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View Full Version : She just lost her boyfriend and I love her .


iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 05:44 AM
There is a girl in my university, I have big crush on her since 3 years ago, we are in 4th year of our studies , ( I am 23 she is like 22)

Last year I had a chance to get her (she had sent me some obvious signals)... but I wasn't able to use the chance, and in the summer she got a boyfriend .

Now her boyfriend just left for another country and now she is depressed , because she won't see him again .
She is depressed . She loved her .

By your idea what should I do ?
Should go to her like a friend ? Should I ask her out ? Should I tell her that how much I loved her duing these 4 years ?
Or should just tell her how beautifull she is ? Or I should be just cool and funny ?

If she started talking about her boyfriend and saying she is sad for him... then what should I tell her?
Should I say "To hell with him , forget him..." or I should say like "oh honey thats so sad, I am crying for you now..."

What should I do ? Please help me I am so in love with her

Justwantfair
Nov 21, 2008, 06:15 AM
You need to lay low and take things slow. She just got over a relationship that hurt her. Your best bet is to be a friend, it will take awhile for her to get over her ex, but she will appreciate someone to help her not be so sad all the time.

I would not bring up your feelings at this time. You could more likely become a rebound if you were to pounce so quickly after her becoming single. Give her some time and see how things develop naturally, don't push for anything right now.

ZoeMarie
Nov 21, 2008, 06:35 AM
I agree with Justwantfair. Give her some time to get over her ex, be her friend, and when she seems happier then you can bring up your feelings.

iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 06:57 AM
The thing is, after that last summer hat we used to talk in university, and she used to send me singals,
We haven't said hi to each toher,
And I found out the information about her BF- leaving her in a Secret way , (she doesn't know that I know )

2 weeks ago I saw her in university , I said to hi to her, but she seemed liked stressed and preteneded not seeing me,
Last week she saw me and said Hi in a stressfull way , I said hi back , we passed next to each other .

I think she has feelings for me , (perhaps)

Whatever, I will do your advise I will try to be a Friend .
Can I ask her to take her home by my car ? (we never done that before, all we have done together has been Small Talks last year)

When I am trying to be a good friend, should I avoid talking about her-EX-BF ?
Should I avoid mentioning that she is so beautifull by my idea ? Or it is okay to say that ?

I don't have her number yet, but I will ask her number .


Is there any article or tutorial , about how to behave with sad people who have lost their BF ?
I am not good in talking at all .

Justwantfair
Nov 21, 2008, 07:39 AM
I would just be a friend in the effect that if she needs a ride home, cause she always walks, I would offer one. Ask if she would like to go see a movie sometime, coffee, dinner. Find out what classes she is taking this year or if there is a class you take together offer to work together.

I wouldn't bring up her ex-bf, let her bring it up when she is comfortable. I wouldn't tell her she is beautiful too early in this process, she may need to hear it but you also don't want to scare her by acknowledging that you are interested in anything other than being her friend right now.

Her phone number is a great way to start.

You don't need to treat her like she is a sad person, although she maybe hurting right now, just listen when and if she decides to open up. Other than that you should be offering her a friendship that is an escape from thinking about losing her boyfriend.

iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 08:30 AM
I wonder what things I could talk about with her .

If she started sending me interest signals, should I also say how beauty she is ?

By the way, I am sure she knows that I have a big crush on her, I have always stared at her during these 3 years

Justwantfair
Nov 21, 2008, 09:00 AM
There isn't a set dialogue, just go with the flow. If it feels right you can tell her she is beautiful. Just don't push right now, she is in a vulnerable state. Your best bet is to talk about regular things, find out more about her. What she has been up to lately? What her likes/dislikes are.

michelehamilton
Nov 21, 2008, 09:04 AM
Hi first and foremost be her friend don't smother her with all that other stuff up front and listen to her and let her cry on your shoulder then after that you can bring up that you have liked her all this time and want to be with her, I am sure she doesn't want to hear you say oh forget that guy ha ha, that's not a good idea, good luck, you sound so sweet... and just think if it was meant to be it will happen I truly believe this I have had it happen to me, also wait for it to happen it will if not just let it go and be her friend!:p

iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 10:36 AM
There is another thing that I want to say,
She looks like an easy girl, I heard her telling her friends, she wants Just fun and not marriage .
And also other thing, she listens to the music which I don't listen .
I listen to classic, she listens to rap .

Do you think I should listen to rap just for her , if we are together in car?

Justwantfair
Nov 21, 2008, 10:46 AM
No I definitely would not. Those are two very different ends of the music spectrum. Maybe this girl is not the one for you... what does "an easy girl" look like? It doesn't look/sound like she is on the same path as you. Did she make the comment recently because she is coming out of a relationship? Now she wants some time to just be single. Maybe you ought to rethink your crush and leave it as a crush.

iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 10:51 AM
She hangs around bad gang guys, and she is not shy to talk about sexy stuff like on their Facebook .
I want her anyway .

Do u think I should avoid playing Sad musics for her?

Justwantfair
Nov 21, 2008, 10:55 AM
I don't think that she is going to be on the same page as you. Don't change who you are, she will either like Classical or not. I don't think it is a good idea to pursue her, she sounds your polar opposite.

iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 11:45 AM
Man I don't care what she listens to , I want her .

Justwantfair
Nov 21, 2008, 11:54 AM
Than good luck.

iamjust23
Nov 21, 2008, 11:59 AM
Thanks