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debdoes
Nov 28, 2008, 08:03 PM
It's been 4 weeks since my ex and I broke up and 2 weeks since the final text he will ever send me... Anyways, I think I'm somewhat OK, when I'm drunk. I go out pretty much every night and I get bombed so I could pass out at night. And I have fun. But right now I'm at home and so miserable! (Too tired and hungover from partying all night, and then working all day) And it sucks right now, cause I constantly think of him and wonder why and how he could get along without me when I'm having a hard time. I don't know what else to do with myself but go drinking. I feel so much better when I do, as stupid as it sounds, except for the hangovers. I met a guy this week too and we've been hanging out. Him and his girlfriend just broke a week ago. So, it's cool, we're kind of taking eachothers minds off the exes. I know we won't go anywhere, I'm fine with that. Is it really wrong that we're doing this? It's really weird. When I'm with him, I'm just thinking about my ex and how it's not the same... I know we are both rebounding. Not sure what else to do to take my mind off my ex. It seems to be somewhat working when I'm drinking and meeting other guys... I don't have a lot of friends to hang out with since most of them are married and have grown up, except for me. I'm 32 and all my friends that I can hang out with are a few years younger and like partying. Which is good, but wow, I'm way too old for this! I just want this misery to go away...

DDLM55
Nov 28, 2008, 08:14 PM
Don't drink. You're killing yourself, and not going anywhere in life. You're wasting your money and time. Call some of your friends that are married and ask them to hang out with you for a night or two to help you get over this guy. You need to vent, and you need to stop drinking. If you have friends then DO NOT be afraid to ask them for your help. Tell them your story and ask them for their support in getting you back on your feet.

TrueFaith
Nov 28, 2008, 08:15 PM
Well going out every night and drinking your problems away..


Is... Pathetic.

But here is the good news at least you know it.
So Change that! Right now
Stop the drinking
It never solves anything and will just leave you a wreck. And you will look a lot older. Before your time..

Other than that

Read the stickies up in this form

You are not alone in this pain. Everyone has been there. Even I have.

Its hard one a loved one leaves you. Its almost like a death of a family member.
And its even more harder to see them move on so easy

When it is so hard for you
But remember they probable have moved on Months in advance before they said anything to you

So they got a good head start.

All this feeling of how and why
Is just your PRIDE. Its hurt right now. And that is OK
But don't waist more of your time thinking about someone that does not think about you!

Time to think about yourself :)

Take up a hobby or music lessons
Anything fun and creative that will give you some self esteem once you complete a taste.


And millions of posts are here to help you out :) trust me. You are not alone

Don't drink so much
Try not to think about him
Move on with your life!


All the best

COOKIE MONSTER
Nov 28, 2008, 08:25 PM
Awww now come on hun
You know your not doing yourself any good drinking and partying
All the time to take your mind off him.
Join the gym,get a new hobby painting,photography anything but pissing you life away.
You need time to heal stay away from the men,get your head together woman act your age find new friends your own age that don't go drinking 24/7

debdoes
Nov 28, 2008, 08:29 PM
Lol... I know, I need to grow up but this is torture! I'd rather be doing shots! Anything to kill the pain!

TrueFaith
Nov 28, 2008, 08:33 PM
Lol...I know, I need to grow up but this is torture!! I'd rather be doin shots! Anything to kill the pain!!


Pain is there for a reason

Confront IT!

Don't be weak and run away from it. Or try and cover it with Shots.

Be strong

BrewCrew0981
Nov 28, 2008, 08:34 PM
So, what you are really saying is: "I'm going to let someone else actions turn me into an alcoholic."? Drinking to take away the pain, is the first step in a downward spiral of depression and alcoholism. Stop before it's to late. No guy is worth it. Be good to yourself.

h0llister
Nov 28, 2008, 08:36 PM
OK drinking is not the answer! On the weekends it OK I suppose but its not an answer to a problem. You need to find a hobbie or go to the movies instead. You will never be able to get over this breakup if you keep on hiding your feelings with alcohol. I think its good you made a friend to talk to to about your ex but keep in mind if you always talk about ex's with him, it will take sooo much longer to get over your ex. Maybe try to do or talk about other things together. You will get through this, start making goals for yourself... maybe start a saving account for something you really want, or learn a new language :) best wishes with you, and keep us posted :)

COOKIE MONSTER
Nov 28, 2008, 09:45 PM
Lol... I know, I need to grow up but this is torture! I'd rather be doing shots! Anything to kill the pain!

Its not funny you came on here for help,not to laugh and say you know!
If you know then stop being so stupid and immature and bloody well cop on,your 32 not 15 and your supposed to know better.im 7 years younger than you and I think you behaviour is disgraceful!!
You go and drink your shots if that's what you think is better,I don't even know why you bothered posting.
You think your OK pissing your wages down the toilet, how responsible!
Have you even read your post its sounds so Pathetic and I am probably going to get b**ched at for this post but come on how old are you??
You don't know what else to do other than drink? Now come on you must have a bloody brain in there some where!
What are you good at?
There's millions of things for you to keep yourself occupied- kick boxing,reading,join a course after work like cooking lessons,photography,art,web design,swimming,a book group.

And as for this guy you met ''HELLO'' he could be a nut case,meeting guys and getting drunk is not the awnser,they could take advantage of you,even force you to do something you don't want to do.

My friend met a guy in a pub in the uk good few years back now but it could happen to you,he bought her drinks all night said he was taking her home.
She ended up in the back of a van and several guys repeatedly raped her.
You could be killed by your stupid immature actions!!

If you need support we are here for you
But you really need to sit down and think about what the hell you are doing to yourself!
Killing your kidney and your liver to get over him clever that is.
Pissing your wages down the drain when you could use if for a vacation or to do something you always wanted to do.
This guy has moved on and you need to realise he's not coming back,so you have to move on to.

PICK YOURSELF UP!
DUST Yourself OFF!
AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!
BECAUSE HE'S NOT WORTH IT!!
YOU DESERVE BETTER!

JohnD212
Nov 28, 2008, 10:16 PM
Just remember that when you're body and mind are tired... stress and sorrow seems so much more intense. It's hard to see the world clear when your body chemistry is messed up every night from drinking. Be careful... drinking often leads to some drug use (especially if you're in bars or clubs a lot). I know you think its making the pain easier.. but its not. It's actually just pushing it deeper... and it'll wait for you to finally deal with it... sober.

Remember... its more painful if it buries itself deep inside you and waits... deal with these feelings now. Trust all of us. We've done this or we're doing it. Nothing wrong with a drink or two but you're out of control. You're involving a new man... and you really think that's smart... even if you say you understand its not going anywhere... it will only leave you in more pain.

Just stop now. Deal with the pain my friend.

COOKIE MONSTER
Nov 29, 2008, 05:48 AM
Drinking often leads to drug use!
Well that's the biggest load of crap I have ever herd,that is not true at all.
DID YOU DO RESEARCH TO GET THAT AWNSER??
You know surveys ask the public [people who actually have taken drugs] not people who think they know everything and never touched a joint in there life.
I don't drink never really have and I was drug user,most of my old friends take drugs and they don't drink either.

People take drugs because they want to fit in with everybody else or they have problems that they can't find the awnsers for and see it as a easy way to forget them.
Drink doesn't plant the ''im going top do drugs seed'' in the brain.
And taking 1 drug doesn't lead to another that's bull aswel

uvware
Nov 29, 2008, 06:16 AM
You need to pull yourself together.

Look we all have had our hearts broken and you probably compound that because you are in your 30's. I was 32, when my fiancé and I broke up after 5 years. I was devastated, did the same thing for awhile I thought... that's it, it's over I'm going to be single forever. Who's going to want me now. I was totally wrong. I found the man of my dreams, thank God I had pulled myself together before I meet him.

I don't know if you are a co-depent type... but whether you are or not (it makes it tougher if you are) you need to step back and ask yourself...

Who are you as a women? What do you stand for? What do you want in life? Who is in control?

This breakup should hurt (you're human) but not put you in a state of misery, self doubt and self destruction. Come on now, WHO ARE YOU? Do you WANT a man or NEED a man. If it's the later, then you need to spend some more time on yourself and getting to know you. The best relationships and marriages are when two indivdual people come together and continue to be individuals. By the end of my relationship that I told you about I didn't even know how I liked my eggs cooked because I always got what he got. Believe me, most men admire women who know what they want, they don't want a puppy dog following them around waiting for their every move.

So every time you want o break out the photo album, listen to "your song" and go visit the places where you had dates. Stop yourself.

Write a list of what you want to accomplish and focus on that. You must have a place you want to travel to, a hobby you want to start, family you should go visit, gym you should join, museum you want to see... you are the author of your life. Live it, accept that it's over.

talaniman
Nov 29, 2008, 07:30 AM
Alcohol is a depressant, and any problem you have will still be there, made worse by the hangover.

Do yourself a favor, and heal by doing something other than drinking yourself into a stupid... er... stupor.

JohnD212
Nov 29, 2008, 10:25 AM
drinking often leads to drug use!
well thats the biggest load of crap i have ever herd,that is not true at all.
DID YOU DO RESEARCH TO GET THAT AWNSER?????
you know surveys ask the public [people who actually have taken drugs] not people who think they know everything and never touched a joint in there life.
i dont drink never really have and i was drug user,most of my old friends take drugs and they dont drink either.

people take drugs because they want to fit in with everybody else or they have problems that they can't find the awnsers for and see it as a easy way to forget them.
drink doesn't plant the ''im going top do drugs seed'' in the brain.
and taking 1 drug doesn't lead to another thats bull aswel

Sounds to me like you have other issues beyond what this person is dealing with. Using her thread to express your opinion about this topic is not appropriate. NO where did say it was a guaranteed gateway but those environments where people drink to excess also have drugs (and yes.. I've been there for both drinking and drugs). Drinking helps to lower our reluctance to try things... I've been there. I was only give her caution to avoid further dependencies in order to erase the pain.

debdoes
Nov 29, 2008, 05:36 PM
I'm not into drugs... sure I've tried a couple less addictive ones when I was younger... but it's not for me, and I work in a bar so I'm around it all the time. As for the guy I met, he's a friend of a friend and we just hang out sometimes, nothing crazy. We both aren't looking for anything. Ya, I do think I'm going to be alone forever because there aren't many guys out there now that are my age and single. But I am very dependent, I don't NEED a guy, I just want the ex guy. And the city I live in now is going downhill. I want out of here! But I'm kind of stuck because I own a house and none are selling right now since the market is so bad. I have a college diploma and I just got my university degree as well. So you, I sort of know what I want in life, but again, for now I'm stuck and there are no career jobs here! GRRR... who wants a bartender?

womaningirl
Nov 29, 2008, 07:53 PM
Drinking on a daily basis the way your doing it is not the right rode
It is a rode to alcoholism and I dought u want to be a pathetic drunk all your life

Like u said your too old for this so get up have fun but don't get drunk
Meet new people and if the problem is that your ex hasn't spoken to u contact him and be friends which is hard to do after a break up

Oh don't forget to meet new people and if u are meeting new people I dought u want them to think that u are a natural drunk or that on a daily basis u get drunk