If you red my previous post. This is a bit of a update.

See this break I had has taught me a lot. The number one thing it has taught me was to keep it real. And be confident. And never hide what you actually feel. Which is why tonight. I told my ex how I feel. I told her that I want this to work. I told her I loved her and that I miss her. I said pretty much everything, from my actions as to how insecure and how much of a wreck I was. How I lied even if it wasn't so major, that it was wrong and that I felt bad. I told her that as for the person she fell in love with. It was never gone. There is no going back to the way it was before. Because that's the past. And this is the present. That I am a person who has fallen in love and wants this to work. I explained and after I told her take all the time you need to think about this. Because I have let out so much so I don't expect you to have an answer overnight. But when your ready to talk ill be here. And I left it at that. Told her to enjoy her day tomorrow. And she said all right.

I had to. I couldn't hold it. I thought that I could be friends but I really am in love with this girl. I will not call nor text for that being said the rest I guess is up to her. Did I do the right thing? Please give me sum sort of feedback.

If you said all you had to say then you should leave it at that and try to move on, don't expect that call cause it might come it might not. I'm going thrugh the same thing I want her back badly I told her every mistake I had made and I was willing to change things. She said she wanted to stay friends but honestly I would just be giving myself false hope like that. I told her almost the same things you told yours. I want her back badly but I'm not expecting her to come back, maybe one day, but who knows I might have moved on by then or might go back. I know I love her more than anything, and would do anything for her.

Whether we do or don't. The point is. I tried. You don't know unless you try right? I really do want this to work. But for the moment ima take this time to do me and relax. And get my mind off it. Thanks for the advice please comment more guys I could use a lot of advice now lol

I'm in a worse situation I had bought tickets to go to another country with her before this happened, she's going for sure cause her mom lives there, and I have family there too. A part of my wants to go and risk everything and try and get her back but I might just give myself false hope, and get shot down again. She shot me down once already when I begged her to take me back. Well I think if you tried everything you can and let her know then, in the end you know you did all that you can do to make it work out. I know I did everything and want to even try even more by going with her but I don't think I'm going to go, I do feel like risking it all again, but I'll probably end up hurting myself. Maybe one day if it was meant to be then she'll just come back I guess.

Lol if you want to chat with someone who's going through the same thing my msn is [email protected] or nivekdrol on aim

The thing to do is have one post that you can add to, and stop a lot of confusion, with readers.

As hard and as breaking up is, its also an opportunity to regroup, and be better.

The healing process takes time, and its much easier focusing on you, and the things you enjoy, and the people you like being around.

Its frustrating and annoying. When you know you did something wrong and you just want to tell them that they understand, and that they just want a second chance. Not to screw up again and go back down that same downward spiral, but to make it better.

A while ago she said OK its like this there's an 80% chance she thinks its not going to work. And a 20% chance it will... and at first I was like well I guess I got some work to do. But last night I told her str8 up that number doesn't mean jack. Its not all about what if. Its about is it worth it? I made up my mind and I said what I said. Now she got to ask herself is it worth it? That's the thing about all relationships when people break up. If they come back that's the first question you ask. Is it worth it? Has he or she learned from it? That you can give this another go? Or is he still going to be the same. Time will tell. But if I kept what I was feeling it would have probably drove me more into thinking and wondering and I would never know. So now that I leave all of this to her for her to think her own way. What I really want. Is to relax. Be at peace. And if we do. Hey I guess keeping it real is the best thing. If not. I tried. I gave it my best. And I'm happy that at least I took a chance instead of not knowing at all.

This is what I think.

I think laying it all out there is good... if you only do it to have a final talk and move on. I suspect you might have said that expecting it to change her mind. It that's the case... you might have reversed a lot of the healing you'd already gone through. I think its sometimes better if you have a list of things you have to say... to put it in a letter or email and send it off. It gives you the time to re-read it and try to limit emotion in your words. It also limits exposure to emotional words from the other party.

Good luck to you. I hope your healing continues. Don't sit and wait for the reply. This might have convinced her that you are everything she thought and she might choose to stay away so you don't hurt or get angry anymore.

Meaningful relationships bring meaning to life. Remember that!

I love her. And I messed up because of my insecurities, and my paranoid behavior thinking she might have found someone else or she doesn't love me and doesn't want to be with me. I know I shouldn't wait for this reply. I told her take all the time u need to think about this because I have let out a lot towards u and I want to give u space. I love her for her for who she is as a person.

I need a beer lol =p

Feel free to comment more.

Well it still sounds like you said all you said cause you thought it would make a difference. I would say it probably won't. A lot that you told her she probably already knew... or at this point didn't care to hear. No contact my friend. Start to remove yourself from the pain that can come from contacting her. There is nothing wrong with you... both parties in a relationship make mistakes... its easy to sit back and say... I did this and I did this wrong... but what you're really doing is trying to convince her to return to ease your pain. It doesn't work that way.

Not all relationships are meant to last forever... some are a learning stone on your way to who you really should meet. I'm glad you got all that off your chest. Now move on. Start your life and the healing having no contact with her. Don't hate me for saying this.. but for your sake.. I hope she doesn't call unless she truly has changed her mind. Don't entertain anymore unhappiness in your life at her hands.

Good luck!

I just want to be happy. Thinking about this. Is annoying. And it hurts. But I will try my best and not contact her in any way. I have said and done enough.

Thanks. Nebodi can give me other advice as to how to move from this? Like how to stop thinking so much?

I want to be friends. But I know that that's not going to be the case now. I ono so much to think about this but its leaving me in a world of hurt and confusion.

Read the "stickies" at the beginning of this forum, and visit "The No Contact Calender" , you'll get some good suggestions, as to how to move on from those that have been there, and done that.

i want to be friends. but i know that thats not gonna be the case now. i ono so much to think about this but its jus leaving me in a world of hurt and confusion.

Yep.. hurt and confusion... sounds familiar... just realize that if you do No Contact... then the only pain you're feeling is from within you... she can't hurt you anymore... and so all you have to come to grips with is dealing with your own pain... and that will get better with time. There is no miracle solution for a broken heart... if there was... I'd BE RICH!!

its been two days. Its like I'm calm n happy. And then the next min she's on my mind. Its like I ono. The wondering comes back, does she miss me or think about me? Hell does she even love me = / I'm probably a wreck now. But I know in time, ill be better. I guess all of this ties down to the fact that I miss her.

Man I just want a answer. Honestly I rather her tell me no. then to have just leave it all on her. And not even contact me at all. 2 days of NC n I'm wondering still. Help.

no or yes just an answer. Something. = [

You are looking for "closure" when it is already there. Just accept it is over and move on. Your seeking an 'answer' is going to drive you nuts. Start getting yourself together by tackling step one: accept and truly believe it is over!

Actually its not all on her, its all on YOU.

I've been on this NC for 4 days.. I thought I might write something. Ive used this site to express feelings and to get feedback. So I figured id write a blind letter to my ex explaining how I feel. You guys can comment if you like.

Dear Ex,

I have been thinking about you constantly these last few days. Its still hard that we are not together anymore. But I learned a lot, and still am even now. The #1 thing is to never forget who you are, and don't let your insecurities get the best of you. For that its pretty much what made me so much of a annoying wreck towards u. Because I didn't learn.

It would always be once a week we would argue for two months. And it was hell. The bad did outweigh the good in our relationship as every time we made up we would still argue. Mostly because of me. I have lied to you. Even though it wasn't big lies, it was a lie nonetheless. I have acted like a fool, and was too clingy towards you. Although we live in different states, the point is I don't need to be ringing up your fone so many times to talk. There is always the next day or even later on. And my mushyness, I know you are not much of a romantic type person. I'm not either. But every time I made a mistake I seem to use my emotions to back me out. The crying the begging the whole oh please don't leave me was getting old, and I didn't learn. And the amount of times that people would tell me to give her space and just relax you have nothing to worry about. I didn't listen. Instead I panic. And started to doubt myself. And even started to think things.

The one thing I regret. Was when I thought you had feelings for our friend. Probably because he was better looking or he made you laugh more at time where I was trying to just be calm. My jealousy has definitely made me not act like myself. And he was even giving me advice. I was a fool. To think a nice guy like him would stoop that low. And for that I apologize.

We had a lot of plans together. Our future to spend the rest of our lives together in marriage. For over a year I know you and describe you as the girl of my dreams. I honestly don't want it to be a dream. I have told you how I felt. And I told you that I don't want to get back together to screw up. But to just do better. Because I know I can. However how long will I wait is definitely a question. To be honest after 4 days I start to feel that everyday without an answer was a waste of my one day to live free. Because I don't know if your thinking about it. Or if you have alreadly move on and found someone else. You told me that you missed the person you fell in love with. And that your not saying we are going to be together. And your also not saying we are not. But you hope that ill get myself together and soon.

I don't need to look. Nor do a search on myself. Because like all of us. We have strengths and we have flaws. Some in which we don't know until it finally hits us on the head or someone lets us know. And that night when you told me that I needed to grow up. Gave me a wake up call. I know who I am. I don't need to change anything for anybody. I have a heart. I know I made mistakes. But I know I can learn from them and be a better person. I believe in myself. Honestly I do hope I hear from you soon. But if not. That's all right. Life goes on. And eventually I will too. But like I said. Whether we do get back together, or not. My heart will always be with you. Because no matter what I love you. You know what I want. If u were not worth it I would not have taken that chance and told you how I felt, instead I would have probably just kept it and try to move on. But there are few people I believe that are worth if I could word it out right, "chasing after" and for that I had to let go. There's a lot more I can say. But ill leave it at that... for now... but always remember I'm thinking about u.

I feel a little better after writing this. Feel free to comment.

Bobby

Glad you feel better, just don't send it.

Its slowly easing away... pain is still there.. this healing process.. how do you know when your healed? If that makes sense. Its like what if you never get over it. Or what if she does call?

And why is it when I think I'm OK. The whole what if she's doing this or that comes back? Its annoying.

I know it is hard man. I find myself sometimes worrying about what my ex is doing, especially around the holidays. But you know what, it doesn't matter what she is doing. I remember my friend telling me something that stuck with me for a long time. When I told him I was so afraid of my ex getting another boyfriend, he looked at me dead in my eyes and said, "And so what if she does. What exactly does that mean to you? Are you going to die because of this?" Just think about that for a minute. It doesn't kill you. It may sting a bit, but that doesn't mean you stop living. Her life is not worth yours. Remember that. It no longer matters AT ALL what she does. It has NOTHING to do with your life, so don't let it!

its slowly easing away... pain is still there.. this healing process.. how do you know when your healed? If that makes sense. Its like what if you never get over it. Or what if she does call?

You know you are healed when you don't have to worry about being healed. When you won't care whether she calls or not. When you can go a whole day without thinking of her. And you will get to the point where you will feel like that, as long as you keep pushing forward and stop looking back. I was once told that the hurt from a break up is like a wound, which if treated write will heal with time and all it will leave is a scar that will not hurt anymore but will be there to remind us and prepare us for our future decisions. So do whatever it takes or take as much time as you like to heal.

Maybe she left you because she is not a lesbian and you are a huge drama-queen.

So here's my ending to all of this. I talked to her last night. I asked her where do we stand in this? And told her I'm not going to be dissapointed in whatever decision you make. Just be honest. And she told me she wants to be alone and just do her, and focus on more important things. And I told her I respect that. I thanked her for her honesty. And I told her if you need anything I'm just a fone call away. I told her I love her but I think that was a little bit too much to say. But now that I know, I'm not so much as depressed or worried. The no contact I broke yes. But in regards to more pain, it kind of made me more relaxed. I don't have to worry anymore about this. Point is as long as she is happy with whatever she wants to do then I'm cool with it. From this point on I'm just doing me. And today being at school hanging with friends and enjoying class, I feel myself slowly getting better. Yeah I'm still missing her. But not as big as I used to. Honestly I would check myspace everyday to see her status. (yea I'm a bit too obessive) lol but now its like she is living her life, and I got to start living MY life. And I know I'm not fully healed but I know inside that eventually I will be.

I love this site. Shows me a lot about myself. I thought I was sort of an outsider at first here. But turns out I'm not the only one lol