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View Full Version : How to get him to trust again


Numb011
Nov 25, 2008, 02:29 AM
Recently I had this guy contact me through the internet.. It was a complete accident as he mistook me for someone else, but once we got to talking we really clicked and decided to continue keeping in touch.

It eventually became something more and I believe we began to fall for each other.He told me he was keen on me and at one point even that he would marry me (which also scared me a little) The whole time I was rather reserved because lets be honest now... internet relationships are rather dodgy.

I knew he had an ex who he had been with for many years and had recently cheated on him, he told me he was over her, but I encouraged him to take more time to get over not her.. but what she did to him...

The other day another friend of mine contacted me and made a joke that had a completely innocent yet somewhat phallic connotation. This guy blew up at me completely, calling me names I would never repeat and told me I'm stuffing him around.. he was really angry and scared me somewhat.

I kept calm and told him that I understood why he could be feeling the way he is and why he may have trust issues.. but he won't listen to me...

I want to help him, whether he and I end up together or not.. But if that was before he and I have even met then how would a relationship with him be.
I have been down the road with jealous and untrusting guys and its never a good thing.
But if someone knows how I could help him regain his trust in women.. please let me know.

Thanks

baho
Nov 25, 2008, 03:11 AM
Get away, NOW!! He is showing signs of being a controlling and abusive person. You do not actually know him, so cut ties while it is easy. I know you want to try and help him, but leave that to people around him. Most of all be careful !

JBeaucaire
Nov 25, 2008, 05:35 PM
This guy is going to have to date some women, then LOSE them plain and simple over his bad behaviors. It has to happen. It's a painful and ultimately unavoidable process.

The only question is "do you want to be one of those women who goes through this miserable time with him"? The women that are part of this process won't end up with him. He has to LOSE those women over his behaviors for there to be ANY chance he'll stop acting that way.

So, is that on your dating agenda? Do you actually WANT to be miserable-and-mistreated-and-have-to-dump-him-girl-in-hopes-he'll-learn-something-and-have-a-normal-relationship-with-someone-else-in-the-future girl?