So I'm the guy and I'm 16 and me and my ex have an off and on relationship which has been going on since we were 13 or 14. I'm in love with her and she says she's in love with me. The past relationship lasted about 5 months and it ended about a month and a half ago. It was tradgic on me. The she said the reason why she left me was because she was doing more babysitting for me instead of being my girlfriend. The thing is though... I was going through some tough changes with her and those changes were: we were together the entire school break summer, so it was constantly me and her focused on one another and it stayed like that for the whole 3 months. So I got so used to being everything to her and her always talking about me and being with me. But school came back around and she starts spreading her attention on other things and other people. Of course she still focused on me. But not as much as I was used to. And those changes caused some depression and frustration on me. Until one day it came to the point where she couldn't take it. And she said it was causing her some frustration as well to always see me down. So she left me. And it hit me like a ton of bricks... I was a wreck. I felt so sick and depressed. I literally didn't eat for a good week. Without her things went downhill for me. I wasn't the same happy person I used to be. And I always called her at night, even though we were broken up. And I used to always cry to her which I know sounds pathetic but then again at that time I was pathetic. That went on for some time. Turns out she started talking to another guy and hearing that killed me inside. So soon for her to leave me and get with him. Its only been a week or two. And so time went on with me calling her from time to time and telling her how I felt about her and about how things aren't doing so great for me. And I asked to promise me that she wouldn't have any sexual actions with the guy.. she promised me but then broke that promise and that just killed me inside too. So like always I forgave her. And she said she was a wreck without me. And she was too from what I saw in her. So time goes on and her new boyfriend doesn't want her talking to me. And I tell her "look at all we've been through and youre just gonna listen to this guy???" she tells me... "ill make him understand that i need you in my life." and that didn't go well... so she stopped talking to me for him. And I felt so used and sad. I decided to accept her screwed up decision and quit talking to her as well. A week goes by and she's texting me "i miss you" and I'm doing good without her. Because I don't know how to be her friend. So I got some ease from all the depression and tension. And that just ruins it for me. We start talking again and she wants to talk to me. Yet whenever I talk to her... ill always want to talk more deeply to her. I just don't know how to talk to her as a friend. So I'm trying to be her friend and its hard on me... because I want her so bad yet she doesn't want me and she tells me "its inevitable for her to want me again at some point" and she's always come back to me in the past... I need help though.. this past month has been hell on me. So much confusion, tears, drama, and frustrtation. What's going on here with me and her?? Should I stop talking to her? Will she come back to me again? How can I get a vacation from all these mind wrecking and heart throbbing thoughts!?

how can I get a vacation from all these mind wrecking and heart throbbing thoughts!?

I would have to say until you leave her alone, and get over her, you will always be miserable, because its obvious she feeds you a bunch of crap, to keep your nose open, but she goes and does her thing with someone else.

Google dignity, and self respect, and learn to keep yours.

Kind of hard I know, but you needed to hear it.

Tal, I had to spread the rep, but I totally agree.

You are young still and although I do not doubt how much you truly love her, you have to realize that now is a time for you to be focusing on yourself & your development. It seems to me that she is sure that she doesnot want to be with you, but she likes the fact that you are always there whenever she calls or feels like talking to you. It seems like she is taking advantage of your love for her and abusing it. When she stops talking to you then texting you a week after is really toying with your emotions. You need to realize that she doesnot truly want a relationship as she stated, and because you have not gotten over her you may need to cut your communication so that your heart can heal. Your heart is in bondage to her while she is free and that is unhealthy and unfair.

Focus on yourself, your dreams, your passion. Do not let anyone abuse your love and know what you stand for. If you do not stand for anything you will fall for everything. I think you should really make a solid decision to move on and be happy. SHe might try and get back with you when she realizes that you are being bold and strong, but in life sometimes you have to turn away and never look back.

Sounds like you are a very nice guy, and once you work on yourself and build up yourself esteem and be strong in what you stand for and what is right, then you will find someone who will treat you the way you ought to treated.

Hope you find this advice useful.

I would have to say until you leave her alone, and get over her, you will always be miserable, because its obvious she feeds you a bunch of crap, to keep your nose open, but she goes and does her thing with someone else.

Google dignity, and self respect, and learn to keep yours.

Kind of hard I know, but you needed to hear it.

I'm working on that
But she says she's still in love with me
And she has a history of doing this.
Will she come back?

I'll just get the crystal ball out
Wait... I don't know

Just let it be, boy. Move on

By the way, it's pretty much classic to marry your childhood sweetheart
So I say yes! But you could be 30 when it happens :D

I'm working on that
No your not, your waiting for her to comeback like she always does.
But she says she's still in love with me
Thats to keep you waiting, you poor, in love ................(not a nice word)
And she has a history of doing this.
Of course she does, because you let her use you for her own entertainment. Sort of like a pet puppy. Everyone loves a pet puppy.
Will she come back?
Sure she will, when she has nothing better to do, and wants her pet puppy to do some new tricks.

Pay attention guy, as it gets harsher every time you ignore what's written, and ask the same question over, and over again.

should I stop talking to her?
I would disappear from her life forever. But then, I'm not a needy puppy.

will she come back to me again?
Hey didn't I answer this one already (see what I mean)

Did you google dignity and self respect as I asked?


Read the first line below in my signature for a start.

Wow, you are 16 and in love, its very cute! There's no need to be so serious.

You aren't a needy puppy, you're a teenager in love who expected more than he received, you both are living and learning.

Chances are if she is still in love with you, she will come back... should you wait for it to happen? No

Just enjoy life for right now, your better off this happening to you when your young; you'll be better prepared.

This was reminsent to read. Love is difficult at any age. Don't let someone tell you that you don't respect yourself because your young and in love..

Props to you. Hang in there...