I have been married for over 15 yrs. I have more than 4 kids. Hubby left. I know that courts determine the best for the kids. What if he and his girlfriends house is bigger & better than mine? What if the kids are enticed by toys and money? Still married. I suspect some type of underground planning to take kids. What can I do?

Having a big house and more money than a co-parent cannot be considered in making a custody determination (in California). I believe most states follow this same rule.

You can be proactive. Hire an attorney. Get a separation agreement in place. It will outline the custody, child support payments, etc. Until the divorce goes through.

There is not much you can do about the "what if the kids get enticed". You can not control that - and the old saying goes, don't worry about the things you can not control.

And the house, well isn't this the same house you and your ex shared together? It was good enough for the kids when he lived there. What has changed? Nothing.

If he can afford such a great new house, then will child support really be a problem?

Don't sell yourself short. If you are a good mom and aren't putting your kids in harms way, then what he and the GF have as far a material items, won't matter.

I am not a lawyer, but in my opinion, it speaks volumes of his character that he is not divorced yet and is shacked up with his girlfriend already. That in itself will be confusing to his kids.
Again, that is just my opinion. A judge probably doesn't take that kind of thing in to consideration. (even though they should)

Good Luck.

What state are you in? That can play a big part in how things work. But with just the given information I agree with the first two responses, be proactive don't wait around to see what they do do it yourself.

How many kids do you have,you stated more than 4.

What state are you in? That can play a big part in how things work. But with just the given information I agree with the first two responses, be proactive don't wait around to see what they do do it yourself.


In some States what the "kids" want doesn't matter. In other States it does. In States with law guardians appointed for the children the guardians are trained and educated to see through the gifts and promises and straight to the welfare of the children.