Mandyjanek
Nov 28, 2008, 12:00 PM
I have been with a man for 18 months and the last two months have been very tough. I broke up with him mid-Sept out of frustration, then missed him so much and said I had made a mistake. He then said it was the right thing to be apart and he was sure I would find someone else. That was until he found out I had a date, I started getting abusive texts and the day after the date he bombarded me with calls saying because I hadn't answered the phone, I had obviously slept with this man, "clearly he had made the right decision breaking up with me as I had lowered myself and we had very different values." He added how this had made it easy for him to move on... (just to clarify - [I did NOT sleep with this guy).
After a month apart we got back together (mid Oct)but instead of trying to make an effort his behaviour became worse over the last 4 weeks. He would antagonise me (I am trying to start a business and he would scoff at it and say it'll never work). His possessiveness did not stop either. After about 4 months together he began checking my phone and constantly questioned me - never trusted even though I've always been faithful. He would withhold affection and cuddle his daughter,completely cutting me out. It would wind him up if I seemed confident or strong and then he would either react by not being affectionate again or by antagonising me - he would swear about my dog "that F@$%&ing dog, I hate that dog" when I would come round to his place on weekends.
My initial frustration came from his lack of trust, he also did not make much effort with my son. After 6 months we had tried living together but his daughter gave me a really hard time. He would criticise the way I was with her and just seemed to always find fault, it always seemed to be about his needs. SO, after 6 months I moved out again but we continued seeing each other. He has never coped with me not being near him (I am now one hour away from him - where I used to live) and this frustration seems to be taken out on me.He would say he couldn't see a future, couldn't see us all living together and hinted at ways I could have my son looked after - by his Dad or boarding school - again, all about his needs. Despite his annoyance at the situation he never came up with constructive ways to move forward - he is very wealthy and could easily have helped to make it easier for me to see him more often - e.g. by helping to pay for a nanny for son.
I tried so hard yet he has still rejected me - he broke up with me 3 days ago after I challenged him and his awful behaviour. He said he is going to see a therapist next week to try sort his head out as he knows he's not giving me what I need. Why on Earth am I so distraught over a man who didn't even treat me well?He said he still loves me and does not want to see anyone else but needs time to figure his head out.
Do I just expect too much or am I too sensitive? Does he seem quite controlling?
Please help - think I am going mad and doubt myself so much!
After a month apart we got back together (mid Oct)but instead of trying to make an effort his behaviour became worse over the last 4 weeks. He would antagonise me (I am trying to start a business and he would scoff at it and say it'll never work). His possessiveness did not stop either. After about 4 months together he began checking my phone and constantly questioned me - never trusted even though I've always been faithful. He would withhold affection and cuddle his daughter,completely cutting me out. It would wind him up if I seemed confident or strong and then he would either react by not being affectionate again or by antagonising me - he would swear about my dog "that F@$%&ing dog, I hate that dog" when I would come round to his place on weekends.
My initial frustration came from his lack of trust, he also did not make much effort with my son. After 6 months we had tried living together but his daughter gave me a really hard time. He would criticise the way I was with her and just seemed to always find fault, it always seemed to be about his needs. SO, after 6 months I moved out again but we continued seeing each other. He has never coped with me not being near him (I am now one hour away from him - where I used to live) and this frustration seems to be taken out on me.He would say he couldn't see a future, couldn't see us all living together and hinted at ways I could have my son looked after - by his Dad or boarding school - again, all about his needs. Despite his annoyance at the situation he never came up with constructive ways to move forward - he is very wealthy and could easily have helped to make it easier for me to see him more often - e.g. by helping to pay for a nanny for son.
I tried so hard yet he has still rejected me - he broke up with me 3 days ago after I challenged him and his awful behaviour. He said he is going to see a therapist next week to try sort his head out as he knows he's not giving me what I need. Why on Earth am I so distraught over a man who didn't even treat me well?He said he still loves me and does not want to see anyone else but needs time to figure his head out.
Do I just expect too much or am I too sensitive? Does he seem quite controlling?
Please help - think I am going mad and doubt myself so much!