PDA

View Full Version : On and off again. What to do


myheart0345
Nov 17, 2008, 08:23 PM
Me and my boyfriend have been off and on again but we have been together for 2 years. We still talk everyday and see each other when we have the same days off. Which is hard because he works 2 jobs now. We still do everything as a boyfriend and girlfriend. But lately if we fight or anything bad comes up that's when he likes to remind me that we aren't together. We both don't date other people. I don't need the whole "boyfriend girlfriend" title to be able to be happy and spend time with someone. That's why I stick around and spend time with him. The reason he broke up with me is because he said he just didn't want to do it anymore. I was being really insecure and jealous so that was probably the reason why he didn't feel like doing it anymore (ive been trying to work on those things for some time now) So I guess my question is Am I fooling myself? Because right now we fought about who knows what and he started saying "this is why i dont want to be in a relationship" I think we fought about the next time we were going to see each other. Is there no way it could work out? Does he just need time to work out his own feelings? Also if I start no contact what will make it easier? Because if we don't talk ill always be wondering what he's doing on his days off or even with the holidays coming up. I want it to work but I don't know what else to do. Please help.

neverme
Nov 17, 2008, 08:38 PM
Myheart0345,

First, Is this your first relationship?

Well here you go, hope it helps... you have been more than flexible with this relationship, to the point of destruction I would think. This is a man that is very manipulative and has seen you as an easy target I think at times to take out his good or bad moods on. This is not fair on you. You know this, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question. If you could bring yourself to believe in yourself a fraction of the amount of the belief you have in this relationship you would be just fine.

Try to stand on your own two feet and be yourself.

Also, if this relationship is supposed to be it will be.

myheart0345
Nov 17, 2008, 09:50 PM
Well I'm 25 and he's 26 I've dated but this is the first relationship I have ever taken seriously. But I get what you are saying. I think its time for me to care about me. Instead of putting him first. I wanted it to work but I guess its not going to. I don't think he's manipulating me but I do tihink he's being selfish. Thanks for your opinion... tomorrow will be day one of no contact hopefully it goes by fast hehe

neverme
Nov 17, 2008, 09:55 PM
Best of Luck :D

talaniman
Nov 18, 2008, 11:44 PM
You need a lot more time to heal! Give yourself that chance.