* I am sorry It is so wordy. I tried to give as much detail as possible.

My half-brother and his girlfriend were charged with possession of a controlled substance and felony child endangerment in August and their then 9-month-old daughter was placed in DHS custody. She has been with a foster family since that night.

My step-mother, her paternal grandmother was unable to obtain temporary custody and my other siblings are in college and were not able to balance school and a child.

I got the caseworkers name from a friend who works for DHS in the city my family lives.

I called her and told her I was more than willing to provide kinship care.

I am a 30 year old single teacher who has worked with special needs teens and adults, as well as children who have been sexually and physically abused or neglected. I have passed the state and federal criminal background checks ; as well as fingerprinting and had the home assessment.

My local case worker said that all 8 of my references gave glowing recommendations in my favor.

Both the caseworkers in my howetown and my current city have given their thumbs up, but I am still waiting for the approval of 2 more people from DHS.

The social worker ,in my city, on Tuesday, said I a looking at a month or more wait.

Today, Thanksgiving nonetheless, I was told by a friend who works for DHS that their supervisor said the only thing she sees standing in my way of a judge granting me temporary custody is the fact that I live 5 hours away from her parents and It would be hard for me to drive there every week for the parents weekly 1 hour visitation.

No one, not even the caseworkers, believe that my brother and his girlfriend can straighten their lives out and I have been told because my niece is so young, the state will strip the parents of their rights within the next 10 months.

I have been trying to get custody so if her parents do lose their rights , she will remain with family and not adopted out to people we don't know and us not being able to remain in contact. With her.

I want to adopt my 1 year old niece.

I have also found out her foster family want to file to adopt her depending on the removal of her parents rights.


* My questions are:

- Has anyone been in the position where they have not been able to get custody because of distance ?

- What are the chances of a judge denying me custody and granting It to the foster parents because she will have been with them 4 months by the time I am finished with the process of obtaining kinship guardianship ?

First we need to be clear that in almost every case, the parents have 12 months to get their lives together enough to be able to handle themselves and their children.
Now, I know it is hard to see your niece in anothers home, but if you look at the brighter side, she is in better hands.
Now lets look at the option of you taking control over her life. You seem to have your ducks in a row and have a great background when it comes to kids. That is great and it may just sway to your side because you ARE family and you ARE experienced with children.

I seriously think you should try and get at least some legal authority on your side.
I see that if the rights are stripped from the parents, then distance from them will not be as much an issue as others are telling you.
It all depends on the judge and how he/she looks at the situation, there is no way to really tell what they will say about the child already being bonded to the foster parents that have her now.
I wish you loads of luck and wished I could have answered a little better, I haven't had experience with a family member trying to get custody of a child. I just noticed that you hadn't gotten a response and wanted you to know that someone saw your post and cares. Hugs!

UPDATE: THe home assessment was approved by both Child Protective Services offices in my home town and the city where I live.

I get to go transition visits beginning next weekend and then they are requesting a placement hearing so I can get custody.

Her parents are back in jail.
My nieces moms lawyer is fighting me getting custody because I am 5 hrs away.

I ask, what does it matter ? She hasn't seen her child in over a month because she is in jail.

I will update soon.

Thanks for coming back, I ALWAYS love an update! Good luck!

Six weeks my brother and his girlfriend had their next to last permanency hearing.
During that hearing, the judge ordered that I begin visitation with my niece.

I had already begun visitation the previous weekend. I have a pretty open relationship with the foster mom and cps said that anytime I am in town, I can have her, as long as I coordinate with the foster mom.

My brother's lawyer said he had a problem with the distance. My brother tried to tell the judge during court that he had no probablem with me. Providing kinship care. His lawyer, however, would not let him speak.

Since then, my brother and his lawyer have talked to the judge about the parents' wishes for me to provide kinship care.

The judge did express some concern about my nieces abiity to bond with her parents because she is now only 16 months and I do live a few hours drive away, and ordered that we talk to a specialist to do an intake assessment to see how I bond with her and to come up with a plan to keep her connectd to her parents.

The judge told the lawyers of my brother and his girlfriend, as well as the CPS case worker and her superviso to get in touch with the specialist that day, before I left town. €hey were unable to.

I was told by the CW the specialist would be contacting me within 3 days of court.

After a week went by, I emailed the CW asking if she had heard from her. She said that it would be another week or so.

I also got calls from the caseworker, all of which I let go directly to voice mal, so I would have a record of her contact with me.

I called her back right after each call and I was told she has been in constant contact with the specialist.
I was told the specialist wanted to to it all over the phone.
She kept telling my I wasn't supposed to initiate contact with the specialist because she was supposed to initiate contact. |he would not give me contact information.

She had told the foster mom that the specialist would be calling her this week to ask her about my bonding with my niece.
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After 6 weeks of waiting, I called the specialist and asked when we would schedule time to talk because I have to find someone to take over my class while we talk because I have to schedule a sub, even for a few minutes, in advance.

She had no idea who I was, who my niece was, and had never received any contact from the CW. She said she NEVER initiates contact and the case worker should have given me her phone number 6 weeks ago to contact her.

She said she never knows who the court wants her to do assessments on until the person contacts her directly.

She also said the case worker lied when she told me she would be doing it all over the phone. She said she never does interviews or assessments over the phone.

She also said she was sorry I was basically lied to and told me to call the CW and tell her to send my nieces file to her ASAP so she could schedule a day to meet as soon as possible.

She also said since she had no knowledge of my niece or her case, she hadn't said anything to the case worker about talking to the foster mom.

I called and emailed the lawyers, the CASA volunteer and her supervisor, as well as the CW's supervisor.

The lawyers were out of town and the CASA supervisor said she would be emailing the casework and her supervisor ASAP.

I have yet to hear from the CPS supervisor. Then again, its only been 2 days so I don't anticipate hearing anything so soon.
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This is not the first time the CW has lied. She has previously scheduled my brother to take drug tests when she knew he was incarcerated and then wrote in her paperwork that he just didn't show up.

She has said that he never turned in paperwork to get into drug programs, yet his lawyer has shown proof of the forms being faxed to her on several different occasions.

She has made inappropriate remarks to me about my brother and his girlfriend.

She has made up things about another relative who was also interested in providing care in favor of going with me getting care.

That relative cannot afford legal representation but has shown proof of her innocence in the false allegations made by the CW against her.

The caseworker is supposed to do home visits once a month. In the 7 months my niece has been in CPS custody, she has never visited once. She has been reported.

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We don't know where to turn. The caseworker has had several complaints against her for case mis-management.

She has lied time and time again.

My bro and his girlfriend are afraid to make a formal complaint because they are afraid it would hurt their case.

They understand that they are likely to lose custody because they waited 6 months to begin getting their act together, but they know that if they have made enough progress by the next permanency hearing, they will be able to file for a 6 month extension.

I am afraid to call the Ombudsman and make an official complaint for fear of retalliation from a caseworker who has shown that she will do anything to cover her tracks and has gotten away with it several times even though her supervisor has been informed of her misdeeds.

Granted, my brother and his girlfriend's lawyers won't be back in their offices until sometime next week.

I meet with a lawyer on Monday but I know I have no real legal standing because I am not one of the parents or a legal guardian. I'm just talking to a lawyer to see what my options are.

CPS is a beast that even with legal representation, cannot be challenged.

WHO ELSE CAN I TURN TO ?

I am more than willinging to provide care for my niece and eventually adopt her and her unborn sibling if that child is taken as well, should need be.

I just want to make sure that its all done by the book, by all sides of this complicated spectrum.

You have an Attorney - or will soon be consulting with one. My "legal" advice would be to do NOTHING until you receive advice from that Attorney. He/she is very familiar with the circumstances and the laws and is in the best place to advise you.

I also think this is a legal question and you might receive legal answers on that board.

If you are looking for family relationship advice, then you are certainly in the right place now.

*Update*

I was awarded custody. After several months of "hurry up and wait", I can relax a little. It's temporary custody until August. If no extension is given to her parents or their parental rights are terminated, I will begin the adoption process.

*Update*

I was awarded custody. After several months of "hurry up and wait", I can relax a little. It's temporary custody until August. If no extension is given to her parents or their parental rights are terminated, I will begin the adoption process.

I was just curious as to what happened in August. Did you get permanent custody of your niece? We are in a very similar situation. We cannot get temporary custody of our niece because we are in Nebraska and she is in Missouri. She has been in foster care since June. Our homestudy and background checks have all come back fine and paperwork has finally made its way to the right people in Missouri. We are just waiting to see what happens next. I'm in fear of two things... that the state will say that she has been in foster care long enough for her current foster family to legally adopt her and/or that they will require she is to be paired with one of her sibilings in order for us to adopt her. We have three children of our own, and the sibling they have mentioned wanting to pair her with has been diagnosed with RAD which I know we are not ready to work through right now - especially with the young, impressionable ages of our children. Did you get a lawyer? If so, did that help?

Update. I forgot I posted on here.



The biological parents relinquished their rights before August.

Everything was going smoothly until the maternal Grandparents, who had never been involved with this child because she is biracial. Decided they wanted her after I took my now daughter to their house once to visit her birthmother because that was where the birthmother as living.

The placement and adoption tore my family (my paternal relatives.) apart because they weren't willing to accept my role as her then foster parent. We are no longer on speaking terms and surprisingly very little of the drama was coming from the birthparents themselves.



There was an ugly custody battle with my now daughter's maternal and paternal (my relatives) birth grandparents teaming up against me, that postponed the adoption for a few months.

The judge ruled in my favor.

Seven months ago, I adopted my beautiful daughter and I love every minute of being her Mommy.

I like yourself has lots of many knowledge of kids.. but then again I have always known that staying positive is always the best thing.. as for foster parents remember this yes they have attachment with her but they are also being paid to look after this niece of yours and the fact is your coming forwad also helps make this fesible in yourr case... the foster parents need too be aware that just because they took her in from a young age they don't necessary would be the benfit of raising a child in there care NOT SAYING THEY WOULD NOT LOVE HER IF SHE WAS THERE OWN but because they are a foster parent in my books yes they love a child BUT THEY GET PAID TOO LOOK AFTER THIS CHILD YOU ARE SEEKING TOO ADOPT.. best of luck and hope all goes will with you..