I know some of you see 3 years and think that's not a lot, but we lived together for three years, I saw her every day. We did everything together and we didn't work full time jobs so we did a lot together she is all I know. She was my first and only true love.

First off we met in high school, we were from different schools. I wasn't really popular at all and she was. Every year was the best year of my life. When we broke up she talked about how she wish things were the way they use to be when I would sneek over to see her and she had more time to see her friends. She also said that the day we went on break she kissed another guy, but all she could think about is me. Although she said she needed her space I went over to her house and talked to her so that she knew how I felt.

I told her I was sorry that few months I have been a little stubborn, that I was sorry I didn't realize how much she meant to me and I should have told her how beautiful she was every day and how much I love her. I also told her about how devistated I was. She got mad because I guess I was making her feel guilty. But we talked a lot and she let me hold her in my arms when she cried a little bit. We also had sex. After sex she said she still might want to see this other guy.

I told her I just want her to be happy, and if she thinks that guy can make her happier than me to go for it, I told her she could see however many guys she wanted and have sex as much as she wanted and I would still be waiting for her because I know she is the one. Although she is not the kind of girl to have sex with people right away we are both eachothers first and only. She said we don't always have things to talk about but I told her no matter who you are with there are only so many stories before you just have the stories you make together.

I also said that I would stay moved in at my moms house, and I could take her on dates and we could start on a new slate. She said she still doesn't know, that she needs time to decide. But every time I ask her if she loves me she says yes, and she gave me a couple kisses, and a good kiss before I left. I asked her on a date to go see a movie in a couple days, she told me she didn't know. She also told me to call her before I go to bed tonight.

Since the break started I have had a really bad pain in my upper stomach, it prevents me from eating or drinking anything. I also am having a really hard time sleeping. Its just so weird I don't have any friends because I spent all my time with her for 3 years. I just know she is the one, no other girl looks attractive to me. I can't go anywhere public because every time I see a family I think of the one I want with her. She is the reason I do everything, the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I go to school to get a job. Everything just seems so pointless if I don't have her to spend my life with. And no I am not suicidal, but I feel like I feel like dying it hurts so bad, again I am not going to kill myself.

And everybody says they've gone through it, but I don't believe you, it hurts so so so so so bad, I can't stop crying. I have never felt pain this bad before. I don't know if I could ever see another girl again. I am 20 years old, how do I make the pain go away, mentally and physically. I want to eat to stay healthy but I can't my stomach hurts too much.

And I would do anything for her, I would take my life to save hers if I had to. I will wait for her forever.

! What the hell are you doing? GROW A BACK BONE YOU SPINLESS TWIT

I don't care how many guys she sleeps with
I will be waiting for her!

I mean. Do you have any self respect?
Your post has made me SICK

No wonder she left you.. you don't even stand up for yourself
And how you have 0 self confidence!
You are NEEDY

And you MADE HER LIFE>> YOUR LIFE

Which is a HUGE MISTAKE

You would give your life for her?

Oh Grow up with this movie Crap!

Life and Love is not like the movies kid. Its harsh. And we all get into bad places

But the thing we do. Is we stand up for our own rights.
Which you have not done

You have let her walk all over you
And you have bascily said
That whatever she wants to do. Its OK because you will be there

Waiting in the shadows like a pahetic lost PUPPY! I mean who would want someone like that?


Listen to me right now. OK
Get your head out of the clouds.
Get back down to earth

Focus on yourself! And your issue
Forget about this girl
She does not want you.

Get back up and FIGHT.

Its done its over. Move on.
Find a hobby read the stickes on this form.


But really. Grow some balls and have some self respect.
Before you even think about going into another Relationship

I hope you get some confidence.
Because that is the one thing you really... Reall need

I can't help it, I love her so much,if she needs to I want her to date some other guys so she can see how nobody can can love her as much as I do.

Ohhh. Sod off.

Come back when your head is on right.

I can't talk to you or help you
If you act like this..

If you can't understand what's going on. And what you need to do.. to change

Then Enjoy your mess kid.

No one can love her like I do

Ha! Give me a F@@ING BREAK!

I'm sorry, it's the only long-term relationship I've ever been in, the only girl I have had sex with, the only girl I have ever made out with or even french kissed

Believe it or not, this is probably the best thing that will ever happen to you! (in the long run)

p.s. truefaith your post made me laugh.kudo's for your involvement. :D

I know it is hard, but you are pretty wrapped up in emotions right now, which can't allow you to think clearly. Like True said, read the stickies on this forum. It is hard and the first love is of course especially hard. Get all of your emotions out and then you can truly start to heal. I am sorry for your loss. It sucks, we all know it does. You are, however, still alive. Life won't stop and niether can you.

I know, reading these posts are the only think that have slightly cured my stomach ache. And I do believe that someday I could get over her I just think my problem is that I don't want to, like I said this is my first everything, I don't know what else is out there and this isn't helping myself esteem any. But writing about it is going to help me, and talking about to is going to help me get over her. She told me she still loves me and gives me a kiss afterwards. If she told me she didn't love me anymore it would make everything a little easier because then there is nothing I can do about it.

[QUOTE=aedude006;1399855] She is the reason I do everything, the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I go to school to get a job. Everything just seems so pointless if I don't have her to spend my life with. QUOTE]

This is a problem. Do things for yourself, to make yourself better. Never live your life for the sole purpose of benefiting someone else.

Another thing that sucks is the main way to meet girls around here is to party, and I don't drink, I don't do drugs...

Don't look for closure, otherwise you will just drive yourself nuts. Find peace within yourself... find happiness within yourself.

But that's what I want to do, when I see her happy it makes me feel happy

Man up and quit acting like this! It isn't healthy. Her happiness has NOTHING to do with you, and vice versa. NO relationship works like that. You cannot love someone more than you love yourself otherwise the relationship is doomed to fail.

So if I love her more than I love myself its going to fail and I should try and find somebody I love less?

Damn... how old are you?? No, you shouldn't find anyone else. Everyone on here is here to help you get through this. My point is clear: learn to love yourself and learn to be happy with you. Don't rely on others to make you happy or validate your own happiness. Do NOT get in another relationship until you can learn this. You will continue to make the same mistake because you rely to heavily on the acceptance of others.

But part of the problem of the relationship is that I cared too much about myself and my happiness and what I want, and not enough about her and her needs. My problems were I couldn't always find something to go out and do with her, and I never had anything to talk to her about

And I get why I shouldn't have said I'll wait for her forever but I already said it, what can I do about it?

Don't do anything about it. Just quit contacting her and start rebuilding your life without her. Don't worry about things you cannot control (i.e. her)

I'm sorry I didn't make this clear but we are on a break, not broken up,

I'm sorry I shouldn't have used that title

She said she needs time to think but there is another guy in the picture, but when I mension anything about being on a break I can see it in her face the chances aren't good

Reality check:

Break = Broken Up

It is the way of the world. If you guys aren't together, then you are broken up. A break is merely an easy way of telling someone you don't want to be with them anymore, but you would rather not hurt their feelings, so you say, "Let's take a break."

I believe you but at the same time I hope your not right, I don't know, I just need to get out around people, but like I said I don't party because I don't drink, and that's the main way of meating people around here

Forget her! Move on and get a life. You can't live your life through somebody else and most girls hate guys that HAVE to have them.
They want a guy that stands up for himself and isn't falling all over her. They don't want some whimpering I have to have her or I will die mentality in their guy. Look at guys that girls go for and you will see it isn't the ones that are obsessing over the girl.
Girls want a guy that has charisma and an independence about them. When you cry over a girl it shows that you lack many things that a girl wants in a guy.
She most likely sees your devotion to her as weaknesses and it most likely turns her off. No girl wants a guy that has made her his whole world.
If you were meant to be she would not leave you like that.
You are not the first one to feel sick over losing a love and you will not be the last. We all go through it at sometime. Most often in hindsight we are glad that it wasn't meant to be even though it may have taken months to get over.

I know for a fact that she would want me to fight for her though

So how would you plan to fight for her?
What types of things can you do to 'win her back'?
If you don't have a good plan you will most likely end up looking stupid and justifying her reasons for leaving you.

Well I personally think you should give her some time

U said that you went to her house on this break, bad idea
The point of the break is so you and her can take some time to think so take it

Ocupy your time on something that would take your mind off her

And the part that you do things for her has to stop
If you are attending school and have a job should be for your own progress and success not for a woman

Sometimes when a girl sees you can live without her and do quite well it is more attractive to her than pathetically hounding her with whining about your losing her. Get a life and let her see what she is missing.

Hey there just checking in

Yup I still see you can't FACE reality
And your brain is just about 7 million light years out of your Skull.

You can't face facts

Every post that has tried to help you. You have come back with. I know she loves me and I we are on a break

So if you can't accept that there is a problem. And as I said are not willing to listen.

Then. Guess I will see you later

Okay, well is there anything I can take for my stomach? Like I said I can't drink, I can't eat, and the pain in my upper stomach is almost more than I can take.

Yep a reality check!
I think the only hope you have to actually see reality is to
Ask her to tell you ''BLUNTLY and hold nothing back'' what are the things about you that she doesn't like that she sees you needing to change and work on them.

Other than that, my stomach hurts so much what over the counter drug can I take to help with this?

Anybody with any experience with a certain product? I can get over the emotions, but I'd like to do it without any stomach pains, and I want to be able to eat. It feels like if I did eat something I would just throw it up right away

Try taking papaya enzymes they help with most stomach ailments.
Drink ginger ale and lemon lime soda's, eat pineapple and fruits and try to eat regular meals and healthy snacks.

Go to the doctors

You probable gave yourself a small Olsa.

You probable did not eat anything for a few days and was worring way too much. And the acids probable burnt a bit of your stomock lining.

Stress gets you so messt up as well.

Try Relaxing a bit. Read a book and take your mind of this crap.

Also

Get yourself checked out

Typical for the first time break up. It's the hardest thing you have ever been through.

She ain't coming back so man up, and get over it.

Maybe you can't see it now, but there are other females out there for you to practice your french kissing with.

You definitely need to do things for yourself. It may seem like the end of the world right now. Have you ever heard the country song "Thank God for unanswered prayers?" It's so true! I was in the same situation (my boyfriend/fiance at the time, 14 years ago, broke up, but kept coming around... I finally told him to leave me alone. I would always think "he does want me!") After that, I dated who and when I wanted to and I was in a much better place emotionally. I met my husband and we have a wonderful life and have been married almost 12 years. It will happen, but you just have to get over her-and it will take time. Spend time with family, volunteer somewhere, go to church, concentrate on school and be open to new friendships. If she broke up with you and is saying she wants to date someone else, DON'T wait around for her. One day you'll meet "the one"! But, don't rush into a relationship, take your time:)

I told her she could see however many guys she wanted and have sex as much as she wanted and I would still be waiting for her




Would she be okay with you seeing other girls [ not necessarily intimate, just friendly ]?

If she is okay with that, then your both moving on.

If she goes with other guys and expects you just to be with her, no one is worth that.


Either way, it is better to suffer now, get it over with, and move on.












g&p

She just texted me saying she wants to hang out tomorrow morning, I told her okay...
I'll see how it goes and get back to you all

Just don't let her string you along... do what's best for you!

Okay, I saw her the other morning, and we went out to eat, went back to her house and watched t.v while she laid down on my chest and I was in heaven. However she still needs time, and she still doesn't know, I also noticed she wasn't wearing the promise ring I bought her. However I know she misses how things use to be before I moved in with her, such as when I would sneek over to see her in the middle of the night and she misses dating. Also she still says she loves me, but I don't know if that is enough? So I am taking her out on a date Friday night I'm thinking ice skating and then to a movie, twilight, I know this doesn't mean at all that my chances are any better but I still hope...

Also for those of you saying get over her, and actually to everyone, how many of you wish you would have tried just a little harder? Or fought that extra little bit?

Well, think of it this way. Those who didn't fight that extra little bit regret that they didn't. However, those that do also regret that they did. Sometimes that's not the case, but sometimes it is. Fight if you want... Sometimes you just have to make your own mistakes. But remember, all of us have your best interests at heart. Partly because we don't know you well enough to hate you and partly because most of the people on this board are people who want to help others.

Also for those of you saying get over her, and actually to everyone, how many of you wish you would have tried just a little harder? Or fought that extra little bit?

Well the thing is that the harder and the more times you hit your head against a brick wall the faster it will break. I am not saying that is the case for every situation but I think that each one of us has a way of understanding if we are banging our head against a wall or not.
I really do hope this works out for you but I will also advise you to take small baby steps for now. Good luck.

Also for those of you saying get over her, and actually to everyone, how many of you wish you would have tried just a little harder? or fought that extra little bit?


Look, I'm a bit older than you (24) but I am going through something similar. My first girlfriend of 4 years (she wasn't my first everything, though she is the my first love) started having second thoughts about our relationship because it is a long distance relationship. We finally broke up this weekend, although I can see she still likes me a lot and sees a future with me, etc...

I honestly think we are perfect for each other, that she's just stressed out right now and can't find herself to love me. But during the looong three weeks between she started acting weird and this last thanksgiving, I also discovered that love is an act for two people: one person cannot love for two. It's unhealthy. It's wrong. It becomes a lopsided relationship where one gets all the pain and suffering and the other, unknowingly, end up walking all over the first. My ex is a good person, but she was hurting me, even though she didn't meant. Because I was the one trying to make sense of what was going on through her mind, and that's just impossible.

Could I have tried a bit harder, telling her that I would wait until this phase was over? Sure, since she isn't interested in anyone else, even hypothetically. And there is a good chance that after this phase was over we would have been together and happy ever after and all that. And is also true that, by breaking up right now, we will never go back, actually the chances of that happening are really really high, because of the distance.

But insisting on this relation right now would just be too much for me to bear, unfair. And I need to draw a line somewhere. Also, she would be suffering too, with the confusion of holding me without being able to love me, no matter how much she wants to. So in the end, if we insisted, even we managed to stick together for the ever after, there would be always in her mind the fact that she wanted to break up with me at some point, and there will be always the scars of all the pain she inflicted on me during this period. So if we're meant to be together, breaking up right now is the only way of us having a healthy relationship in the future. And if we meet other people and have different lives, then it was good we broke up, because it just wasn't meant to be.

What I'm trying to tell you is that right now, no matter how much you think it was something you did and that it's up to you to make her get back, you are wrong. The ball is not in your court anymore. It's her call, her move. And the more you put pressure on her, the worse it's going to be, for both of you. Let her go now. Try to make a life without her. If you don't drink or go to bars, try to meet people in your circles, or try to find new circles, in church or in school, or in meetup.com. You'll be surprised by the fact you can meet people by just being a regular at your local Starbucks or Borders or whatever. Pick up a hobby. Focus your attention on work, if you don't feel like getting into a new relationship.

It might sound really weird but the best way for you to fight for her right now is to leave her life, so that she we'll understand what you guys had together. Stop with the "we're on a break" crap because that doesn't work. Break up. Don't close the door on her, be nice and polite, but stop going actively after her. Show that you care about her being well, but make her understand that if she doesn't want you, there are people that will, and that you won't sit and wait for her. Make it clear that she has to make up her mind on her own. That you don't have to put up with her crap anymore because you aren't together. There is a chance that this won't work for you guys but at least in the end you will be fine. By the situation you described, if you insist right now, if you guys make it work it would be in a very wrong way, with her not knowing if she came back for love or because of pity and with you in a very lower, very vulnerable position, hurt and feeling that she owes you for all she put you through.

I'm not saying it's easy. It hurts. It feels like you are going to die. Every day I wake up feeling like half of me is missing. On weekends I just can't get out of bed. At night I need to have the TV on so that I don't feel so lonely while sleeping. But, slowly, I am getting better. And trust me, you will get better. The important thing that people told you many times here is that you need to love yourself. You don't need this girl to feel good about yourself. Relationships are for both of you to feel better with each other, to make one plus one greater than two. But for that you need to be at least one.

So maybe she just lost feelings for you and maybe she doesn't feel as comfortable as she used to... but since you've known her for so long, you know what makes her happy, and hey I don't blame you for the kissing your doing to her but if you really love her and you really want her in your life forever then do what you have to do. If the actions you are taking now are all true, then obviously she must feel bad deep inside and know that she really does love you. But anyhow, I suggest you know that karma's a (excuse me for the language) but if you try try and try and she just keeps turning her back on everything you do for her, it will come around, maybe it will take a year maybe a week but it comes around. And you're the one that's going to end up happy and she's going to be the one asking WHYYYY. And there's many people that have been in your position and hey I've been one of them but I'm telling you, they will come back to you. As long as you've always treated her right and never disrespected her, she will realize what she lost. Like they say, you don't know what you have till you've lost it. :)

Just thought I'd let everyone know we are back together, but she wants to stay in separate housing for now... and o you I fet like I wanted to die for the last 2 days of no communication, omg the worst 2 days of my life I can't even explain it, but then she texted me telling me she wanted to come over, so she did and we talked and she wanted to get back together she just needs more her time. And also I broke the no communication the first 3 days I was suppose to. I had to tell her how I felt.

Congratulations! You are one of very few people who are dumped and manage to get back.

Unfortunately in the process you gave away all and every "power" you had. Hope you Keep us updated on your relationship progress. Could be good for those who come here for positive news.

WoW, reading this post it remended me of me, and what I went through 0.0... my thoughts... wow was I really that stupid...

Hey in the end we still and won't get back together and I'm still messed up BTU I don't think I'm going to let it get to me like it used too...

0.0 Gratz that your back together wish you the best!

Thanks for showing me its not worth the drama!

:)

Begging, being needy, letting a anyone walk all over is not attractive behavior. Cut all forms of communication. If she really loves you she will come back herself. But from the way you handled the whole thing -- it's over men!

Homie... I feel for you, congrats on getting back together but I really hope you'll man up this time. I went through what you went however I had my pride and self respect. You need to be a man this time. Cause you will end up being her safety blanket from now on. She will have you wrapped around her finger so when things don't work out with the next guy, she'll have good ol' ex boyfriend to fall on. Good Luck...

Not to be mean, but, this relationship won't last long with the kind of character you hold.

I know you are hurting right now. I am going through some stuff myself (more intense then yours) It will get better. Time will make things better. From the things you are saying she doesn't want you and doesn't really care about you. I think you need to move on, surround yourself with family and people who love you. I can't help you with the eating factor cause I can't seem to keep anything down either right now but keep yourself hydrated.

Ohhh. sod off.

Come back when your head is on right.

i can't talk to you or help you
if you act like this..

If you can't understand whats going on. and what you need to do.. to change

then Enjoy your mess kid.

No one can love her like i do

Ha! Give me a F@@ING BREAK!

Dude you have to listen to him. No one can help you if you can't help yourself. You say that you don't think a lot of people really go through this well it's the truth people do. I myself have just been dumped 2 days ago from a 5 years relationship. I lived with her the last 2 years until now. It hurted me a lot but boom here I am on this site with now 3 post and I'm trying to be as strong as I can be. See it as becoming a man. Become a new person. I swear after this you will look at life differently. Before you can love someone you have to love yourself. You can't be happy with just one person. You need balance in your life. And that's what I'm trying to find too. Good luck bro.

these people know nothing. I just expereinced what you experienced. Yea it hurts too much to describe. All you can do is listen to this and cry some more. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih4bm-91Wq4

then after you are done crying then listen to this and ccry some more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUfIKX5ReKQ

I watch these over and over and cry and cry, and there is no end to the pain.

she loves another man. She is probably going to sleep with him soon. I am 21. She is 27. He is 27 too. I am the odd one out. Actually I do think I am going to kill myself.

but first, going to drink myself and these emotions away in the car listening to bright eyes, and m ward, and then I will probably just walk into the ocean. Actually no that is too scary. I want to die slowly. I will just cut these wrist of mine and these swolen fists and my broken bedroom walls will heal one day.

Well I think we can be a little more sensitive instead of putting this dude down. From my own personal experience dude... I have had 2 long-term relationships, and both of them ended up with me getting dumped cause girls these days(younger ones) have NOOOOO CLUE what they want. I have no ing clue why, it makes me crazy. But TrueFaith is right man. Even if you still wait for her or give her some time, you NEED to have some self-respect and dignity. You should tell her that you WON'T wait for her forever and if she wants back in she needs to make up her mind quick. Girls these days treat guys like , and when they finally come across an amazing guy, they peace out cause they're "not sure." the most recent one broke up with me after 4 years and I'm in the same boat as you wondering what the heck to do now. But at LEAST I know who I am and am proud of it regardless of whether I have a girl. You need to get that back and get some friends so you can grow as a person. If she comes back, then good for you or whatever I hope it works out. But you need to stop communicating with her this much and take time to yourself. I'm pulling for you bro but you got to stand up and FIGHT like TrueFaith said. You're in 20? You have like what... 60 years to find another girl? I never thought I would move on from the first one, and then I had a 4 year relationship with another girl and it was WAY better. So whether I get back together with my girl I told her I'm moving on so that she knows she doesn't have forever... because NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO WAIT! It's bull. For all I know I might meet an amazing girl who never hurts me and I can be done with this crap. So I know how you feel, but think of the positive man. You're stomach hurts cause you're dragging your emotions too far down. Laugh in the face of the that is life... NOTHING in life is going to work out perfectly the way you want it to... ESPECIALLY when it comes to love.

Good luck man all the best! Hope I helped a bit.