My boyfriend has been smoking cigarettes for 16 years. I knew he was a smoker when we began dating, but he always told me he was going to stop in November of 2008 when he finishes his masters degree. Well, I told him why I was uncomfortable with his smoking in a matter of fact way. My mother died of cancer when I was 4 years old, I have a MAJOR cancer phobia. He is 13 years older than I am and it makes me uncomfortable to know he is going to die way before me, and smoking just increases that gap. I saw what my father went through without my mother and I don't want that. I try to avoid nagging him, but I made it apparent that I'm only going to be around for so long if he continues to smoke cigarettes. I know this sounds crazy, but I am scared of losing him to cancer.. I really would rather lose him now while I have my youth. I always wonder if I'll be OK with it when I am pregnant and am not able to smoke. I am the kind of person that wants to do what I'm not allowed to do and it will piss me off that he's smoking and I can't when I am in such a poor state. O
My question is, now that November is here and he still smokes, should I mention it? Should I just leave him? He kept saying he was going to try to quit months ago and nothing would ever come of it. I'd act like he never said anything to prevent him from thinking I was nagging and let him do it on his own time. I was thinking about giving him until new years... then leaving. I don't want to nag, so I want to just end it quickly after telling him that I let him know how I felt about it and why and now it's over. I love him very much, please give me advice. Would it be naggy if I mentioned it before them? I don't want to give him an ultimatum, but should I do that?

[QUOTE=limesandoranges;1380945] I always wonder if I'll be OK with it when I am pregnant and am not able to smoke. I am the kind of person that wants to do what I'm not allowed to do and it will piss me off that he's smoking and I can't when I am in such a poor state. QUOTE]

Wait a minute... do you smoke too? Why would he quit when you smoke as well?

No, I don't smoke... but if he smokes when I'm pregnant and I'm not allowed to for the sake of the baby I will want to. We are starting to talk about our family so that was on my mind.

Smoking is an addiction. It is hard for people just to up and quit for someone else. They have to want to quit for themselves. I am not sure what you can do about it. I have seen many people go cold turkey once they have a kid, but who knows if that will happen or not.

Yea, I was hoping he'd quit for himself. He always said he was excited about quitting in November before I said it bothered me. He wanted to do it. I told him I was not going to be able to feel OK about it forever and November was a long way away, and that's when he started telling me he was quitting. I had never even mentioned it before then, it was all him. I am pretty sure he is lying to me about having even tried, it's just how he says it that doesn't seem right.. I know how he speaks when he's lying. I don't want to be that annoying nagging girlfriend so I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him, I wish he'd stop.