Hey guys,

I have this girl that has emailed me a few times. She found me on one of the dating websites I am on. She lives in Fargo, ND and I live in Baltimore, MD, a very long distance away. She emailed me and me being the nice guy I am decided to write a FRIENDLY email back. I didn't ask any deep questions, just basic "get to know you" questions.

So 3 emails later, she is now saying that she thinks I am the one and asking if I'm ready for a commitment.

I don't even know her, nor have I seen her before, with the exception of a couple of photos she sent.

She seems like she is really nice and good looking from the few pics I have... but I don't really know this person at all.

I want to tell her that she is moving way to fast for me and that I think we should start as friends right now, be fore we make any plans to meet or whatever.

I am trying to word my next message in a way to not hurt her feelings and to keep the lines of communication open as just FRIENDS right now.

This is what I have so far:

How are you today? Did you get all of your business stuff squared away alright? Sorry I haven't sent any pictures of myself yet, I've been pretty busy the last couple of days. I promise I will as soon as I can!

I like talking to you, and I'm glad I brighten your day. You seem like a very nice, successful, and attractive woman, but I think you are trying to move a little to fast for me right now. I would like to talk with you more and get to know you a little better before we make any plans to meet or anything like that.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I do enjoy writing you and getting emails from you, but I don't feel I really know you enough yet to start making any plans for anything right now. I hope you understand.


You think this will work? Any tips?

Thanks,
J

I think you are right on man! Some of the people on these dating websites are extremely freaky in trying to proclaim that you are the "one" when they don't even know you. In fact, I would not even pursue anything further for awhile. When someone tells me that after a few emails, that is when I bail out. You have a stage 5 clinger on your hands...

I know. I am wondering where all of this came from!! :eek:

You think I should bail? I was thinking that myself.

I like what you wrote back that should be fine. Personally I wouldn't even email her back. But Im sort of an @$$hole

I just sent what I had already.

Thanks!

Cool cool... it sounds good... let us know how this plays out... hope she realizes her mistake and slows down...

All the best :)

Good reply.

Just tell her lets enjoy our time getting to know each other :)

And you enjoy yourself as well ;)

Regards

To be honest with you - I fail to see ANY reason why you should pursue this relationship any further beyond casual online friends. The distance is too significant for practicality in my opinion, and her declarations are an ENORMOUS red flag - perhaps the biggest in all of online dating.

I often talk to the girls in my life who are on online dating websites and the common thread I find about them is that a lot of people on there are in love with the fantasy of magically meeting "the one" online and having a fairly tale romance.

With a guy who does it, it's super creepy because his talks about him being destined to meet her is scary.

With a girl who does it, it's much less creepy but only because most guys are not used to getting that kind of attention from a girl.

See her behaviour for what it is: super creepy and not at all called for considering that you guys have yet to have a face-to-face conversation.

Never had to do the online dating thing, but if I did, she would scare the heck out of me, and I would never respond again. That's a little much from an email.

But your reply was honest, so curious to know where it goes, since she is safely far away!!

I don't know what's up with this girl. Her emails are just weird. They are not just casual correspondences. They SUPER deep and emotional. I'm considering just not responding to her anymore. I mean if she doesn't get the message... then that would be the best thing to do.

It's like she doesn't even read my messages. For example, I sent her that reply and she comes back with a 6 paragraph email expressing her love to me! :confused: I can kind of understand maybe being a little clingy. Her last BF cheated on her w/ her best friend. Her parents died in a car accident... I mean those are some extraordinarily crappy things to happen to some one.

But the fact of the matter is... I don't know who she is really. There has been NO small talk, or talk of interests, or anything.

Here is a small part of the response I got from the message I sent above:

"I care alot abt you and what i mean is that i want to be with you soon.
Do i love you???? Don't you know by now?
Sweety must I show you how?, do I have to say?, Well Yes in every way.
Be happy my love. And never doubt that with each breath I take, I love you more."

Keep in mind this is just the FIFTH email correspondence. How can this be?

I think I'm going to let this one go before it moves any further. I agree with Ken and wolf... this is super creepy and the Red Flag couldn't be more red.

Stop all contact. This is bordering on "Fatal Attraction" stuff.

Agreed! I am not going to contact her anymore. This is too weird.