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Worker1
Nov 20, 2008, 05:08 AM
I have recently been worried about my relationship with my partner as I feel that she may now love me anymore. I am in my early 30s and have a beautiful 18 month old girl. Recently the love and intimacy has left our relationship, I tell her I love her but she says nothing and also when I try to communicate with her I do tend to get an aggressive response. I feel that I can do no right with her at the minute, the intimacy seems to have gone and I find it hard to get into her mind to see what she is thinking. I love her dearly but fear that one day she will be gone along with my daughter which would leave me destraught. Can you please help me with this

NallaNeedsYou
Nov 20, 2008, 05:23 AM
To save your relationship you must be patient and not rush anything. I think you should try and talk to her about it, see if there is something on her mind, she might be worried about the baby and whether the atmosphere in the house is the one she wants for her child. Cut out any lies no matter how small, you have to be honest to her and you need to think about what things you can improve in yourself. Maybe it is smoking? Your relationship is fragile and you need to appproach it positively and directly. Update your thread when you have spoken to her and figured out the problems. Good luck

roxypox
Nov 20, 2008, 05:24 AM
Maybe you guys should seek some help? To save the relationship if it needs saving? Have you told her about these feelings? (well seeing as she responds in an aggressive matter you probably don't get two words in), but I unedrstand your concern with you baby and all!!

Could there be something bothering her seeing as intimacy and love seems to have left the relationship?

I hope it works out!

Worker1
Nov 20, 2008, 06:38 AM
Thank you both for your honest answers they are much appreciated. My partner always seems to have something to do around the house(not to say that I don't do my bit) and I feel that if I ask her things too often then she will only get more annoyed. I am a big thinker, but wonder if I am just being paranoid or that we have an issue. Just believe in trusting my instincts

talaniman
Nov 20, 2008, 06:51 AM
Do more than your bit, help her with hers also. And give her a break sometimes, as babies take a lot of time, and attention. Its your child too, so don't hesitate to bond, and give mom some time to herself.

Women appreciate little things like that.

Worker1
Nov 20, 2008, 06:56 AM
I alwys make time for my daughter I drop her off in the mornings and pick her up in the evenings bath and give her, her milk every night, it is the first thing I do when I walk through the door at night. I am always there for my daughter and my partner and all I need to know is everything is OK. The issues do not come from our commitment to our daughter but from our closeness to each other. I do appreciate where you are coming from looking in from the outside though

talaniman
Nov 20, 2008, 08:04 AM
Great as I am, mind reading isn't a skill I have. Lol!

Don't panic though, as your feelings are fairly normal for young couples with their first child, especially if your use to getting all your partners attention.

My wife breast fed, and boy did I get jealous, crazy huh? Just keep doing what your doing, and don't worry about the appreciation part, as it will come later.

Not a time to develop insecurity issues, and need validation for the things your supposed to do any way.

But do make sure, by actions, that you appreciate the mother of your child. (you probably do, so stay with it.)

Its about giving every one time, to adjust to the changes in your life.

Worker1
Nov 20, 2008, 08:13 AM
Thank you for your help. It has helped me to feel better. I hope you understand where I was coming from and yes mind reading is always helpful in these kind of situations. I speak to other people who are in the same boat but you cannot help but wonder if everything is OK or will be OK