Hey I'm 15, I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago my mum also found out, my boyfriend cryed he hasn't looked at me the same since, my mum made me have an abortion it was the most terrifying thing I have ever been through. My experience was so horrific I'm still crying thinking about it I regret it I wish I had kept the kid it would have wrecked any career dreams I had but I don't care I feel so guilty I feel like a murderer. My mum kicked me out for a bit but needed me to come back or shed look like a bad mum herself. I asked my boyfriend if he regretted it he said no it made me cry because it was half his responsibility he left me the whole time I knew I was pregnant he said you know more about it than me I cryed. I was the one who was throwing up and hormonal and getting big he didn't care. I hate my mum and rite now my boyfriend, I need an escape someone to tell how I feel and not get told but its over now because the nightmares haven't. Niether has the ridicule I get from the school I go to everyone calls me an emo and says I slit my wrists I feel so alone its like I'm isolated and dispised by everyone I'm not an emo I'm an normal person and I have slit my wrists once because I found out I was pregnant and couldn't bare anything else. I'm not an emo I'm despreate for someone anyone to talk to because the guilt is building even the mention of a child makes me burst into tears
Help

See if you can talk to a school counselor or if they can provide someone for you to talk to.

Of course legally your mom could not have made you, but that is over. Now you have to heal, You can not take away the past. So at this point learn from your mistake.

You have learned that your boy friend really did not care for you, if he had, he would have been there with you.

You learned he was not old enough to be mature about this.

And you learned you were not ready to have a baby.

But I love him that's kind of the difficult point

Loving somebody complicates all sorts of things. Your situation makes everything difficult. Things have a way of working themselves out. There will be people along the way who will stand by you. If no one else I'm here, I'm sure a world away. Other people aren't necessarily what matter. You matter. You have to be strong, have to hold out. Life isn't a parade, it isn't fun but to get by you have to show others you can stand up for you. I'm sorry you had to give up your baby, but I'm sure you will have one someday. That's what's important fighting for the future and being the best you can be. Ignore everybody else they aren't reallly that important to your successes in life anyway. Hurting you isn't going to help because you're already hurting on the inside why should you be hurting on the outside too. Good luck.

skater girl I'm so sorry!

It is a very natural reaction to be sad though! I've heard that it is natural to either get an emediate response to an abortion or to get one later in life. Did the people at the place you went to talk to you about this?

I have a close friend who tok an abortion in June and she is struggeling as well. (shes older than you though, she's 27) and was stuck with a bad relationship that was almost non existing.

The whole boyf thing can be difficult in a situation like this. After all he is just 15. You are both very very young and you're in school and I'm guessing that both of you have plans and dreams and that a baby at this time really wasn't a part of those plans and dreams...

Are you still together?

Yea we are... just... we were fighting for a while before my mum found out because I knew we needed to do something but he didn't want to talk about it I wanted it to go away too but I knew it wouldn't I asked him why he didn't want to know and he said he was trying to cope with it but it was difficult we had a fight about it because I felt alone almost as much as I do now. I wish none of it had happened, I wish my mum would stop glaring at me and I wish everyone at my school would stop talking about me I knew I couldn't look after the baby but I didn't want to kill it

Again, if you mom forced you to do a abortion, you did not kill anything or anyone,

Next you did at this point in your life what you had or was forced to do.

Now is the time to learn and slowly move on. A lot of women, grown women, have emotional issues after an abortion. Plus if your boyfriend is not being there for you, it only makes you feel so very alone. I will be blunt, there is no fast or quick fix, it will take time and I can not stress how important it is to find and get some counseling to help you though this.

I knew a girl who had an abortion and I know it was the best thing she ever did.

I knew another who had two of them.

Both had no regrets.

I know that there are others, like you, who will agonize over what has happened.

In this case:

You were forced to have an abortion - so learn to put that aside and resume a good relationship with your parents.

You were definitely too young and too young for kids having kids. Remember that any form of birth contol is not 100% effective and you suffered one possible consequence.

Learn from your mistakes. That's the best you can do.

Like KITSS wrote I too know a girl who had an abortion when she was a year older than you. And now she's 23 and has a bachelor degree and she has no regrets. She and her mom talked about it when it happened and my friend felt she was too young to become a mom and today she has no regrets, it is natural that you are moved emotionally by it though. It's a pretty big thing for people to experience.

As for you being a killer, I don't think you should see it that way, I know that there are a lot of conflicting views on abortion and to a certain extent everyone has a right to their own opinions. BUT it doesn't change the fact that you are still very young and I'm sure your mom made this decision on your behalf because she loves you a lot and she cares for your well being.

I'm sad to hear that things are tough with your boyfriend, and I hope the two of you can move beyond this and feel better. And its also sad that you feel alone in this situation. Are there anyone else you can talk to in person that can be of help? Like a counselor etc. Or could you talk more in depth about it with your mom?

I hope this forum helps you some though. Personally I'm a big fan of talking about things that are hard! :) sometimes it really helps you to see things clearer and to find solutions for your problems :)

i wish everyone at my school would stop talking about me

By the way are there a lot of people who know about it? Seeing as people talk at school. I hope the talk will die down soon! It must be pretty rough to deal with your mom, your boyfriend, the abortion and the gossip!

People can be so mean and thoughtless sometimes. I know a girl who was going to have a baby a couple of years ago, she had one week left to go and she was at her final checkup before the birth and everything was fine. Then she went into labor and it turned out that the baby had died during that last week and she had to give birth to a still born and the things people said and the way they treated her afterwards was HORRIBLE! People blamed her for the death of the baby, where ever she went she had to take crap from people who called her a baby killer and they blamed her for the situation. Which I find so horrible and disgusting b\c they should have let her be, and to have sympathy with her instead of making her pain worse... sorry... OT... I just remembered this when I saw that people were talking about you.

I hope your problems resolve and that you are able to keep your head high and ignore the talk and the people doing the talking! :)