Why do I find it so difficult to open up and tell my boyfriend everything that's happened in my life? He's told me everything about himself but my past is too shameful, I only told him the important stuff, but he wants every little detail. I want to tell him, but its so hard to talk to him without crying and he tells me that if I really wanted to be open with him, I wouldn't be crying. We've been dating for 16 months and are pretty serious

What kind of details does he want to know? I don't find it particularly healthy to explain every single detail of my past to someone. Who I am is who I am, and my past doesn't need to be over analyzed to determine that. I think it is important to open up and be honest with one another, but I am not sure what "details" mean exactly.

It's a red flag when someone guilts you into doing what they want, especially with the lack of compassion he is exhibiting.

Instead of feeling ashamed of your past, and crying, pay attention to his manipulating you.

I think he wants to know more things to hold over your head, later. Beware his motives.

No. Its just that we both want an honest relationship. And the details are stuff like why I don't talk to my ex's. I've written about it in my previous posts

You don't owe it to anyone to discuss something that upsets you. A supportive boyfriend would accept that it bothers you and leave it alone. The past is gone, nothing can change it. He is the present and looks to be future for at least, a little while and that's all he should be concerned with.

No. Its just that we both want an honest relationship. And the details are stuff like why I don't talk to my ex's. I've written about it in my previous posts

Hi, Und3c1d3d!

If you refer and infer that people here would know more about you by going to what you've written in your previous posts, then I would suggest that you keep what you're writing or asking about on the same thread, please.

This place doesn't work the same way that a chat room does, and if someone has already posted earlier about the same thing or something that's related to previous postings in different threads, then it can get very confusing for people to try to find the other threads in order to know what's happening.

It's best to be keeping comments that are related to the same question on the same thread.

Thanks!

I think your both starting to see each other without the rosy glasses, and your finding things you don't like.

Normal, since your basically strangers who moved pretty fast to get together.

Now you have to learn each others ways, and figure out how to deal with each other.

Wrapping your whole lives around each other, and forgetting about friends, or activities, you use to enjoy will make you feel isolated and frustrated, especially if he is pressing you about something your uncomfortable with.

For sure you had better learn to communicate with each other better, without pressure.

I know you have straightened up your act to be with him, but if he is pressing you, as opposed to talking in a caring way, I would be cautious.

Ask him what difference your past makes, and if it will change anything.

This is not a time to just go along with the program as your part of this relationship also and have as much right to space as he has to information.

How you deal with each other is what defines a relationship.