I've been losing a lot of weight over the past slightly more than a year (over 60lbs) because anxiety made me that sick. To add insult and irony to the situation, I've got certain people telling me on a daily basis or more that I look fantastic, even though I feel the most miserable I have ever felt in my life.

These people get very offended when I don't seem flattered that they noticed my weight loss.
On the other hand, I'm incredibly insulted that they think I look fantastic when I think I look dead. I've covered up my bathroom mirror because I hate what I see in it that much.

I'm about ready to kill these people the next time they mention my size, but I don't think that's the best way to handle the situation. So! How do I respond to their "compliments" without involving the use of bludgeoning objects?

This is an interesting question.

While you're obviously hurting, I think part of what needs to happen is that you consider their intention first. I imagine that the compliments are only meant to make you feel better, not worse. That should count for something.

I think that weight loss often receives such a high source of pride and accomplishment from most people in north america that many people really don't stop to consider the idea that it would not be desirable.

I doubt that any of these people has considered that your illness has caused this dramatic change. While your anxiety might be very obvious to you, it might not be so obvious to everyone else.

If you care to share the reason for your weight loss with these people, you might want to say something like, "i wish i could say that this is something that i've wanted for myself; unfortunately, i've been losing weight because i've been sick."

They might ask more questions after hearing something like that. What you decide to tell them is up to you, but I would keep the tone neutral. When someone finds out that a person has been losing weight because of cancer treatments, for example, they try to be encouraging to help them put any necessary weight back on. If you're sharing your story with them, I'm sure you will also get the kind of support you need.

It sounds like you've been suffering tremendously. I sincerely hope that you have been seeking help from a medical professional who can help you to get back to your old self again. There's no reason for you to suffer all alone. I wish you well!

I think honesty is the best policy.

I would just say "thank you for the compliment but honestly I prefer not to talk about my weight" or if you are OK with being more open, tell them. I haven't lost weight for the reasons you might think I have, so even though it might seem like a milestone, it's actually come about from worry and axiety"

Be honest with people - tell them you are in an incredibly difficult place in your life and that you are unable to eat. Your acquaintances will (hopefully) learn a lesson and leave you alone. Those who care about you will offer their support during your difficult time - which is what you really need.

I know it's not easy but really people are just trying to be nice. Unfortunately this is what society has told us is acceptable. Losing weight normally signifies an attempt in someone to become more healthy and appreciate their body more.

I only say this because it may help to keep things in perspective, although I know you probably know all of this. :)

I totally agree that it's best to accept the intentions more than the method of delivery. For most of us, losing weight is a major ordeal and a huge accomplishment, and these people have made an innocent mistake in thinking that it was intentional. They clearly don't think you look "dead" and you may be far more harsh on yourself and your appearance, illness and all, than they are, so take the compliment and let yourself accept that if people are telling you that you look good, you do look good. You don't feel good, but that's different.

If the people are just casual acquaintances or coworkers, I'd simply say "thank you". If they bring it up too much, just say, "You're so kind but I'm not comfortable talking about my weight - would you mind not mentioning it moving forward?" And if it's someone close, you might say, "Oh, thanks, but you know - it's not intentional. I've been having such issues with anxiety, I'm not able to eat, so it's not such a happy thing, really."

I have had problems with both anxiety and depression and I found one way I could better deal with my anxiety was to moderate my response to what other people did, and one big way was to accept their intentions instead of their exact actions. People say a lot of really stupid crap. Like when I lost a pregnancy, people kept telling me that it was probably Gods way of working because something was wrong with the baby. I didn't want to hear that something was wrong with my baby, of that God thought this was a great way to handle it - that sounded stupid to me. It was just a loss, and it was sad, and it was right for me to feel sad about it. But the people were trying to give me perspective as they knew how sad I was, and wanted me to rally and feel better - not for them, but for me. That meant they cared. So, I took the care, and laughed about the stupidity of the philosophy to myself.

People are just trying, you know. Givce them a break and you might find that it helps you, too.

In my opinion - you have good friends. Accept the compliment gracefully.

I was recently told a philosophy that I think you could appy to your situation...

Never let someone know they've hurt your feelings - if the intention was to hurt your feelings, then they will get satisfaction from it. If that was not they intention, then you will both end up feeling bad.

I like don'tknownuthin's response.

Just say 'thank you', and presume it was well intended. I would not invite further discussion by mentioning the cause. You don't owe anybody an explanation.

One other thing. You don't know that all the comments are not meant to get information. By complimenting you on your weight loss, what they are really trying to find out, is what caused it.

I would keep it to myself with a simple thank you. If said enough times, eventually the queries will stop.