I have a male and female cat. Both have been fixed. The male is very dominate and attacks the female. She is very affectionate when he is not around but when he is, she withdraws. He has started to take over her one place where she sleeps. How can I equal the relationship between these cats so she is allowed her own space.

Cats are very territorial. You may have to keep them in separate rooms if the male is not going to warm up to her.

Thanks, I'll give that a try!

I've been through this a number of times as well. What has worked best for me is a combination of patience--it will take them some time work out their own dynamic--and vigilance. I have found it works well if you discipline the male when he acts aggressively toward the female (no spanking, but putting him in time out for ten minutes--in a closed room, alone--may pay some dividends). He needs to learn from you that this behavior is not okay, so be consistent and firm, but don't overreact.

Can you say a little more about the form the aggression takes? Does he hiss, growl, howl? Does his tail poof? Or is he just tackling and pinning her? If it's the latter, he is just trying to play and doesn't understand that this isn't an acceptable way to do so. I have three males and a female, and it has taken the guys a while to learn when to back-off, but eventually they've each caught on and everybody gets along well now.

Thanks, execellent ideas. The behavior is more tackling and pinning. He probably is playing but she has become quite paranoid and whenever we try to pat her, she looks around for him. He also takes over her spaces. Time out has been tried for other issues for the male (like trying to keep him off the kitchen table when we are eating). All we have to say is time out and he walks into the downstairs bathroom. He is smart so using the same technique for aggressive behavior is a great idea. I appreciate the support. Thank you. The female is one year older then the male. She use to be affectionate and loved to be with us but this has changed when he joined the household and grew. Recently, we had a house guest so we took the female away with us to another location. Her affectionate atitude came back and she. Was so friendly wihtout him around. We will be patient and try to watch for the opportunities to help make the relationship better.