I am a 22 year old woman who just had sex for the first time 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend is extremely caring and gentle and does nothing wrong that I can figure out. Yet, I find no pleasure in sex. We talk about everything, and last night was the 8th try. As you can notice I've been counting, simply because it has been horrible. Last night was the first time that it did not hurt or cause me discomfort after the first minute or so.

He will perform oral on me until I am nearly the point of climax before we even try intercourse, and while that seems to make me more relaxed and the process easier, it still does not give me any sense of gratification and I am not even aroused when he is finished. I was not pressured into sex, I wanted to give my virginity to him because I love him. I just do not understand this issue. My libido is perfectly healthy, and I know my own body fairly well, sex aside.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Any suggestions? I'm starting to feel like there is something wrong with me.

I understand you love your boyfriend and at the time you felt giving him your virginity was the best decision. Sometime people are ready mentally in a relationship but not physically. The physical aspect of a relationship, is another expression of love. Some people (no offense) can't or have trouble expressing the physical aspect right. Just remember sex in a relationship is mind, body and soul into one. Maybe if you try different things like four play or more kissing etc... things will heat up a little more.

Sexual passion (and the sexual act) is a complicated endeavor for females in our American culture that is so hostile to human sexuality... backward religious teachings, cultural war on females body image, romantic notions, predatory men, more and more.

A female is just not going to have orgasms with a man if she has no *passion* for him, firstly. YOu may still be in the beginning stage of female sexual feeling and expression... masturbation and masturbation like activities.

I would suggest you spend time in developing your mind by reading about female sexuality and orgasmic potential, both fiction and non-fiction.

Best wishes, :)

Let sex just happen, do not force it and do not feel that you have to have it. If he isn't happy with that then go elsewhere sweetheart.

In response to what everyone seems to be saying..
There IS a degree of mentality involved in sex, but I find it hard to believe that it could be to this extreme.

Perhaps it is a neurological issue? Your clitoris and vulva are packed with nerves, and when friction is applied to these nerves you feel sex.
The thing that I'm curious about is, are you really not feeling ANYTHING at all? Does it just feel like he's rubbing his tongue on any other part of your body when he gives you oral?
Or are you saying that you aren't able to achieve orgasm?