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View Full Version : He let me go and now he wants me back


Paqui
Nov 18, 2008, 02:55 AM
I have been dating this guy for almost 10 months, we have a great relatinship, and love each other very much. I am not from the US, but I was living in the US when we met. One month ago, I had to go back to my country to avoid being illegal in the US, but ironically, when I tried to get back in the US, I couldn't due to a problem with my visa, so now we are having this long distance relationship and Im still trying to fix my visa problem to get in, but its being very hard to be away from each other, even though we talk and chat everyday.
Before I left, we used to talk about getting married and we made a lot of plans, we both knew that If we got married, maybe I could have stayed there and It wouldn't have been necessary to go back to my country, but I didn't want to ask him to marry me, cause he might have thought I was only using him... he told me once he was afraid I was just trying to get my visa and would leave him after having it. That's NOT TRUE, I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART and I had to leave because I didn't want him to think I was using him. But now I am in a position where I cannot get back and people tell me he acted selfish and didn't try to protect me. We were sure we were going to get married when the time was right, but I told him nothing about it before I left, cause I just didn't want him to think I was using him, and I thought that maybe he would ask me to marry him before I left since we both knew there was a big chance I could not get back in. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, even though I won't be able to come back. Now he keeps telling me that when I get back, we should marry (too late?). I still do love him, but people keeps telling I should end the relationship, since he didn't have the courage to prevent this to happen by asking me to stay, they tell me he doesn't really love me cause he let me go without trying to protect me. Im still trying to get back in, but I don't know if it is worth it, since maybe he doesn't love me enough and Im just working too hard for nothing. Could you please help me understand that?

Justwantfair
Nov 18, 2008, 09:36 AM
It's an unfortunate situation but I think your boyfriend does love you, but you both know that if he married you under those pretenses he wouldn't have known whether it was real, it would have been an obligation. Although you are hurt that he didn't "step up" before you returned to your country, you proved you were in it just because of him, not the USA. I think it is unfortunate that you love him so much but you are questioning him not marrying you by obligation. He made the choice that was best for the both of you at the time and now he probably regrets it more than anything, but I don't think it meant that he did not love you.