Hello everybody, I'm new here... and have a problem.
I like this guy quite a lot. We met one year ago, but at the time he had a girlfriend so we decided to stay friends. Long story short, we went through a phase where we would communicate daily, and he seemed very excited about me, he said I was his "dreamgirl" and that hearing from me made his day. However, things never went past 3 dates, where nothing happened other than some kissing. We kept calling ourselves "friends". I confided in him about some personal stuff, which obviously was a mistake, because I lost my "mystery", but what's done is done... I soon realized that he was mostly interested in having sex with me, but he wasn't about to start a relationship. I'm not OK with sex without a relationship, and told him so. When he realized I wasn't the kind of woman he could just take on a ride, without any kind of commitment, things started to fizzle. He still contacts me 2-3 times/week, by phone or email only, and asks about my life, but doesn't flirt anymore, doesn't say any of the nice stuff he used to. I think I became the friend that's always there, eager to respond to his messages as soon as I got them, and I'm sure he knows I would like to date him. From being his "dreamgirl", now he's telling me he needs some excitement in his life and that he'll start looking around for it... I don't want to hear him talk about his sexual conquests and I don't want to be the unexciting friend!
So here is my dilemma: I already know what I should be doing, I can clearly see what's happening, so it's not like I'm stupid or blind or anything like that. I know I should just move on and forget about him. But for some reason, I don't want to just give up, in this case. I want to end up dating him, I think we would be good together. So my question is: is there anything at all I can do at this point, to make him think of me the way he used to?
Every time I get an email from him, I answer right away, while he takes 2-3 days to answer mine. Would it help if I did the same? If I was more unavailable to him? If I let him wonder about me, and why I am not answering as promptly as I used to? Should I stop all contact? What would make me more interesting in his eyes? I know that deep inside he is still attracted to me, but won't act on it, because he is afraid I would have expectations after the fact... Any input would be much appreciated...

While he is going on with his life,you are in a holding pattern.

How long you stay there is up to you.

Don't you want someone in your life besides him?There has to be others who find you 'dreamy',look for someone else,someone who shares your morals and respects your right to not have sex without a relationship.

I know where you are in this emotional trauma,I am at that point also,hanging in waiting for something to change.So far mine has been a stalemate for the past 3 years,, do you want to do what I am doing?

I found other pursuits to occupy my time and efforts,still waiting for that one time to happen.

HMMM,definition time again...

Insanity-doing the same thing,expecting different results.

If you like being there for this 'something else' to happen,stay in the insanity with me,I am lonely.:)

If not, look forward in your life and change it to a way that suits you better.

I hope this personal testimony helps clarify your thinking.

KBC

Bottom line is.. When dealing with these kinds of situations,
If you want more and he does not... Meaning everything will be on his terms not yours... then leave it alone.

You are about to be mistreated. Your mind is going to play tricks on you. He is not really interested.

Friendship is a agreement between to people. It is smooth and easy. In any relationship, if one person wants something different than the other person... Drama will follow if you try to force it. It will be fine... leave it alone. Not worth your time.

He would be showing interest if he had any. He doesn't, but he will see if you have changed your mind about excitement though.

This isn't friendship, nor is it likely to get any better.