sex.

There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. There is no birth control on the market that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STD's. In fact, you could still get pregnant or get an STD even when using three different birth control methods at once.

So don't claim to be having safe sex, because it doesn't exist.

As for not being a child. Honey, you're 14, you couldn't be more of a child. One day, 10 years from now, you'll look back on this and wonder what they heck you were thinking.

We all thought we were brilliant when we were 14, it takes growing up, learning, living, to realize how naive you where then.

As for tips on sex. Well, you aren't even legally allowed to have sex at your age, so I won't help break the law by giving you tips. Sorry, if you want to continue with this you'll have to figure it out on your own.

I respect that, I know the "risks". Ahh but trust me, I've been through more and lived through more that most of the people you'd consider "old enough for sex". I'm extremely mature for my age and I'm not just saying that. He doesn't have any STDS, positive.
Don't call me "honey".

If a twenty year old was having protected sex would you assume they'd be getting pregnant? Probably not. I told my age to be honest.


Yes, there's a chance that a twenty year old will get pregnant even when using safer sex.

There is no safe sex, it's non existent, a myth. Any sex, protected or not can result in pregnancy or an STD!

Don't schools teach sex ed anymore?

Please don't tell me I don't know the meaning of love. Besides you don't need love to have sex. Although in this case I do believe its there. Yeah maybe I am young but how old were romeo an juliet? ha, yes that might sound stupid.

Well,that says a lot.

If you look at what I wrote,I never said anything about love.

I loved my teddy bear when I was 6.

Sorry to disappoint you.This is a moral site.We believe in moral activities.Morally speaking of course.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

Responsible young persons DON'T HAVE SEX.Period.

There is NO SAFE SEX,by that I mean condoms break,yes really!

Birth control isn't 100% effective.

Can you even imagine what it would be like to have a child at 15 years old?Heck,your not even legal to drive,much less have a job that pays enough to support a kid.

Look up the amount of money it takes to raise a child from birth till 18,and then see what collage costs.

This could go on and on.

You did post this question and we are giving you really good advise,abstinence IS safe sex.

Ah but obviously I'm not practicing abstinence. Yes, I'm aware of the small risks, I've thought everything through.

You are 14. Your body hasn't even matured yet! There is a reason that you are suppose to wait until you're older to have sex. I know you will probably be angry with me, but that's fine. There is one chance in a million that the "relationship" you have with this boy will last even into your late teens. I know you will say that I'm wrong, and that you love each other and will be together forever, but there are so many corners you can't even see around right now.

You WILL grow up, and you're thought process will change, your personalities will change, your likes and dislikes will change. Neither of you are going to have the same interests, same opinions, etc., once you grow up some. It just happens! It really does!

Right now you should be going to the mall with your friends, going to school dances with your gf's., doing your homework, playing sports, and all of the other things teens should do besides being sexually involved with a young boy. Do you know that if by some stroke of luck, the two of you are still together when you turn 17, he will be 18, and you will most likely be commiting a crime? Sounds harsh, but I not saying it to be mean. I'm only saying it because it's the truth.

I know it's all fine right now, and you don't yet have the ability, because your brain hasn't yet fully developed, to see further on down the road, but I would stop worrying so much about sex, and start focusing on other things. There are too many pregnant teens, and there is just no way a 14 and 15 yr. old children, can raise a child. Think about it okay?!

Of course were not going to be together forever, I've realized this. But I'm with him now, and in this moment this is my choice. I do go to the mall, I do go to school dances. I do hangout with friends, but I'm also with him. And my feelings for him are real. I know he's not using me because I'm actually the one who pushed for this.

Yes, there's a chance that a twenty year old will get pregnant even when using safer sex.

There is no safe sex, it's non existent, a myth. Any sex, protected or not can result in pregnancy or an STD!

Don't schools teach sex ed anymore?

Aha barely. "this is a penish, and this is a vagina". I know all I need to know. As I said before I'm aware there are risks. Just like walking out your front door, getting in a car, meeting new people, going new places.

Well,that says a lot.

If you look at what I wrote,I never said anything about love.

I loved my teddy bear when I was 6.

It says a lot how? I misqouted, my bad.

One thing you may not have planned for is your boyfriend dumping you when you get pregnant. So basically he gets to go on with his life while you drop out of school to have this baby and if you don't return, you will not be able to go to college, and then you will be living with your parents for the rest of your life. Oh and if you pregnant, your peers at school will talk about you and call you names such as "slut" and such. Im not trying to be rude but my friend just had her baby and she's 16. It wasn't easy on her, luckily her parents helped her out A lot.

I respect that, I know the "risks". Ahh but trust me, I've been through more and lived through more that most of the people you'd consider "old enough for sex". I'm extremely mature for my age and I'm not just saying that. He doesn't have any STDS, positive.
Don't call me "honey".


Fine, no honey for you.

Do you think I give this advice because I'm some old fuddy duddy sitting at home knitting socks for my husband? I was 14 years old once too, and I made you look like a little angel. I learned the hard way what having sex at a young age does to you. I didn't listen to smarter people either, because I knew it all. I didn't know squat compared to what I know now, or even what I knew at 18.

If you want to ruin your life because you think you're so smart, then I can't do anything about that. But if you're as mature as you claim to be, you'll listen and let it all sink in.

I used protection too, and I got an STD, I'm lucky though, it was easily cleared up with a few months of antibiotics. I never got pregnant but that was because of a medical condition, so once again, I was lucky. I did everything you could imagine with as many guys as possible because I didn't give a damn about myself.

Now, here I am, 24 years later, I'm married, have two kids, and the one thing that I regret is what I did when I was young. I can't take that back, ever. You still have the time to make the right choices, or you live to regret it, and you will, trust me.

If you're in love and he loves you then you don't need to be having sex until you're old enough, and no, you aren't old enough!

ah but obviously I'm not practicing abstinence. Yes, I'm aware of the small risks, I've thought everything through.

Small risks?

Thought it all through?

Are you totally sure you are equipped to deal with a responsibility of this magnitude, you aren't being very responsible with this behavior.

I had sex early in life too,I was lucky there was no ultimate responsibility to greet me afterwards,I am only speaking to you from the heart,not just as a parent,but as one who has to see the posts on how a girl has to give up her child due to... this... or that... or no money... or drugs taking over...

You can't be ready,I don't care how much life you have lived,YOUR ONLY 14

::sigh::

It's not that anyone here will be able to reason with you, which in itself shows your maturity. You will not find the answers you are looking for here and it's unfortunate that you are in such a rush to grow up.

Maybe you should address this situation with your parents, if you are mature enough for sex, they will surely tell you how to make it pleasureable and they would know you far better than anyone in this forum...

Talk to them or your legal guardian.

aha barely. "this is a penish, and this is a vagina". I know all I need to know. As I said before I'm aware there are risks. Just like walking out your front door, getting in a car, meeting new people, going new places.

You don't even know how to spell penis.

One thing you may not have planned for is your bf dumping u when u get pregnant. So basically he gets to go on with his life while you drop out of school to have this baby and if you dont return, you will not be able to go to college, and then you will be living with your parents for the rest of your life. Oh and if you pregnant, your peers at school will talk about you and call you names such as "slut" and such. Im not trying to be rude but my friend just had her baby and shes 16. It wasnt easy on her, luckily her parents helped her out ALOT.

Its not uncommon for teens to have sex and not go through situations such as the one you just told.

Please don't tell me I don't know the meaning of love. Besides you don't need love to have sex. Although in this case I do believe its there. Yeah maybe I am young but how old were romeo an juliet? ha, yes that might sound stupid.
First off romeo and juliet were fictional, second off yes you don't need love to have sex, but than what is the point, if that sex isn't because of love than what is it for? Fun? Tell that to all the pregnant teens who realized they made a mistake

Trust me, I'm both phsycially AND emotionally ready. Please don't tell me otherwise.

You think you are, but I'm sorry, you are not! I thought I was too at that age. I wasn't, and now I know better. We are taking you seriously, that is why we are telling you the truth! I thought I knew better than EVERYONE else when I was 14. I thought my parents were morons, in fact I thought ALL older people were morons! I thought they were old fashioned know it alls that were just brain dead! I would do the complete opposite of what they told me to do, I would say whatever I wanted to say to them, I just thought they were crazy people out to ruin my life!

Then I grew up. I learned some hard lessons, and then looked at the older people in my family and wondered... how the heck did they EVER put up with me! One thing about being ready for something like sex, is knowing your body. You don't really know your body or completely understand your emotions at 14. The reason? You haven't fully developed! It's just a fact of life! You haven't! You may think you're different, but you're not. I'm not saying this because it's my opinion, I'm saying this because it's a proven medical fact!

Its not uncommon for teens to have sex and not go through situations such as the one you just told.

I know its not, I think its like 1/4 teen girls will get pregnant or something. But does that mean you have to do it? Is that what your trying to say? Like it's the new cool thing to do?! Or are you desperate for attention from your boyfriend? Im sorry but that is what comes to mind. Are you not strong enough to wait or just kiss?

Fine, no honey for you.

Do you think I give this advice because I'm some old fuddy duddy sitting at home knitting socks for my husband? I was 14 years old once too, and I made you look like a little angel. I learned the hard way what having sex at a young age does to you. I didn't listen to smarter people either, because I knew it all. I didn't know squat compared to what I know now, or even what I knew at 18.

If you want to ruin your life because you think you're so smart, then I can't do anything about that. But if you're as mature as you claim to be, you'll listen and let it all sink in.

I used protection too, and I got an STD, I'm lucky though, it was easily cleared up with a few months of antibiotics. I never got pregnant but that was because of a medical condition, so once again, I was lucky. I did everything you could imagine with as many guys as possible because I didn't give a damn about myself.

Now, here I am, 24 years later, I'm married, have two kids, and the one thing that I regret is what I did when I was young. I can't take that back, ever. You still have the time to make the right choices, or you live to regret it, and you will, trust me.

If you're in love and he loves you then you don't need to be having sex until you're old enough, and no, you aren't old enough!

Your answering from a personal expirence, understandably. Of course I don't know it all! I've got a lot of life in front of me, but this is my life right now. Of course I'm not a little angel I've never been.
Its already sunk in, I've known all this stuff for a while. How is this ruining my life? Please tell me you don't honestly think that.

Small risks??

Thought it all through??

Are you totally sure you are equipped to deal with a responsibility of this magnitude,,you aren't being very responsible with this behavior.

I had sex early in life too,I was lucky there was no ultimate responsibility to greet me afterwards,I am only speaking to you from the heart,not just as a parent,but as one who has to see the posts on how a girl has to give up her child due to...this...or that...or no money...or drugs taking over....

You can't be ready,I don't care how much life you have lived,YOUR ONLY 14

I'm only fourteen I know. I know I'm young. I know I know I know.
Lets just pretend I'm not getting pregnant.

Ah and about drugs taking over? I know enough of that already too.

Your answering from a personal expirence, understandably. Of course I don't know it all! I've got a lot of life in front of me, but this is my life right now. Of course I'm not a little angel I've never been.
Its already sunk in, I've known all this stuff for a while. How is this ruining my life? Please tell me you don't honestly think that.

Innocence is such a fleeting thing today.

::sigh::

It's not that anyone here will be able to reason with you, which in itself shows your maturity. You will not find the answers you are looking for here and it's unfortunate that you are in such a rush to grow up.

Maybe you should address this situation with your parents, if you are mature enough for sex, they will surely tell you how to make it pleasureable and they would know you far better than anyone in this forum....

Talk to them or your legal guardian.

I've already made up my mind, the deed is already done. What is there to reason with? My parents are strict catholics, that's out of the question unless I want to find myself out on my own.

Just happy to know at 14 the idea of sex still turned my stomach... thank goodness for being so sheltered... at least back then.

Innocence is such a fleeting thing today.

I know, I'm sorry. Thank you for taking interest in my post though.

What did you honestly hope to get out of this?

Just happy to know at 14 the idea of sex still turned my stomach... thank goodness for being so sheltered... at least back then.

That's the thing though, my stomach doesn't turn.

I've already made up my mind, the deed is already done. What is there to reason with? My parents are strict catholics, thats out of the question unless I want to find myself out on my own.

Than I guess we have proven here you will be finding out on your own... There is no advice for you on this topic.

Ahahah just to throw it out there..
Did I mention I'm bisexual?

Your answering from a personal expirence, understandably. Of course I don't know it all! I've got a lot of life in front of me, but this is my life right now. Of course I'm not a little angel I've never been.
Its already sunk in, I've known all this stuff for a while. How is this ruining my life? Please tell me you don't honestly think that.


How can I not tell you I think that? I know that this could ruin your life. The odds aren't in your favor that there won't be consequences for having sex at your age.

Yes, you have a long life ahead of you, but will it be a good life? What happens if you get pregnant, or get an STD? Do you really think that it won't happen to you? Look around this site, read about all the teens coming here telling us they're pregnant, scared out of their minds, not knowing what to do, not knowing why, because they used protection.

As for knowing all this stuff, you don't know the half of it, but you won't realize that until you're older. I was you, only worse, so at least try to listen to what I'm saying even if you don't want to believe it.

I'm not here to lecture you, I'm here because I care what happens, believe it or not. Just the thought of what you are doing is burning a hole in my stomach, because I know the ending. I could tell you stories that would keep you up at night, don't let that become your life. Learn from my mistakes, you don't have to make them too.

what did you honestly hope to get out of this?

Kind of just hoped someone would come along and take me seriously, although I also posted knowing I'd get answers such as these.

ahahah just to throw it out there..
Did I mention I'm bisexual?



I think that this right here just showed your maturity level,. so I hope you all the best and good luck, cause you will need it

I'm only fourteen I know. I know I'm young. I know I know I know.
Lets just pretend I'm not getting pregnant.

Ah and about drugs taking over? I know enough of that already too.

If you know so much,why have you come here to ask such questions?

You knew this wasn't going to be easy,you knew because you started this with the 'don't judge me' line.

You know a lot,but we know what not to do,and that is to encurage you in this venture.

I wish you could see the honest efforts of all in here trying to help you,but you seem to know too much to listen.

Take care of yourself,we'll still be here when something happens that you didn't know about,and then,we won't judge you,we will open our arms and try to help you then,too.

KBC

How can I not tell you I think that? I know that this could ruin your life. The odds aren't in your favor that there won't be consequences for having sex at your age.

Yes, you have a long life ahead of you, but will it be a good life? What happens if you get pregnant, or get an STD? Do you really think that it won't happen to you? Look around this site, read about all the teens coming here telling us they're pregnant, scared out of their minds, not knowing what to do, not knowing why, because they used protection.

As for knowing all this stuff, you don't know the half of it, but you won't realize that until you're older. I was you, only worse, so at least try to listen to what I'm saying even if you don't want to believe it.

I'm not here to lecture you, I'm here because I care what happens, believe it or not. Just the thought of what you are doing is burning a hole in my stomach, because I know the ending. I could tell you stories that would keep you up at night, don't let that become your life. Learn from my mistakes, you don't have to make them too.

Thank you for caring, seriously it actually means a lot even through the internet. I know I don't know everything! I'm aware. I know things end up badly all the time, I'm just choosing not to live afraid. Being with him like this makes me happy in a strange sense if that's not to hard to believe.

Ah thanks for trying to be in my best interest.
But I'm stubborn and I think I'll have to do some research on my own.

The best to all of you.

Thankyou for caring, seriously it actually means a lot even through the internet. I know I don't know everything! I'm aware. I know things end up badly all the time, I'm just choosing not to live afraid. Being with him like this makes me happy in a strange sence if thats not to hard to believe.

I do understand, I really do, that's also why I'm giving the advice that I'm giving.

I wish I could make you see, but I guess I can't. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I won't give you advice on how to enjoy sex, that would be illegal and immoral, but I am here if you just want to talk.

i know its not, i think its like 1/4 teen girls will get pregnant or something. But does that mean you have to do it? Is that what your trying to say? Like its the new cool thing to do?!? Or are you desperate for attention from your boyfriend? Im sorry but that is what comes to mind. Are you not strong enough to wait or just kiss?

Its not the new cool, its not for attention. I get enough attention on a daily basis, I keep to myself nowadays. If I wanted to "just kiss" I would. But I don't want that..

I do understand, I really do, that's also why I'm giving the advice that I'm giving.

I wish I could make you see, but I guess I can't. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I won't give you advice on how to enjoy sex, that would be illegal and immoral, but I am here if you just want to talk.

Thanks, seirously.

I think the only reason you are asking about this is to get a rise out of people it shows in you messages that you don't want to be taken seriously, you just want to try and get people all upset, I believe you find annoying people funny and you will not be taken seriously as a 14 year old non virgin

thanks, seirously.

You're welcome. Just be careful, okay, at least do that, maybe then I can sleep tonight. ;)

i think the only reason you are asking about this is to get a rise out of people it shows in you messages that you dont want to be taken seriously, you just want to try and get people all upset, i believe you find annoying people funny and you will not be taken seriously as a 14 year old non virgin

I don't find annoying people funny I'm not trying to get a rise. I'm standing up for myself because I'm well basically just stubborn.
Look, If I was looking for attention I wouldn't come online! I've got plenty on the outside world from normal human interactions. People interested in my life, and likewise.
Attention from people I don't know doesn't really do anything for me..
If you get my drift.

You're welcome. Just be careful, okay, at least do that, maybe then I can sleep tonight. ;)

Aha as careful as ever, Thank you.
Sleep well! :)

So why are you not asking them these questions?

ahahah just to throw it out there..
Did I mention I'm bisexual?

Let me tell you a story okay? My niece is 19 now. But when she was your exact age, she had a boyfriend who she loved loved loved! Her friend had a boyfriend that she loved loved loved too! My niece (I'll call her Dana) never went anywhere without Kevin. She went out with her girlfriends, but Kevin was always around. Kevin was a great guy. I liked Kevin. They started having sex when they ironically were the same age as you and your boyfriend. Dana was up and down, did drugs occasionally, almost od'd a few times, got suicidal, starting drinking, and you name it. But if Kevin was around, she felt better, because of course she loved him and he loved her! Well then Dana decided that she was gay. Then she changed that and said she was bi. So they started to experiment with that.

Well, Kevin left Dana for her supposedly bi lover, Dana was crushed, and Kevin... the one that loved her so much, got the bi lover pregnant, and then left that 15 yr old with a baby. Dana still swore she was old enough and knew enough, was sexually and emotionally mature enough to handle everything. That is until I got a call from the hospital when her parents were out of town, asking me to rush to the hospital. She had taken a bunch of drugs, and they barely saved her. Do you think Kevin or her bi lovers were there?

Today, Dana has gone through a bunch of counselling to try and get over her sexual encounters with girls and boys. She looks back now and says she wants to smack herself in the head, and ask herself... what the hell was I thinking? She also told us, that there is probably nothing we could have said to her because she thought she was mature enough. Then she also told us... I wish you would have grabbed me kicking and screaming, and not let her do the things that she did.

Trust me, if there was ever a strong willed kid, it was Dana. So that is all we are all trying to get across to you. I know you THINK you are totally ready for all of this, but honestly sweetheart, you just really aren't. I know "the deed" is done, but that doesn't mean it can't be stopped, at least for the time being. Have respect for your body.

Let me tell ya a story okay?! My niece is 19 now. But when she was your exact age, she had a bf who she loved loved loved! Her friend had a bf that she loved loved loved too! My niece (I'll call her Dana) never went anywhere without Kevin. She went out with her girlfriends, but Kevin was always around. Kevin was a great guy. I liked Kevin. They started having sex when they ironically were the same age as you and your bf. Dana was up and down, did drugs occasionally, almost od'd a few times, got suicidal, starting drinking, and you name it. But if Kevin was around, she felt better, because of course she loved him and he loved her! Well then Dana decided that she was gay. Then she changed that and said she was bi. So they started to experiment with that.

Well, Kevin left Dana for her supposedly bi lover, Dana was crushed, and Kevin...the one that loved her so much, got the bi lover pregnant, and then left that 15 yr old with a baby. Jordyn still swore she was old enough and knew enough, was sexually and emotionally mature enough to handle everything. That is until I got a call from the hospital when her parents were out of town, asking me to rush to the hospital. She had taken a bunch of drugs, and they barely saved her. Do you think Kevin or her bi lovers were there?

Today, Dana has gone through a bunch of counselling to try and get over her sexual encounters with girls and boys. She looks back now and says she wants to smack herself in the head, and ask herself...what the hell was I thinkin? She also told us, that there is probably nothing we could have said to her because she thought she was mature enough. Then she also told us...I wish you would have grabbed me kicking and screaming, and not let her do the things that she did.

Trust me, if there was ever a strong willed kid, it was Dana. So that is all we are all trying to get across to you. I know you THINK you are totally ready for all of this, but honestly sweetheart, you just really aren't. I know "the deed" is done, but that doesn't mean it can't be stopped, at least for the time being. Have respect for your body.

Is anyone listening to me? I know I'm young, I know I'm "reckless".
Thank you for sharing, that's terrible really it is.
I can be happy on my own though, without my boyfriend. I've got friends I've got a support system.
I've been to therapy, I've been confused by my emotions when it comes down to orientation and really I believe that for ME, I can have feelings for people for what's inside. I do have respect for myself, I'm not a "slut".

No one said you were a slut honey! Just trying to relate to you and help.

Well,that says a lot.

If you look at what I wrote,I never said anything about love.

I loved my teddy bear when I was 6.

LMAO... I hope you used protection KBC :D

I want to wish you the best ProgressInColor! I really do. I can tell that for your age, you at least are mature enough to read what we had to say, and take it in stride, without getting all crazy like some of the other teens we have come across on the site. Hey, I was told to "shove it up my *bleep* today, because a young girl didn't like what I had to say to her. At least you stuck around to listen, and that's a good thing. Please try and consider what we are trying to say. We don't know everything, but some of us know a lot more than we should, if you know what I mean. So we do know where you're coming from. We are just trying to save you from all of the hurt. :)

We don't know everything,

We don't? I thought we did. Darnit, now I have to redo my business cards. :( ;)

Starby's right, at least you stuck around and listened, that's more than most people do.

We can only give you advice, we can't force you to take it, but darnit we sure do try.

We're here because we care, and also because we've lived through a lot of the stuff that teens are coming here to ask about.

I know you probably think we're just old ladies who don't know anything, or that times are different now, but they really aren't and we really aren't. Well, Starby's old, but I'm still a spring chicken. ;) (I'm going to die now, you realize that!)

Just know that we care. Know that we're here to listen, and please, at least think about what we said, sleep on it, hear it for what it is, concern for you. Can you do that for us? Please?

We don't? I thought we did. Darnit, now I have to redo my business cards. :( ;)

Starby's right, at least you stuck around and listened, that's more than most people do.

We can only give you advice, we can't force you to take it, but darnit we sure do try.

We're here because we care, and also because we've lived through alot of the stuff that teens are coming here to ask about.

I know you probably think we're just old ladies who don't know anything, or that times are different now, but they really aren't and we really aren't. Well, Starby's old, but I'm still a spring chicken. ;) (I'm going to die now, you realize that!)

Just know that we care. Know that we're here to listen, and please, at least think about what we said, sleep on it, hear it for what it is, concern for you. Can you do that for us? Please?

I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you Chickypoo! :p

If you were as mature as you say, then you would be waiting for the mind, body, and soul, to get in sync with the brain, and you can do this right, instead of merely going through the motions of being an adult.

Its like trying to drive a car, and can't reach the pedals, you ain't going nowhere.

Obviously there still is a lot to learn, so you'll know what your doing. As mature as you think you are, I hope your smart enough to be patient with yourself, and learn the right things, the right way, after you have learned about yourself. Don't rush it, you'll miss something important.

I know from years of experience that the problems your having, is your body telling you to pay attention to other areas of your life, that your either neglecting, or not doing the right things by yourself.

You may not understand it, and that's okay, but I hope your mature enough to not be stubborn, and just think about it.

Hey progressincolor,
I think a major problem here is that no one feels it's legal to give you any advice. I think it's safe to say that if sex is not giving you pleasure, then there's no reason to do it. If you were an adult, most people would say to visit a doctor, see if your hormone levels were normal, ask you lots of questions about masturbation and whether that gives you pleasure. They would ask about your boyfriend etc. But there's no reason to assume you would have normal hormone levels for an adult woman at your age and there's the legal problem. A doctor would have the same response, I bet. Plus pleasurable sex involves learning that is specific to the people involved Some people are not a good match.

You are obviously articulate and thoughtful. But I agree that there's no reason to rush this. I don't think that innocence and virginity are these huge valuable commodities that need to be protected, so that's not where I'm coming from. I suspect that you will come to have a satisfying sex life in the future. For now, be patient with yourself, with life.

The other thing I am wondering is where the pressure is coming from to get this right so soon. You said your boyfriend was taking this personally. What does he say?

The American culture is full of misconceptions about sex... TV, movies, porn in our homes, friends opinions... on and on.

The bottom line is that you don't enjoy it... so, for you, you are too young and immature to enjoy sex.

Also, since you are so young, your boyfriend may be working you over, not making love... which is what happens to so many girls who are too young, hence too ignorant to have sex.

I think you should stop having sex asap so you don't get totally ruined by teen years of bad sex.