Just as I was getting settled into a nice routine here with my new 6 week old baby, my 4 and 6 year old, my husband, and my parents (who are staying here with us until the end of September), and just as my back was starting to get better...

Tonight my sister-in-law, Debbie, who lives in another province, paid us a totally surprise visit with her 3 kids. She's divorced and has been going through some difficulties lately. When she arrived, we all decided to go out for a late dinner, as the kids hadn't been fed yet and we figured it would be less work. Halfway through dinner, Debbie said she felt poorly and that she'd like to go lay down. So, we gave her the spare keys to the house and said we'd meet her there later. When we get home, there is a note from her. "I'm so sorry, but I can't handle the children right now, can you please take them for a while?" We searched the house, but she and her suitcase were both gone. So, she basically dumped her kids with us and left!! :eek: I guess this is officially Brady Bunch Central now, with 6 kids under 10!

I am really really angry about this. First of all, her children are upset and confused... she neglected to mention anything about this to them. Secondly of course, she didn't ask us if the kids could stay here. But now we are feeling sorry for the kids, not to mention feeling obligated to care for them. This isn't their fault, and I don't want them to feel like we resent them.

Debbie's ex-husband is out of the country, and hasn't seen his children for about 2 years. We are trying to contact him but I doubt that will do any good. I have no idea how long "a while" is to my sister-in-law, either. A week? A month? :eek: I feel like I'm going insane!! There's no other place for the children to go, other than their grandparents who live in BC, and there's no way I'm going to put them on a plane right after their mother flies here and basically abandons them. That would be too traumatic.

My husband is training to be a psychiatrist, and my father IS a psychiatrist, so of course they both have their theories about Debbie right now. But I DON'T CARE!! I'm the one who now has 6 little kids to deal with, 3 of which are sad and scared and crying for Mommy. UGH! If Debbie plans on coming back in the next few days she's better steer clear of me!! GRRR! :mad:

Anyway LOL sorry I just had to vent. I'm not sure there's anything anyone can advise us on with this one, I guess we just have to make due until we find Debbie's ex or Debbie re-appears. The stupid thing is of course, if Debbie had come to us honestly, we probably would have agreed to take the kids for a week or two. It's the way she did it that really bothers me.

Sigh, well I guess I'd better get some sleep now... I'm going to need it!! Thanks for letting me vent.

Honestly Chava,

I would call the cops on her.

That is not to say you can't take care of the kids, but I would still call the cops on her.

If she is doing this once now, who is to say she won't do it again?

She shouldn't get a free pass is my opinion.

Thanks Captain Forest! I'm still up, bleah. Can't sleep because I am sooo angry. But I'm glad to hear you say that, because we DID call the RCMP tonight, and I felt a bit bad about it, so it's good to know someone else feels it's okay.

Actually in spite of how upset I am about this I am pretty worried about Debbie. Like she's acting weird. I would like the police to find her, just to make sure she isn't going to commit suicide or something. And yes, she did abandon her kids, which is a crime.

Anyway thanks for understanding. I appreciate it.

Chava-DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE VENTED!(really vented):cool:
1-This is an unfortunate and stressful situation and I agree this is a crime- to abandon children:mad:
2-The good thing is the children are in GOOD hands:)
3-Be patient until ALL the facts are in!!
4-It must take a lot for a mother to leave her children with no explanation! :mad:
5-The welfare of the children comes first, be patient until all the facts come to light!! (did I repeat myself?? )
6-Just a question... for when you are not mad... anymore-Have you been chosen to step forward again?;)
7-Do not answer 6 WITHOUT MUCH THOUGHT!
8- I have faith that not only will you get to the heart of THIS problem, but your solution will be the RIGHT one:)

Forgive the numbers!:cool: :confused:

I agree with the Captain. I think that is terrible of her to dump the kids on you like that. Not to straddle the fence but I also agree with talaniman that it must have been hard for her to leave them. She is feeling stressed but it still doesn't give her the right to do this. God must know what he is doing to have her leave the kids with you. Keep the thought of caring about your sister-in-law but not to the point that she walks all over you. You've got your own family to care for and a 6 week old that needs you more than any of them right now (except your husband if you know what I mean) ;) LOL. Keep us posted.

She fits right in with my biological family Chava... and I am so sorry, sweetie. How very very very desperate or unkind of her all around. One of those thousand nameless mental illnesses at work here, I bet. You all need to sort it out so the appropriate things can happen and those who need care, get it. And I trust you all will too.

Breath in, breathe out. (hugs)

Thanks talaniman and jduke (oh and val too... we must have posted at the same time!). I think I'm done venting / being angry. Ugh I'm just too exhausted. Alex and I were up half the night alternately with the baby and with crying kids. Then I got up early to make breakfast for the brood, and had to go on a big shopping spree with kids in tow while my mom stayed home to clean up the huge mess. Then took the kids to McDonalds for lunch, mostly for the indoor play structure and a rest for me. We stayed there for nearly 90 minutes... longest I've ever been in a McDonalds! I kept ordering coffee so they wouldn't kick us out, lol. Came home, and banished the kids to the backyard, where they proceeded to get very muddy and started throwing rocks. Sigh. Then back inside again, where my mom and I had to bathe the kids, bathe the 2 dogs who also got muddy, do laundry, and clean up the huge mud trail. Now they are all thankfully having "quiet time".

The RCMP have not found my sister-in-law yet, but it hasn't been very long. Still, we're feeling quite worried and anxious about her. When I unpacked the children's things I found that Debbie had packed their birth certificates, medical records, all their important papers, etc... which indicates to me that she plans on being away a while. We have also not been able to get a hold of the children's father yet, but no big surprise there.

I did speak to Alex's parents (Debbie is their daughter), and they are frantic. I guess Debbie totally moved out of the place she was living in, and her phone number is disconnected. They told me that Debbie had been acting strange lately, too. Like sick strange, and they were worried about her and the children... but very relieved that the kids are with me and Alex. Yeah... good ol' Chava and Alex! Bleah. :rolleyes:

Wow... quite a story... sounds like a movie or something. I wish I had the words to console here but I don't. That's quite a handful and now you have to put your life on hold.

The sad thing is that even if you do find her, is she even fit to take care of her kids at all? You may want to be thinking long term here just in case.

Sigh... yeah my whole life's a movie it seems! Thanks for the rep, wish I could reciprocate, but I've given out too much rep again. And yes, we have to think about what's going to happen longterm. Debbie, if and when they find her, may need psychiatric help, so it's hard to say what's going to become of the kids.

Chava, just thought I would let you know I think you are doing a great job. You must be quite the people to be able to be trusted the way you are.

Your sister-in-law must really be going through a hard time right now. It's good the kids have you and your family. Even with that being true, I would not take on the responsibility of this family all at once. What I mean to say, is that if you need to decide what to do with the kids, I don't think you should feel guilt either way. As stated earlier I'm sure you will make the right decision no matter what that might be.

What I said might not have made any sense but I do want to wish you and your family the best. Take care.

I can honestly say I know what your going through. I raised my brother and sister and until the last couple of years have been caring for everyone else's children. Just do me a favor, take the kids that are old enough go out into the backyard and scream at the top of your lungs with them... It helps get the stress out and to be able to breath... it may sound funny and the neibors might think your crazy but stress can kill you, and it's no good for the little ones. Next, set down the rules... Kids can be very manipulative even in grief to get what they want, make sure your firm and try to be fair. It looks like your going to be the authority figure for some time to come and this will help in the long run... Sorry... Next I would suggest that the newest additions don't get too much slack or attention from you, alex or your parents... this may seem harsh but it will help them adjust quickly into there new situation and accept you more as the authority. After that... Take a deep breath and a nice bubble bath and try to relax a bit, if your stressed and angry they're going to pick up on it. Especially your 6week old. I would try and worry as little as possible about where Debbie is, there's nothing you can do that you haven't already. Concentrate on your family however extended that is. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger the saying goes. Right now even though you don't feel strong and you feel like your going to break your not. You wouldn't have to go through all of this if it wasn't up to the plan laid out for you. Always remember that we're here for you hun. No matter what's going on or who you have to vent to we're always an outlet to listen and get feedback from. I know if I were you I would be very mad too... I know that I might also seek out an attorney too to make sure those children stay in your care and don't become "wards of the state". You know yourself what can happen when that happens. I wish you the best of luck and let us know how things are going. It looks like you've been given a lot of lemons in life recently, time to make some lemonade. Keep us posted on everything

Well things are settling down a bit... the kids all went to bed at 8 pm, although the 2 older ones were allowed to stay awake reading until 9 pm. I am exhausted, and I actually feel quite depressed as well. Hopefully it's just from the stress and being tired. If I feel like this for a few days though I might ask my dad to prescribe me something. Because ugh I feel really really down, and that's not normal for me.

Anyway thanks again everyone for your support. I will keep you posted. There is no news on Debbie or her ex.

Change is always difficult. The ups and downs of life seem to stress us more than any single event seems to... Like I said take a deep breath and a relaxing bubble bath and let the stress go... It might not stay away but it's better to have a break to remember than not to and get more stressed. Feel better hun and remember if you weren't such a wonderful person you wouldn't have all this love to go around.

Dear heavens Chava, I have no wonderful words of advice or wisdom. I just want to say what an AMAZING woman I think you are and give you a huge hug and all the support in the world. I can't believe a mother could abandon her children like that. No matter how hard her life may seem at this time. Those poor kids have got to be so confused and hurt:( hang in there sweetheart. God never gives us more than we can handle. Although it may not seem like it right now.You are just amazing and I really hope Debbie gets her head on straight and realizes the HUGE mistake she has made.

Orange,

Well this Debbie one, at least she did not do anything bad to the children. I know just dropping them off and taking off that way is bad as well, but I mean things like murder suicide. Somebody going off the deep end mad and does not want to bother with life anymore. I am happy that she trusted you guys enough to leave the children with you because obvously she does not trust herself with them right now. I am glad that you called the RCMP. It is good that you got them involved, right away. The longer you wait the harder it would be to trace her. So take it easy. I am hoping for the best with everybody that is involved. You are doing really well considering all the changes that has be happening.

Joe

Thanks again everyone for your support. I'm feeling a bit better today. I was able to sleep in, because my father was worried about me yesterday and wouldn't let the kids wake me up this morning. He and my mom took care of them. Still no word on Debbie or her ex. Alex's parents want to fly out here and I guess I can't very well say no, but yikes like we don't have enough people in this house already!! With Alex's parents here the head count would go up to 12. Anyway Alex is going to talk to them about it some more today, to see if that's what they really want to do. I guess they're going crazy with worry out in BC though, and figure they can worry better with us? :rolleyes: I don't know...

Well, Chava, you said you needed more bodies to fill that new house!!

Well, not to make fun of your situation, but consider the children lucky that Debbie left them with you. You have those wonderful doctor men in your family that can really help all involved with this situation. As another answer said she could have committed murder/suicide.

I am keeping you in my thoughts. I really hope all goes well. Have you all checked hospitals to see if Debbie may have checked herself into one?

Keep us posted. And keep you chin up, you apparently are the stable person she feels comfortable leaving her kids with.

Well, still no news for us, from Debbie or her ex. We did check the hospitals as you mentioned Janine (with no luck), and the RCMP has said that there have been no activities on Debbie's credit cards, and she's not tried to cross the border into the US or fly anywhere (I don't know how they track all that stuff, but I guess they do it with computers!).

Alex's parents are flying here tonight, sigh. So practically the whole Kohen clan will be in our house, all we need now is Alex's unmarried brother and everyone would be here! I'm not sure yet what's going to happen with the kids, but my 4 and 6 year old are starting summer day camp next week, and we've made arrangements to send Debbie's kids to the camp as well, if they're still here. I can't wait for next week!! I feel a little guilty saying so, but I am sooo sick of kids right now! Alex feels the same way. The kids will be gone for whole days, 8:30 - 3:30, Monday to Friday! It's going to be wonderful. Alex is even thinking of trying to get a week off or so, so that we can spend more time together. We might even go to a hotel for a weekend (with the baby of course), and let the assorted grandparents take care of the kids. I am really stressed from being with kids 24/7, and Alex is stressed from work and also studying, so we both badly need a break.

Chava, as I mentioned before, my thoughts are with you. Please keep me updated either here, PM, or e-mail. Does Debbie have a computer at her home? If so, you may want to check to see if she has met someone online and gone off.

Keep us posted, and good luck. Have a nice quiet day tomorrow.

That's a great idea about the computer, Janine! Although, the apartment where Debbie and the kids were living has been vacated. The police went there to check it out, and it looks like she sold everything. Her phone number and utilities have been disconnected. It's all really weird. We haven't heard any news yet, either.

I am concentrating on the kids right now. Liam, the oldest of the three at age 9, has been acting up really badly... he talks back, swears at us, lies, runs away from the house for hours, is destructive and generally disrespectful, and tries to get the younger kids to follow. I understand that he's hurting right now, but at the same time we can't tolerate that behaviour. So, last night we stripped his room of all its comforts and took away his privileges. He then told us to f* off and called me the c word, but quickly took it back, because my husband was there at the time and "confronted" him about it. My husband is a big tall intimidating guy, so poor Liam was scared out of his wits. We heard him crying during the night but decided to just let him cry. This morning he was actually better behaved and asked what he could do to earn back the things we'd taken away! So I was thrilled about that. I had felt so mean. But he was really being horrid. Actually overall I think being here will be good for Liam, as he's mostly been raised by Debbie and hasn't seen his biological father for at least 2 years. At least here he has some positive male influence, which a boy of his age really needs.

Summer day camp for the kids starts tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the break!

Its so strange how she managed to disappear, and like others I have a small fret going about it on your behalf Chava. As for the kids, you will find they actually need limits and consequences and without them it gets crazy. So its sometimes better to see the big picture where kindness may not be a kindness and meaness is not really mean at all. You are doing well - makes me almost want to go to summer camp too! Lanyards and painted plaster casts and beaded boxes here we come!!

Yeah the whole disappearance thing is very, very strange. It doesn't seem to me that she's dead, though. I know it's kind of weird for me to say that I know whether she's dead, but I have a kind of a sixth sense about these things sometimes. I think she's gone away somewhere... to hide. I do hope she is all right. Actually we are trying to think of where she might go for a break, a favorite spot of hers, etc.

Yes summer camp can be very fun. I remember making Mexican gods eyes, macramé bracelets, necklaces out of round wood pieces, macaroni art, etc... I also really liked the sports, nature hikes and canoeing. I hope the kids, especially the "visitors", get a lot out of camp. I especially hope it exhausts them so they are quiet in the evenings, lol.

Some of us have to deal with grief in our own way. I know I was one of those types of kids that spent a lot of time alone thinking and dealing with the painful things in my life. I have to say that I don't think it's "weird" for you to know that she's not dead. At the age of six or seven I started crying hysterically and my mother couldn't calm me down. I knew my grandfather had passed on an hour before my mom got the phone call. It scared her half to death that I would know something like that when it happened. I do hope all the kids have fun at camp and come back with an attitude change. Now what happens if she doesn't come back for a long time? This is a question you need to ask yourself too. These kids are going to need stability and I know you can give them this, but are you ready too is another question. Debbie obviously left them with you for that reason considering the other two you've taken in. She had this planned for awhile and though seriously about what she needed to do to escape. I would hate to see them move into state custody... I know this is a lot for you to take on right now... I honestly worry more about the children than Debbie. She's a grown woman and probably fully aware of her choices... Even if she's not in the right mind to make them...

Well it's nice to know I'm not the only one with the "sixth sense" or whatever you want to call it... I've had similar experiences to you, Myth... I sensed when a friend of mine died, too. I didn't exactly articulate into words, but when I heard she was dead I was not at all surprised; it was like I already knew she was dead. I don't have a good feeling about Debbie right now, but I do feel that she's still among the living!


Now what happens if she doesn't come back for a long time? This is a question you need to ask yourself too. These kids are going to need stability and I know you can give them this, but are you ready too is another question. Debbie obviously left them with you for that reason considering the other two you've taken in. She had this planned for awhile and thought seriously about what she needed to do to escape.

YIKES yes I know! It's the question I've been trying to avoid thinking about, but as the days pass and there is still no word from Debbie, we're going to need to deal with it. I also don't want to see them put in care. You make a very good point about Debbie leaving them with us because we have adopted Sam's kids (Alex's brother who died). I am sure that's why, too. Plus we are the only family really equipped to take the kids... the grandparents are too old and Alex's mom has a serious lung condition which takes up a lot of her and her husband's time... in fact I'm not even sure she's going to live much longer because of it. So who does that leave? Alex's single younger brother who's still in university and US. So of course we get the kids... yipppeee. :rolleyes:

Financially we are able to take them, and Alex's parents have already offered more money if the children stay with us longterm (money is their solution for everything!) I also have a live-in housekeeper / nanny, although she's off for the summer and comes back end of August. So really I am very fortunate with all the support that is around me. Emotionally though I'm not sure I'm ready for MORE children... sigh. But is there really any alternative?? Even if Debbie comes back, the police say the longer she stays away the fewer rights she has regarding her kids. Like already she's going to have to fight to prove she can look after them. We've already had a visit from a social worker to discuss our suitability to look after the children (we called CFS on our own, on purpose, for that reason). It seems that CFS and everyone else thinks we are very suitable. That's great on the one hand, but on the other hand it leaves me feeling a bit trapped. If Debbie is gone for 30 days, we then need to apply for temporary custody of the children, or else relinquish them to CFS. We can apply for custody earlier if we like, but 30 days is the deadline, apparently. The social worker thinks we will have no trouble getting temporary custody, given that we are blood relatives, have the means to look after the kids, and plus the foster care system is really overloaded and there is a shortage of available homes. If they were put in the system, they might also have to separated. And seeing as I've been in the system myself, I know how devastating it can be to a child. I was one of the lucky ones... a lot of my foster siblings are not doing so well in their lives now, some are in jail, some are dead, etc. So there's no way I could place these kids in that position, knowing what could happen and how it could hurt them emotionally.

If they were special needs kids, like with autism or something else very serious like that, I might consider placing them in care, since children with special needs in care often get better services and help. However, these kids, although very bratty are perfectly healthy, so there's no reason for them to be in care.

I do worry a lot more about them than about Debbie. Debbie still infuriates me actually. And I feel really put upon, although I'm trying very hard not to convey that to the children. But I do really resent that everyone seems to think Alex and I are sooo great and therefore we should take care of all the kids... like really, we have ALL the kids on his side of the family now!! Lucky for us I don't have any biological siblings!! :eek:

Anyway I guess I'm just rambling now, but you bring up some good points, Myth. I've already discussed with Alex that I want to go back into psychotherapy, couples counseling, parenting therapy or whatever if we keep the kids longterm. Otherwise this is going to be way too much. Luckily I have a wonderful, supportive husband and family!

Don't forget us here... lol... I just hope it isn't too much of a strain on you and alex hun. On the plus side your son will have a lot of people to look after him as he grows. Don't let it get you too down. And vent to us all you like I know I would if I needed too... in fact I do... lol...

It's the lack of choice in it, I think Chava. And the lack of regard for all concerned... and there is yet to be an explanation or understanding of circumstances that balances that very well. Its hard to take events that tend to stretch us a bit past our comfort zone on the basis of kismet.

Be patient and try not to think too far down the road too. Stay simple in your thoughts and actions until more is apparent. Today's view is not necessarily tomorrows?

I hope that helps a little... hug

Thanks Myth! Yes I definitely plan on continuing to vent online lol. And yes I am glad about my biological son having lots of people around... that part is great, and the kids are helping with the baby more than I had hoped. But OMG if we keep them all... :eek: They are ages 9, 8, almost 7, 5, 4 1/2, and 6 weeks... there's going to be practically one in each grade of school!!

It's the lack of choice in it, I think Chava. And the lack of regard for all concerned... and there is yet to be an explanation or understanding of circumstances that balances that very well. Its hard to take events that tend to stretch us a bit past our comfort zone on the basis of kismet.

Be patient and try not to think too far down the road too. Stay simple in your thoughts and actions until more is apparent. Today's view is not necessarily tomorrows?

I hope that helps a little... hug

Oh thanks to you as well Val... you must have posted at the same time as me.

YES lack of choice is a big reason why I'm upset. We were given a choice with the 2 we adopted... we agreed to take them when their parents were still alive. Of course we never expected the deaths to be so soon, but at least it wasn't a conscious decision on the parents' parts. They didn't abandon their kids the way Debbie did with hers! :mad:

I am trying to think about the future, yet not think too much about the future, have some positive feelings for Debbie, yet deal with my anger towards her, take care of the kids, get attached but not too attached... ugh. It's all a big jumble still... but thanks for your concern, I really appreciate it! :)

And like part of me feels like saying YOU KNOW WHAT, DEBBIE?? **** OFF, WE'RE ADOPTING YOUR KIDS AND DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK YOU STUPID ****!! LOL.

Yes we post like ships passing in the night, Girl!

So...
One day at a time...
Breathe breathe breathe...
Keep it simple...
More shall be revealed to you...
There, do you feel like you are in a Parents Anonymous meeting yet?? LOL
People are pretty screwed up and others suffer along with them, sadly. Not fair.

Bleah I have insomnia, AGAIN! It's 3 am here. This always happens to me when I am worried or stressed...

Well, it's officially a week today that Debbie took off. It gets scarier and scarier the longer she's gone. Like OMG WHERE IS SHE?? Today her youngest asked me why does Mommy hate me so much? :( And when I tried to talk to her oldest about her earlier today, he turned up the volume on the TV and was trying not to cry. And the middle child asked if Debbie came back, would he have to go home with her, or could he stay with us?

At least she could have left them some kind of note, like to say bye or Mommy loves you but is going away for a while, or whatever. I mean obviously she was planning to take off, so she could have planned to make it a bit easier on the kids, too.

I sincerely hope that I never become so self-centred or mentally ill or whatever that I decide it's okay to take off on my precious baby or any of the other kids for that matter... god it makes me sick just thinking about it!!

Anyway obviously I am tired and rambling, but I couldn't believe it's a week already... wow.

A week already. Well I am still up and it is 5:30 in the morning here right now. The kids are traumatized being left like that. I hope they find her soon. Until then my prays are with you and the whole family.

Joe

Well, as a quick update, my husband and I are back home from our trip. We've been back since the weekend actually, but I haven't had time to be on here much. There has been no further news on Debbie (it's now 3 weeks since she disappeared). So, we are now going on the assumption that she will not be returning, at least not anytime soon. Which means we have applied for temporary custody of the children.

Because of this, I doubt I will have much time to be on the askme site, at least until September when the children go back to school. I feel I need to devote as much of my time as possible to them.

So, thanks everyone for your comments and support... I will try to come on when I can, but I likely won't be really active again until September. Hope you all have a great rest of the summer!

Thanks for checking in with us Chava, we were beginning to wonder if you are all right. I understand about being so busy and wish you a wonderful summer as well. Meanwhile, I'll be keeping an eye out for you here too. I miss you, Girl!

Thanks for the welcome back everyone. I'm on for about 30 minutes tonight, at least I hope I can have an uninterrupted 30 minutes! :rolleyes:

Alex and I had a good break, we were able to spend time together, re-group a bit and decide what we were going to do about the kids. It seems unreal that we are getting temporary custody, but honestly I'm not sure what else can be done. No one else in the family can take them, so the only other alternative is foster care. And given my personal experiences in the system, I won't allow that to happen.

Debbie appears to have dropped off the face of the earth. Even if she returns soon, she will now have to fight to get her kids back. Not that we will purposely keep them from her, but the laws are such that she will now need to prove she is fit to take care of them. A social worker friend of mine said that process can take 6 months to a year or even more, once the parent applies to get the children back. Sigh. So we are in it for the long haul.

Anyway I'm going to check out some other posts quickly before all hell breaks loose again here, as it seems to in the evenings!

Wow I can't believe it's been another 12 days since I last posted in here?? :eek: It doesn't seem that long, but it's so incredibly busy around here and I haven't had time for anything except kids kids kids!!

To those of you who I have promised to write to, phone, visit, send something, etc, etc... please accept my apologies. I have NOT forgotten you. You will eventually hear from me.

Here's what's new since the last update:

No sign of Debbie whatsoever. We did contact her ex, however. He is perfectly happy to continue living overseas and have us raise his estranged children. In fact, he offered to relinquish his parental rights officially, which shocked me, to be honest!

We now have temporary custody of the children. After a certain period has elapsed, we will have permanent custody. If Debbie is a no-show for a year, we are thinking of adoption. Not that I want Debbie out of the children's lives if she returns, but I also don't want her coming back a year or more later and stirring everything up for them again, or thinking she can just automatically take them away.

The children (all of them, Debbie's and ours) are adjusting a lot better than expected. We have a large house and the kids like having others around to play with (and get into trouble with too, unfortunately!). They have fights of course but on the whole I think the kids are doing better than Alex and I are. We are still exhausted and can't wait for our housekeeper to come back from holidays. I am also starting to wish that baby Noah will never start walking or talking lol. He is so EASY right now compared to the rest of them! And do you guys realize that he is almost 3 months old now too?? He's getting to be a big boy! And he's VERY happy... he loves having all the kids and pets around. Never a dull moment in his life.

Anyway that's it for now. It's been weird not coming here or contributing as much. I've been back into the art and writing quite heavily though, and that's a good thing.

Take care everyone!

Glad to hear you are well and welcome back :)

Oh wow.

I missed this post when it started and I'm just in shock. Been dealing with the passing of a family member and another friend and out of the askme loop.

There are times when you just have to laugh. When things are so absolutely over the edge that there's just nothing else to do.

I'm amazed at all that you've been through and all you are doing.

But you are in good health. In a good relationship. You are blessed. And you are strong enough it seems to handle about anything. I'm sure some of that comes from your experiences earlier in life.

All of those children need you right now, and you are doing a wonderful job. Your generosity and caring will cascade throughout their lives, and you will be paid back with such great love when they are older and able to understand just what you have given.

Lol... I bet the kids are running you and alex ragged. I am glad to hear it though cause it means that they are adjusting quickly and well... Keep up the good work!! I can understand not being on here as much as you want to, or would like to for that matter. I can't believe Noah is almost three months... wow... oh my that means I'm three months closer to meeting mine for the first time... Well continue to fight the good fight, as exhausting as it may be... School is just around the corner and then you'll have a bit of a break. Keep us posted as much as you can.

Chava, I cannot believe it has been that long!! I hope you are getting your rest. I am sure you aren't. LOL

It is good to hear from you again. It has been a while. I am sorry you have not heard anything about Debbie.

Just remember it is only a few weeks till the housekeeper/Nanny comes back and only a few more till they go back to school. Mine start back to school on Aug 7. Rae goes into 7th grade and Johnny starts Pre-K.

It is good to know that all the kids are adjusting well to each other and that you and Alex got to spend some good quality time together. That can make all the difference in the world.


Just keep us posted. You are lucky enough to have the biggest extended family in the world. Our thoughts are always with you.

It was so good to hear from you again and you actually sound pretty good. I am glad you are gathering all the children under your collective wings and I am still holding out the she surfaces with nothing more than a bad case of egg of her face.

Thank you for answering the thread about water colours -- I just knew you'd have something good to say there. I am pleased to hear you are exercising your creative talents so well. Keeps you sane, huh?

I miss you but I understand being busy so pop in now and then, okay?
Hugs to you Chava!

Thanks Val. Yeah I am missing you guys as well! The only reason I am able to post here today is because I have caught quite a bad flu, and 2 of the kids have it as well, so I am not doing any of my normal activities.

I agree it would be nice if Debbie would show up soon... very nice! But who knows. It's been a long time now... over a month... so our hopes for her quick (or safe!) return are kind of diminishing. We have to proceed as if the children are going to be with us longterm. Actually even if Debbie showed up today, we would likely have them for another 6 months to a year, the child protective services told us. Because they will expect Debbie to prove herself as a fit mum now. But it would be nice for them if she did show up. Nice for us too, because we won't have to worry anymore what's happened to her.

Thanks also Myth, Janine, kp, Krs... anyone I missed? I appreciate the support. Janine I WISH my kids were going back to school so soon! It's not until the end of August for us. Myth, good luck with your babies. I am excited for you!

Well I'm going to sign off here right away though and go lay down again. Ugh.

Orange, I too missed this post when it initially started and just came across it today.

You are truly one very amazing and generous lady. To open your home and heart to all those children and to not personally hunt their mother down like a dog is extraordinary.

Best wishes to you, you're doing great. God bless you all. Rest and keep us posted when you can.

Orange,
This is a terrible situation to be put in and of course totally inexcusable. On the other hand the girl obviously has some sort of serious issue, which you pointed out earlier, but I would that some consolidation that she knew that you would look after her children. Hope all goes well

Wow... Hugs - and you already seem like such a wonderfully strong person - but in case you need any more, I'm sending you cyber-strength-vibes... ;)

Wow, looks like you re going to be supermom with such lot of experience with kids :)
Cheerup, you can do it. It might be a good idea to get some help check if there are good baby sitters around. Take care of your health. Eat well .