My son and his girl friend lived together for eight years they had two children. The woman is abusive she stab him once in each shoulder she all so uses cable TV coax to hit the children with she was reported for this . She has been reported three times to CPS two of the three were founded. They are no longer together they a had fight she went to the police and she had an order of protection. In order to see the children she made him pick them at her house and than she reported him for coming to the house in violation of the order. Now she a five year order of protection and she won't let him see the children or make arrangements for him to see them. We as the grandparents are also being dined the right to see them because she feels we reported her the last time. We go to the house an average of three times a week to try and see the children and she won't answer the door and she is home
My son has agreed to give up his custody rights of the children to us and we are taking her to court to get full custody this way my so can see his children any time. He married and has one step child and they just had a baby Can we get full custody we have a very good income. Can we get custody

my son and his girl friend lived together for eight years they had two children. The woman is abusive she stab him once in each shoulder she all so uses cable TV coax to hit the children with she was reported for this . She has been reported three times to CPS two of the three were founded. They are no longer together they a had fight she went to the police and she had an order of protection. In order to see the children she made him pick them at her house and than she reported him for coming to the house in violation of the order. Now she a five year order of protection and she won't let him see the children or make arrangements for him to see them. We as the grandparents are also being dined the right to see them because she feels we reported her the last time. We go to the house an average of three times a week to try and see the children and she won't answer the door and she is home
My son has agreed to give up his custody rights of the children to us and we are taking her to court to get full custody this way my so can see his children any time. he married and has one step child and they just had a baby Can we get full custody we have a very good income. can we get custody



Your son can't "assign" his custody rights to you. A lot depends on the State you are in.

Your Attorney, who would be far more familiar with the situation, is the person to give the best advice. Income has something to do with custody, of course, but the larger issue will be the physical and mental wellbeing of the children and that's for the Court to decide.

Your son can't "assign" his custody rights to you. A lot depends on the State you are in.

Your Attorney, who would be far more familiar with the situation, is the person to give the best advice. Income has something to do with custody, of course, but the larger issue will be the physical and mental wellbeing of the children and that's for the Court to decide.

Well guess what the Judge except my sons right to give me custody of the children to me.
I did not ask to be anything for me with judging by your answer I would not ask you be my janitor

Would you go on line for information and then perform surgery on yourself? If not, don't go on line and prepare your own divorce papers.

You can tell what is in a man’s soul by the way he treats his dog.(what does this have to with my question)

If you need a binding legal opinion you must contact an Attorney in your area. I am not your legal advisor

well guess what the Judge except my sons right to give me custody of the children to me.
I did not ask to be anything for me with judging by your answer I would not ask you be my janitor

Would you go on line for information and then perform surgery on yourself? If not, don't go on line and prepare your own divorce papers.

You can tell what is in a man’s soul by the way he treats his dog.(what does this have to with my question)

If you need a binding legal opinion you must contact an Attorney in your area. I am not your legal advisor



You posted the question, had the hearing and got the answer today? As I said - it varies from State to State. What State are you in?

Other than that you're reading my SIGNATURE LINE which appears on all my posts - not just those addressing your questions.

Otherwise your attitude says volumes about you and your character.

You posted the question, had the hearing and got the answer today? As I said - it varies from State to State. What State are you in?

Other than that you're reading my SIGNATURE LINE which appears on all my posts - not just those addressing your questions.

Otherwise your attitude says volumes about you and your character.

Stop with the insults it severs no purpose I am in New York state we did not have a full blown hearing that is in December

stop with the insults it severs no purpose I am in new york state we did not have a full blown hearing that is in December



Excuse me? You wouldn't hire me to be your janitor and you think you're being insulted?

Excuse me? You wouldn't hire me to be your janitor and you think you're being insulted?

OK OK I apologize let's start a new I was going by the coments that I thought were direct to me

Ok today was the first hearing my wife and myself are taking my son and his ex girl friend to court and asking custody for custody of the children My son is not going to challenge us in fact he is 100 % in favor because of the problem with his x he can't go near her for five years so in essence he can't see the children and neither can we. She won't answer the door when we go to ask to see the kids or to ask if they can spend the weekend at our house so there dad can see them. It has been relayed to us that she has stated that she will never let us see the children again
Reread my first and you see that I ponted out that she is a violent person. She let her daughters b/f to live with them (sixteen at the time) and sleep in the same bed and she is now seventeen and has new born baby. There are eight people living in three bedroom house

Ok, No your son can not just give you custody, it does not work like that.

You can file for custody by proving both son and the children's mothers are not fit, and/or the son can waive his right to fight your request for custody. But the son would have a lot easier time in getting custoy hisself.

She does not have to let you see the kids, and your son should have went to court to get a court order for her to provide the kids to someone else to transport for visits or to exchange in a safe location, police station, fire house, etc.

In the end, you may have to get CPS to just take the kids first and then file in court for custody of them from CPS.

First, let me say you really should learn something about how sites like this work before you jump in. for example, you should learn the difference between a signature line which is added to each post and the actual response.

Your attack on Judy's answer was way misplaced.

That being said, I think you need to sit down with your attorney and have him explain what the exact process you need to go through. I suspect that what is happening is that the court is granting you GUARDIANSHIP rather than CUSTODY. While the two are similar, they are not the same. Guardianship is temporary legal responsibility for a child. It may last until a child reaches their majority or it may be transferred to someone else before that. Custody is having the same rights and responsibilities of the legal parent.

From what I know of the law, for you to can full legal custody or even joint legal custody of the children would be to adopt them. And that may be what your attorney is doing. Your son could then relinquish his rights, but the mother would also have to relinquish her's or have them terminated as
Being unfit.

I agree with Chuck, the best tactic here would be for your son to try and get full LEGAL custody. The problem here is that the situation has been clouded by the restraining order. Your son needs to show the previous incidents of violence and how he was duped into violating the temporary RO.

If you apply for guardianship, adoption or whatever your attorney is applying for, then you can't bring your son's mistakes into it. Your only recourse is to display the mother as unfit by her previous violent record and bad decisions (letting the boyfriend sleep with the daughter).

You don't mention whether you have an attorney or not. But you REALLY need one. There are complex issues here and you have to make sure all your legal Is are dotted and Ts crossed. Otherwise you may find yourself on the losing end even though it appears that this woman is an unfit mother.

Also your soncould fight for custody and even if they only gave him part time he wouldn't have to pick the kids up from her house butfrom a nuetral place or even the police station. And I don't believe it was fair either to attatck judy as you did. She puts in countless hours as many of us do free of charge. SOmetimes you might notget the answers you want but that doesn't mean they are wrong.

Ok, No your son can not just give you custody, it does not work like that.

You can file for custody by proving both son and the childrens mothers are not fit, and/or the son can waive his right to fight your request for custody. But the son would have alot easier time in getting custoy hisself.

She does not have to let you see the kids, and your son should have went to court to get a court order for her to provide the kids to someone else to transport for visits or to exchange in a safe location, police station, fire house, ect.

In the end, you may have to get CPS to just take the kids first and then file in court for custody of them from CPS.

Your wrong she has to let us see the children grand parents have rights too it has been done before the grandparents go to court and the courts gives them there rights. My son left because of the violence she stab him each shoulder. My son met and married a nice girl and they two kids one hers from before and they have new born he does not make enough money to support four children. Please check the laws some of your advice is incorrect

Your wrong she has to let us see the children grand parents have rights too it has been done before the grandparents go to court and the courts gives them there rights. My son left because of the violence she stab him each shoulder. My son met and married a nice girl and they two kids one hers from before and they have new born he does not make enough money to support four children. Please check the laws some of your advice is incorrect

The advice is not incorrect. In order for grandparents to have rights they have to go to court first to get visitation ordered by the judge. Have you done that yet? If you have then you have your scheduled visitation according to your order if you haven't then no, she does not have to let you see them. I live in a state where grandparents have rights but they aren't automatic they have to come from a court order (how all states with grandparent rights do).

I'm sorry, but its you who need to check the laws. You come here looking for advice from people with knowledge and experience in these situations, let you have argued against the advice you have been given which has been correct.

While its true that some states do provide grandparents rights to visit their grandchildren, those rights are neither automatic nor open ended. Since your son was never married to the mother, those rights may be severely curtailed.

Also, until you get an order from a court that states the mother has to provide you time with the children, then she does not have to let you see them. That's what Chuck was saying.

You haven't answered whether you have an attorney as yet.

I'm sorry, but its you who need to check the laws. You come here looking for advice from people with knowledge and experience in these situations, let you have argued against the advice you have been given which has been correct.

While its true that some states do provide grandparents rights to visit their grandchildren, those rights are neither automatic nor open ended. Since your son was never married to the mother, those rights may be severely curtailed.

Also, until you get an order from a court that states the mother has to provide you time with the children, then she does not have to let you see them. That's what Chuck was saying.

You haven't answered whether you have an attorney as yet.

I see you state you're a computer expert. What is your knowledge of the law did you study to be a lawyer/ You are correct in stating that she does not have to let me see them. I how ever make life difficult for her. She use TV cable coax when the kids act of up I will stay on her like white on rice. We can provide a better life for the children( Boy and a girl) if left with the mother the girl will be like her half sister who was pregnant at six because mom let her boy live in the house and in the same bed

I'm sorry, but its you who need to check the laws. You come here looking for advice from people with knowledge and experience in these situations, let you have argued against the advice you have been given which has been correct.

While its true that some states do provide grandparents rights to visit their grandchildren, those rights are neither automatic nor open ended. Since your son was never married to the mother, those rights may be severely curtailed.

Also, until you get an order from a court that states the mother has to provide you time with the children, then she does not have to let you see them. That's what Chuck was saying.

You haven't answered whether you have an attorney as yet.

Yes I do have a lawyer

If she was pregnant at six she really needs to see a doctor and be evaluated!! Six year olds don't ovulate therefore can't get pregnant so if she was able to get pregnant at six she really needs to have regular exams by her doctor to make sure she matures as normally as possible. There should also be a news release so parents can have their pre-pubescent children checked out to make sure they are maturing at a healthy rate. Then as we have all said get a court order for visitation. If you just become a pain in her side she can get charges brought against you for harassment. Like I and others have said grandparent rights have to be granted by the court!

yes I do have a lawyer



Then why aren't you talking to him or her about this?

NOTE: HERE IS WHERE MY SIGNATURE BEGINS AND MY MESSAGE TO YOU ENDS.

I see you state your a computer expert. What is your knowledge of the law did you study to be a lawyer/ You are correct in stating that she does not have to let me see them. I how ever make life difficult for her. She use TV cable coax when the kids act of up I will stay on her like white on rice. We can provide a better life for the children( Boy and a girl) if left with the mother the girl will be like her half sister who was pregnant at six because mom let her boy live in the house and in the same bed

You aren't getting this. We are trying to help you and you continue to disagree with us and this us. Whatever my background in the law, I don't answer questions I'm not sure I know the answer to. That doesn't mean I'm never wrong, but my track record is very, very good.

If you can find any specific statute that refutes what I have said, feel free to produce it. And repeating yourself doesn't change things either. We have already said that this mother sounds unfit based on what you have said. But you need to prove it. And the best person to bring this to court is your son, the father of the children.

You aren't getting this. We are trying to help you and you continue to disagree with us and dis us. Whatever my background in the law, I don't answer questions I'm not sure I know the answer to. That doesn't mean I'm never wrong, but my track record is very, very good.

If you can find any specific statute that refutes what I have said, feel free to produce it. And repeating yourself doesn't change things either. We have already said that this mother sounds unfit based on what you have said. But you need to prove it. And the best person to bring this to court is your son, the father of the children.

Listen I am not refuting what you have said. I was fun making of what you said because of that fact that left off the teen part on sixteen. My son is in fact is on our side and will do what he has to do with regards to the kids. Do you how I can get copies of the CPS reports of the ones that were founded

listen I am not refuting what you have said. I was fun making of what you said because of that fact that left off the teen part on sixteen. My son is in fact is on our side and will do what he has to do with regards to the kids. Do you how I can get copies of the CPS reports of the ones that were founded

I am in New York state

I see you state your a computer expert. What is your knowledge of the law did you study to be a lawyer/ You are correct in stating that she does not have to let me see them. I how ever make life difficult for her. She use TV cable coax when the kids act of up I will stay on her like white on rice. We can provide a better life for the children( Boy and a girl) if left with the mother the girl will be like her half sister who was pregnant at six because mom let her boy live in the house and in the same bed

We may not be lawyers but we can study and give opinion on laws that are on the books and speak from knowlage and experiences we have gathered as a group.

Read it for yourself :
grandparent visitation rights new york and the const. New York Divorce and Family Law, the definitive site about divorce, child support and custody.. New York Divorce and Family Law, the definitive site about divorce, child support and custody. (http://www.brandeslaw.com/grandparent_and_nonparent_visit/grandparent_visitation_rights.htm)

JudyKaytee, ScottGem, Stinawords and many many others have done their best to answer your questions and it seems all you want to do is argue credentials. So I posted a link for you to look at yourself. Understand that your " RIGHTS " as grandparents is limited in te Great State of New York. It's that simple. So your best way to proceed is to get your son to become responsible for his own doings. If he wants to see his children the " he " is the one that needs to do it and not you for him. If he can't afford 4 children in his life then he shouldn't have been with a fertile woman and knowingly caus her to have a child. Its time for YOUR child to start taking responsibility for his own life and stop wiping up after his mistakes. I know you miss your grandchildren and its very hard to be on the outside but the real truth is " he " ( your son ) is the one causing this mess. Make him responsible or get over it.

listen I am not refuting what you have said. I was fun making of what you said because of that fact that left off the teen part on sixteen. My son is in fact is on our side and will do what he has to do with regards to the kids. Do you how I can get copies of the CPS reports of the ones that were founded


You are - in theory - paying an Attorney and your attempts to go around him/her are only going to hurt you and make you look obsessive and interfering and emphasize your argumentative nature and absolutely lack of understanding of the law and this particular situation.

LET YOUR ATTORNEY DO HIS/HER JOB, UNIMPEDED!

Advice stops here and signature begins.

First, you have tried to refute what I've said or at least question it. Second, One responder read only yout typo and made a mistake in not reviewing other posts. But that was no reason attack him on it. That attack was removed because it violated the rules of this site.

The link califdad gave contains a lot of good information. But one thing leapt out at me. That was the point that natural parents will take precedence unless there is a fitness issue. That means that trying to terminate your son's rights even though he may agree, is going to cause issues with your petition and could result in it being dismissed.

If he applies for custody and can prove her unfit he stands a better chance of winning. Once he gets custody, he can then have you appointed as guardians.

But your focus should be on proving the mother unfit. Your son (not you) or his attorney can contact the local CPS office to get the records from previous incidents.

I think you should listen to the advice you're heard because everyone here is trying to be helpful. And if you have a lawyer already one has to wonder why you are here in the first place.

Anyway, family law can vary quite a bit from state to state, both procedurally and substantively (although there is a good deal of similarity across the country) and some people on the board are more familiar with local practice than others. I practice in California so if a person asking a question here is in California I'm quick to jump right in. As to other states I'm a bit more careful about what I say and offer a general summary of how we do things here as an example of what might occur elsewhere and I tend to leave it at that. Others often chime in with more specific info on local practice and they're the ones to listen to. And, frankly, if you are in New York, Judy is the one to be listening to. Just a word to the wise.

I think you should listen to the advice you're heard because everyone here is trying to be helpful. And if you have a lawyer already one has to wonder why you are here in the first place.

Anyway, family law can vary quite a bit from state to state, both procedurally and substantively (although there is a good deal of similarity across the country) and some people on the board are more familar with local practice than others. I practice in California so if a person asking a question here is in California I'm quick to jump right in. As to other states I'm a bit more careful about what I say and offer a general summary of how we do things here as an example of what might occur elsewhere and I tend to leave it at that. Others often chime in with more specific info on local practice and they're the ones to listen to. And, frankly, if you are in New York, Judy is the one to be listening to. Just a word to the wise.

Thank I just wanted make sure was not dealing people who were just guessing thank you

thank I just wanted make sure was not dealing people who were just guessing thank you

We take a lot of pride in the accuracy of our advice here. People who just guess at answers are quickly corrected and generally don't last long.

We take a lot of pride in the accuracy of our advice here. People who just guess at answers are quickly corrected and generally don't last long.

I have seen the light. From what you are telling me shouldn't the Judge have dismissed this case at the first meeting. Should we drop our petion and have my son refile for custody. I am concerned for my grandchildren safety please advise

No I don't see them dismissing, but, by you petitioning for custody, you tie the judges hands more. I would have your son refile. What does your attorney say about this?

No I don't see them dismissing, but, by you petitioning for custody, you tie the judges hands more. I would have your son refile. what does your attorney say about this?

I have an appointment with him Wednesday of next week. My son and his x both are going handled threw the public defenders office
Please explain how I am tying the judges hands Is the reports at CPS public information
thank you I am begaining to better understand

Please explain how I am tying the judges hands Is the reports at CPS public information
thank you I am begaining to better understand

I thought we had explained this. Family courts want to defer to the natural parents. The law tells them to lean that way. So by trying to get custody for yourselves, you make it harder for the judge. Having your son petititon for custody gives the judge more reason to grant him custody.

I thought we had explained this. Family courts want to defer to the natural parents. The law tells them to lean that way. So by trying to get custody for yourselves, you make it harder for the judge. Having your son petititon for custody gives the judge more reason to grant him custody.

I give up i ask questions and only get some of them answered i had asked if cps. Records where public and all you addressed was my question about how i was tying the judges hands. While you have helped and a degree confused me even more have nice night day day and everything in between

Huh? You need to review your own posts before you start making false accusations. In post # 19 you asked; "Do you how I can get copies of the CPS reports of the ones that were founded". In post #23 I responded to question with the statement; "Your son (not you) or his attorney can contact the local CPS office to get the records from previous incidents."
In your last post (# 31) you quote my post #30 which was a response to your post #29. In #29 you stated you were seeing your atty on Wednesday and asked how you were tying the judges hands, which was a reference to my post #28. In post #30 I responded to that question.
But in post #31 you criticize by saying only some of your questions are answered. You specifically state that you asked if CPS records were public (which wasn't what you actually asked) and that I answered only the question about tying hands.
If you have been confused its only because you can't keep track of what you asked and what we responded to. We have, in fact tried very hard to help you, doing some research for you and answering what you asked.
But I'm done now. Depsite our efforts to help you, all you have done is question, criticize and insult. I'm not going to wate anymore of my time on you.

I give up i ask questions and only get some of them answered I HAD ASKED IF CPS. RECORDS WHERE PUBLIC AND ALL YOU ADDRESSED WAS MY QUESTION ABOUT HOW I WAS TYING THE JUDGES HANDS. WHILE YOU HAVE HELPED AND A DEGREE CONFUSED ME EVEN MORE HAVE NICE NIGHT DAY DAY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN


You shouted so I'm shouting back: YOU HAVE AN ATTORNEY. STOP INTERFERRING AND MEDDLING AND MAKING YOURSELF LOOK FOOLISH. LET THE ATTORNEY HANDLE THIS. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE PAYING FOR.

Time to close this thread before OP's head explodes!

Thread closed since the OP doesn't seem to really want help