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View Full Version : To be or not to be


Und3c1d3d
Nov 20, 2008, 01:41 AM
I love my boyfriend to bits. We have the best times together, but lately we've been fighting a lot and we can't agree on anything. Afterwards we talk,we have sex and everything seems fine... And then it happens again. Its very frustrating because we live together, sometimes I want to leave and just start over somewhere else, and other times, I just want to enjoy the comfort. I'm not sure what to do

roxypox
Nov 20, 2008, 04:18 AM
Omg you just described my relationship... which I ended about 7 weeks ago... we didn't live together, but for a year we spend almost every night together... and all we did the last 4 months was fight, fight, fight, talk, make up, have sex, go to sleep and start the cycle all over again.

I like what you say about the comfort. That is what I liked the most. After the fight, after the talk, after the sex, I could just ly in his arms...

In my previous relationship, I lived with a guy for 5 years and I hassitated leaving because it was comfortable. I worked, he worked, we shared a bed, an apartment, we even stopped fighting, we just kept to separate rooms and we could still talk about stuff. But it was like living with my brother. We didn't even eat dinner or breakfast together anymore... but he paid the bills and or life was super organized... but was it worth it?

How about making a list? In your head, on a computer (which he has not acess to):
What works?
What doesn't?
What do you need?
What do you want?
And what of your needs and wants are present in your relationship?

Have you guys tried to resolve the fighting?

With boyf of 5 years we tried to fix the relationship for 8months... and then I needed to evacuate. (not that you need to try to fix things for that long) but it might be a good idea to sit down and look closer at your main issues. And then discuss it and see if there is a way to fix it.

Und3c1d3d
Nov 20, 2008, 05:58 AM
We just made up now. And I feel great and super confident about us again.. I wish the fighting would end, we have similar goals and evrything else just seems perfect.. But we argue over stupid things like chores and ex's.. I really want him in my life but I don't like being quiet when something bothers me.

roxypox
Nov 20, 2008, 06:02 AM
I'm glad you made up! :) well, its sad that the little things get in the way.

And I totally understand that you don't want to keep quiet wabout things that bother you!

talaniman
Nov 20, 2008, 06:59 AM
How old are you both? How long have you been in a relationship? How long have you been together?

I can tell you that if your not resolving your issues by working together, through honest, CALM, communications, they will keep creeping back.

What's up with this exes stuff?

Und3c1d3d
Nov 20, 2008, 09:33 AM
We're both 20... Been dating for 16months and living together for 10. I hate talking about my past and he wants to know everything, and why I'm not friends with my ex's because he's still friends with his ex's and even I love them. Its just that the guys I dated before him are the kind of guys he can't stand (bad influence guys... Drugs, alcohol and cigarettes)